And Then I Thought

What if we are just God's art
Here to look at ourselves?

These are just things that poets say,
TWS

Mostly Cloudy

Am I too glammed up to go to a live nativity tonight? 

The lights in the kitchen are giving me rave vibes.

Anyway, here's a comic I did today loosely based on a true story:

So incredibly loosely based,

TWS

STAHP

Ok, can everybody - like - stop normalizing badness?

I don't mean to go all valley girl on you, but life doesn't have to be so hard all the time.

I mean, like, it can be, but it doesn't have to be...

Let me point out some very unhelpful phrases in our ordinary vernacular:

Person A: "Hey, how's it goin'?"

Person B: "Better than I deserve."

What do you think you deserve, then?

Because you best believe that how you perceive what you deserve is exactly what you experience.

That sounded about like 432 hz better in my head.

And I know (and I know!!!) that this is like a Dave Ramsey thing and that it seems 100% awesome to say through the right lens, but for everyone on the radio show, it's just weird, man. Why you gotta bring your whole self worth into an answer to a throwaway question?

Ok anyway, next example:

Person C: " Hey, how are you?"

Person D: "I can't complain."

Do you expect to complain all the time?

In what reality is it normal to be complaining all the time?

Why would you answer a question in the negative?

What monster lives under your bed?

I don't have monsters under my bed.

But I do have monsters that destroy the toilet paper in the guest bathroom when I'm out of town.

They are my cats.

Ok anyway, next example:

Person E: "I'm experiencing _________."

Person F: "Well, that's what happens when you're over 40."

Person E: "Yeah, I've heard it's normal for people my age to have this problem."

Stop normalizing badness.

STAHPPPPPP

Like, it's not normal to have problems. 

That is why they are problems. Because they are not normal.

Who told you that was normal?

Who?

WHO!?!?!?!??!

I know you guys believe that we live in a broken, sinful world, but what if the kingdom was at hand and we could just live in our inheritance but we keep waiting and waiting and waiting for something or someone to DIE when we could just BE and ENJOY?

The promised land was always there, but they just kept making up excuses not to go ahead and get into it. They kept limiting themselves because they thought they had to wait and earn it or weren't one with the father and didn't deserve it or whatever.

Person G(od): "Hey, I have this thing that outperforms your expectations."

Person H(uman): "If it's too good to be true, it probably is."

If things always have to be mediocre for you, well then, yeah.

Because you will only can ever believe in something marginally better. 

And once that "better" accolades your new normal, anything above it still seems too far out of reach.

Just by the very wingspan of your own eyes.

So if you say no, then no it will be.

Person I: *suffers internally, externally*

Person I: "Well it just is what it is."

But what if by your own mere belief you gave yourself permission to deserve not to suffer?

I know that sounds complicated, but I'm kind of in the middle of overthrowing a big hairy arm of the military industrial complex here so hang with me.

What if we just stop accepting a new low as the new normal?

What if instead of fighting things, we just kind of, you know...left?

What if we stop latching on to diagnoses as destinies?

What if we put all of that attention to a new direction? 

What if the moon was your car and Jupiter was your toothbrush?

There are so many things that just don't deserve our energy and attention but they keep being important because we keep making them important.

A person who needs healing cannot go back to the life in which they begat illness for it would only resurface and breed more. They must move forward in a new direction.

If they truly want out, then they can no longer believe that their former life is for them.

That what was once normal is now not.

How very interesting.
It's almost like they didn't even know how powerful they were just by what they believed.

Mike and I adopted a wise mantra recently.

I'll give it to you for a large sum of money.

Just kidding, nerd.

"Not in my reality."

Ps 16:6 Indeed a good inheritance is mine,

TWS

omg does Alli still believe in a book?

Vacation Mode

Mike and I have travelled a lot this year, but just about every time we skipped town it became more fun to do so because we discovered something.

Vacation Mode

This is a state of consciousness where you give yourself permission to be free: 

Free from caring about work

Free to order whatever you want on the menu

Free to stay up frightfully late because you love talking to one another 

Free to order an alcoholic drink in the middle of the day

Free to go back to the same restaurant three nights in a row because it's literally the best thing that exists in the rat hole called Gainesville (GA, not FL)

After a few trips, we realized that we have been holding ourselves back in "normal life".

Like, why can't we just be in Vacation Mode all the time?

Do what we want to do, eat what we want to eat, when we want to eat it and just enjoy the crap out of life because we are limitless spiritual beings having temporary human experiences and so, yeah, like, why wouldn't you live it up?

It's like when you accidentally press F11 on your keyboard and you're like I had no ideaaaaaaaa and then will your life really ever be the same?

We just became so aware of these silly little limitations we had carried over from a "previous life" where we were trying to save every spare dollar so that we could invest and retire and do whatever we want to do. I mean, what's the point of getting there if you can't even do what you want to do when you get there?

Because of the limits of the left brain. It gets into the pattern of old thinking.

Order a margarita at a restaurant? 

Nah - not worth it. Not "logical". We can make margaritas at home, right?

But what your programming is really saying is, "You're not worth it. You don't deserve what you want."

And maybe some people don't like travelling because it's too hard or inconvenient to bring their normal life along with them, and they're not comfortable living outside of those confines. 

But that is why travel is good and healthy and enlightening because it forces you to get a new perspective and expand your thinking a little bit. 

If you relax and let it.

Travelling is supposed to be fun, but we must give ourselves the permission to have fun because perhaps we are so unaccustomed to not letting go of our rigid expectations of ourselves. 

I remember the first time I had wine on a plane. 

I realized I had been travelling all wrong.

And now I will never not have wine on a plane. You get high...while you get high. 

"Everything should be play. Even work should be play. And that's what it's gonna be." 

- Mike Harshner, 2023

I absolutely love when vacations change my life because I allow them to shift my perspective so much.

Change your thoughts.

Change your mind.

Enter vacation mode.

And then just live there.

I also dropped the E in my name because I decided it was more authentic to me,

TWS (Alli)

But Like Really Why

Dear Facebook Marketplace,

Is it me?

Is it that I want too much to sell my things that you are not allowing me to? 

Is the desperation coming through in my desperately low prices?

I just don't think it's fair that you would limit me.

Like, sure, I can only post 8 items at a time. You got it.

But then I sell, like, over half of the things, and you limit me from posting more?

There is all the sudden a probation period where there wasn't before?

Oh, now I get it.

I am so successful at moving product that you feel threatened.

You give me "tips" like a longer title or refreshing the post.

So clever.

But then you just send all your bots at me.

All the ones that are trained to ask if it is still available.

I hopefully reply, enthusiastically, "Yes!"

And then ghosted, so cold.

So cold.

so cold

why you do this to me

I really didn't want to have to go back to Craig and his list. 

We had a great time together. We really did.

We sold some furniture together, a cat bed, a few dumbbells, just you and I.

Just like old times. 

But then you got too controlling, which is understandable with Zuckerberg at the helm.

You could've been so cool.

so cool

See you in "14 days" or whatever,

TWS

You Know Where to Find Me

 Ah, and now, the blog post everyone no one has been waiting for!

But first, lyrics:

I already know your deepest secrets
If you want to tell me more, I am here
Like I've always been
If you feel like a hypocrite and you're scared 'cause you think that you might be
If you ever need someone to shut up and listen
You know where to find me

I hope you do

If you feel depressed because you just need rest
And you can't even force a smile
If you need a pat on the back because you haven't had one of those in a while
If you're frustrated because you know that no on else could possibly understand
You know where I am

I hang in window sills looking out at the world from within my own mind
Doesn't everybody
Need to know what it's like to have someone on their side
I am on your side

A place that is private

Oasis of quiet

And you're swimming in a sea of your own thought

Figure out which ones are good to listen to

And which ones are not

Throw away what has never served you

You don't have to stay in what has hurt you

You might just be free

You're created to be

And you'll know when you find me

I hang in old recordings

Replaying the same old story

Unless you give me a new song to sing

Doesn't everybody

Need to know that they have power from within

I am found within

Like I've always been

Doesn't everybody know?

You know where to find me

I am the last door at the end of the hallway

Walk in, it's open

But you're not gonna find what you think you are

And the answers that you're hoping

It's just a mirror, incredibly clearer

'Cause you're no longer hiding

If you need to know that you're never alone

You know where to find me

Secondly, go watch the music video.

And then maybe also the blooper reel.

Now are we ready to talk? Ok cool.

Let's discuss my pronouns lol:

"You" - the conditioned self, the one running around trying to be somebody, seeking external validation

"Me" - the authentic self, the whole and complete, loving and accepting true internal self

The song is about coming back into being. It is my higher, true, authentic self calling me back to being me in the coolest most compassionate Allie way. In real life, I did it through painting, walking, and journaling, which I literally illustrated in the video. 

Sidebar: I'm thinking about writing a book about my awakening called "Unbecoming Into Being" that will easily be the greatest love story of all time and an international bestseller, but I need to create some space in my life first, so don't be surprised if I make some major life changes to make that happen. k thx

Ok, so back to the video & song:

It begins with me running, which represents me running away from that whole conversation with myself. If I can just be who people want me to be, then I never have to be myself or even figure out what that means.  

My outfit of all black is intentional here. It's me thinking I'm free of having shadows/"bad parts" but I'm literally wearing them on the outside. It's a great representation of being unaware of parts of yourself that others can see but you cannot.

So then the higher self is like "I already know your deepest secrets" because I've been reading your journal because I've also been writing it and I'm here for you, bro. I'm literally you. Why are you so afraid of being honest with yourself? Or being yourself?

The room is blue, my shirt is blue, song sung blue everybody knows one #neildiamond.

Blue represents divinity. My higher self is speaking from a place of infinite love, compassion, and understanding. 

"Like I've always been"

God has always been one with man; it's just been a matter of consciousness/us realizing it.

If that truth throws you, don't let it. This world isn't what you think it is.

Also, the sky is blue. :)

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and then that illustration in my journal:
"You cannot talk Butterfly language with Caterpillar people."

I didn't make that up- I saw it somewhere, but it is so true. It is so difficult to communicate what you're learning about yourself and the world to someone who has not gone through that cocoon themselves. It is easier with free thinkers, but almost impossible with people that are still in places that you have left.

We're just on different journeys, I guess, but it can be kind of a downer not to be understood. That's why I put all this deep crap into my songs. :P

And then eventually, the false self gets tired of running or runs into snags, which was me with the whole "if you feel like a hypocrite and you're scared 'cause you think that you might be".

But the true self is always there to listen. 

"I hope you do"

We're all really just unconditional love when you get down to it.

And then the second verse gets into the nitty gritty.

Notice how I'm wearing grey in the journaling shots. This is me working through my shadows, understanding the parts of myself I didn't even know about, working through dark stuff, and then integrating which is just a fancy word for owning your past and being better for it.

"If you feel depressed because you just need rest and you can't even force a smile"

Finding time to rest and figure this stuff out is important to the process. 

I fear for people that do not take the time to do this.

The better you are at this, the better you show up in the world.

"If you need a pat on the back because you haven't had one of those in a while"

Holy crap- I bawled my eyes out when I wrote this part of the song.

For so long I had been seeking external validation that I was good or doing okay, but what I needed to realize is that my self worth and acceptance must first and foremost come from ME.

Self accept yourself.

"If you're frustrated because you know that no one else could possibly understand"

Yep.

Be frustrated.

And then come to realize that it is okay to live a life that others do not understand.

"You know where I AM."

Yassssssssssssss Christ in you the hope of glory Colossians 1:27

"I hang in window sills looking out at the world from within my own mind. Doesn't everybody?"

The eyes are the windows to the soul.

Everybody has a different worldview shaped by their own beliefs, feelings, and experiences, so we all see things differently. 

The truer you are to yourself, the clearer your vision will be.

Artistic license: I use the phrase "doesn't everybody" for both reiterating the first idea and also asking the second question.

"Doesn't everybody need to know what it's like to have someone on their side? I AM on your side."

At this part in the video, I'm moping around an actual window sill still looking for that external validation. And then I'm putting up a white cat, representing my "good parts", that I hide behind.

See, there was deeper stuff than you even knew in this.

I used my cats to represent duality of this realm.

True story.

But ultimately the idea is that you have to stop coming against yourself. You have to start being your own friend, being on your own side. Not in an egoic/narcissist way, but again, in a self-acceptance way. It's one of the most loving things you can ever do.

And then the walking in sneakers shot: I'm still on pavement, covered up in black, so I'm still hiding somewhat, but I've slowed down the pace now so I can listen. It's all part of the journey.

"A place that is private, oasis of quiet, and you're swimming in a sea of your own thought

Figure out which ones are good to listen to and which ones are not"

Yes! Using the power of awareness within you to not be a victim of your mind anymore.

Christ came to set the captives free, and I believe that is spiritual freedom by a relinquishing of the mind. We don't destroy the mind or kill the ego, for these are very useful tools on this 3D plane, but instead of being controlled by them, we have the power to control the mind by choosing what to think.

Huge. Life. Skills. Being learned right here.

"Throw away what has never served you

You don't have to stay in what has hurt you"

I'm reading through Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life" right now and it's almost like my song is the musical version of her book. 

You don't have to be a victim just because you were subconsciously taught to be.

The mind science behind this is fascinating, but long story short, we all have things to overcome.

It's so much easier to let go than to keep fighting for what you think you believe.

And that's why I'm so gleeful tearing out the pages I don't believe in anymore.

"You might just be free, you're created to be, and you'll know when you find me."

Once you step out of the fence from the beliefs that hold you back, welcome to true life.

And, yes, a lot of those limiting beliefs come from religious sources.

*gasp*

I know. It's okay. 

There is a lot of poison in fundamental Christianity that keeps honest-to-goodness Christ followers trapped in victim mentality and powerlessness.

I've been there. 

That's why I'm here. 

#kennychesney

And once you know that God is in you, like REALLY the literal breath within you, and you are a spiritual being that chose to have this human experience, let freedom frickin' ring.

"I hang in old recordings replaying the same old story unless you give me a new song to sing. Doesn't everybody?"

In the video, I am putting one of my very own CDs in the player, but I can tell you I am not that person anymore. I have grown and expanded and let go of so many unhelpful beliefs. 

If you keep telling yourself you are how you have always been, that is who you will continue to be.

But if that just doesn't vibe with you anymore, you must tell yourself a different story.

It's not lying to yourself, it's coming back to truth. 

A form of repentance, a turning away from the false self and unlearning all the fakery you've picked up along the way.

"Doesn't everybody need to know that they have power from within? I AM found within"

It is your power to choose your story, who you want to be.

The higher self is always there to remind you who you really are.

And then you can gleefully tear the pages you don't want in your story anymore and burn them.

Like I did in the video.

In the bridge part of the song, I slow down to a nice saunter in sandals.

I'm getting closer to the true self: walking on earth instead of pavement, closer to bare feet, vulnerability, honesty, authenticity.

I also filmed this on a sandy clay part of my yard so it would look like I was walking through the desert because this journey of self discovery is indeed one in the wilderness.

And then my soulful "Doesn't everybody knooooooooooooooooow?"

I wish everybody knew their own power and had the courage to walk in it. 

I really do.

Here I sung with passion, a full voice, a clear throat, representing the openness of the energy center/chakra for "speaking my truth".

Oh no! Allie said the thing we all hate because truth can't be relative!

I've got a picture for you that could explain this better.

Truth depends on your perspective and your light source, if you know what I mean.

So...relax.

The next parts of the video show progress:

1. An almost-finished self-portrait, representing getting closer to knowing oneself

2. A bewildered cat, which formerly represented my "good parts", sitting in a dark window sill, symbolizing that I have turned off the light there (no longer giving energy) to pretending to just be good

"I am the last door at the end of the hallway, walk in, it's open"

Last door, end of hallway represents rock bottom, but that's okay because sometimes you need to be there in order to make changes that will never lead you there again.

And the door to the higher self is always open.

Always.

Always always always.

"But you're not gonna find what you think you are and the answers that you're hoping"

True. This journey is never going to be what you think and some days are harder than others and sometimes you realize you had issues where you were too afraid to even look.

"It's just a mirror, incredibly clearer, 'cause you're no longer hiding"

Notice I'm now wearing white because white reflects all colors, representing the integration of my whole colorful self and it's not what I expected but it's awesome.

My true self is now me, and now I'm reflecting her out into the world.

Isn't that beautiful?

"If you need to know that you're never alone then you know where to find me."

The clip of me hugging Cooper was just going to be in the blooper reel because he interrupted an earlier clip, but I loved how it represented me embracing my "shadows"- literally hugging my shadow cat- so I kept it in there because that's all part of the journey, too.

And then also the clip of me holding Babycakes, because I have also embraced my "good parts".

The video ends with me walking barefoot across a bridge, representing a "crossing over" or life change, into earthy grass and then standing still. 

At last. 

Peace. 

Stillness. 

Acceptance. 

Oneness.

I found me.

It was in me all along.

And that's my spiritual awakening set to song.

Are we really not going to talk about how even that rhymed,

TWS

Truth Is

Ya'll not ready for this.

Truth is that 100% of my readers are not going to like my song.

They're going to "disagree" or "strongly disagree" with it and not let me around their kids anymore.

And that's okay.

That's really okay.

This song is actually about me self accepting myself and yeeting out of duality consciousness so we're all good here. Only one soul on earth knows that I write from the heart and so it can only be true to that one soul. 

That's what makes art and life so beautiful. 

All the little perspectives making a mosaic of the human experience.

Some of you may know that for the past year or so I've been going through a spiritual awakening.

I have let go of many, many beliefs and labels, and I have grown so much as a person because of it.

There is a lot more to this story which I will eventually chronicle because it started happening around the time I began journaling again, so I have a nice, full and juicy record I can pull from. 

Apparently I'm still a work in progress, so it may be a little while before the first episode.

Until then, I can release this song which is about a major breakthrough I had.

I know Christians mock the whole "self-love" movement because it seems conceited/self-centered and Christians are "supposed to be" focused on others/Christ-centered. 

I mean, maybe. 

What you're "supposed to be" is all learned doctrine at the end of the day.

You see, the great mystery is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27 

And God loves you, so it'd probably be okay to love what God loves.

And if you are to love others as yourself, don't you also kind of have to love yourself?

And I'm telling you guys. I saw the divine within every man. 

I was sitting at the Ft Lauderdale airport waiting for the last flight back to Atlanta and everyone looked like God. 

I can't explain it. It was a mystical experience. 

You can believe me or not. That's completely up to you.

But it changed my life forever because in that moment it became clear to me that just like Christ, I am one with the Father.

The power of God lies within me. I am not separate from the Creator.

I am the Creator wearing a little Allie face put here to do little Allie things.

So that's the big nonpharmaceutical pill that a lot of people won't be able to swallow because they are still in separation consciousness (i.e. God is separate from man) even though Christ came to do away with that. 

But that is the truth because it is my truth. 

It is what I experienced. 

And I know Christians mock the whole "my truth" movement because it seems like an free pass to let everyone do lawlessness. 

Truth is you guys all read the same book and have different interpretations of it all anyway to fit your doctrine. 

Again, I know from experience.

I was there. 

And I got to the end of my rope and turned up a quivering, powerless nincompoop overcome by fear.

Fear of the world, fear of God, and ultimately fear not getting into the kingdom...?

Aye, but the kingdom is within you. Luke 17:21

And you know what casts out fear? Perfect love. 1 John 4:18

Oh, man, that verse saved my life.

Love is the highest truth. 

It always comes back to love.

Realizing oneness with the Creator made me aware that I was not one with myself. I had ignored and suppressed and shamed so many parts of myself that were literally made for me to have and feel and enjoy. 

Why do Christians hate on feelings so much? Ugh. 

Feeling is healing, you guys. 

And meditation is medication, so jot that down.

So then who even am I?

Who is the True Allie beneath all the layers of do-gooder doctrine and unlearning that has had to occur? 

She is love.

She is just love.

Pure love.

And there is a FREEDOM here, you guys. There is a spiritual sovereignty that occurs. You don't fight your shadows anymore. You treat them like you would comfort a hurt child and accept yourself for just growing up for God's sake. You clear yourself of the guilt and shame that you have been holding over your own head for so long because of some lurking belief you were still holding on to.

Because he came to set the captives FREE. 

Oh, and how the ropes hang slack. :)

So this song is about the journey of becoming one with myself as weird as that sounds to say.

And I know some or most or all of you are not there yet and may not ever be in this lifetime. But this is me dissolving layers of masks I have a worn for months, shedding the façade and extra weight of who I am just not anymore.

The cover art is me wanting to be the light, the sun setting happily into the west, but the darkness being the vast deep ocean of unknown being like, "hold up now wait- we're one in this thing. I literally reflect you" and me being all "okay, after I get over myself, I can accept you".

I know it's a little deep, but in Genesis 1:6, the sky was separated from the water right after dark was separated from light, so this is a picture of it all coming back together.

People change, but the soul is eternal. 

When you make life changes based on your soul screaming, you know it's not "just a phase".

It's you coming back to truth.

To love.

And now, finally, you can listen to the song here at the cloud of sound. 

Interpretation of the lyrics is at the end.

Truth Is 

Truth is you're a song I've never sung out loud before

But I've sung within

Truth is I've never been free enough to open that door

And let you in

How dare you

And how rare to think you can show up and ask me to be myself

How dare you

It's not fair you already know things I would never tell

*intentional sigh*

Truth is it's always been you

The sun in my eyes while I've been sleeping

Your name is a bookmark on a page I keep going back to and reading

Oh, you awaken me

When did I forget how to feel

Truth is everything I perceive is wrong 

Is something in me I need (I need)

To heal

Truth is not what you think 

Because without love nothing would exist or matter

Truth is I'm tied to your frequency

I'm glass only your voice could shatter

And oh, hold me close now

And don't you ever drop me

I'm on a run now to truth to you

And nothing will stop me

Truth is only true to you if it's what you believe

Truth is only what the lens of your eyes can perceive

Truth is (truth is) no one knows enough

Truth is (truth is) there is only love

Truth is I could paint your fire eyes like a masterpiece

If you just hold still

I could bathe in the light of your sunlit gaze for centuries

And I think I will

And I could love you for a thousand lifetimes

And maybe I have

Truth is (truth is) until we're done here we keep coming back

(we keep coming back)

And I'm tied to your frequency

What is this incredible force (what is this incredible force)

There's no letting go of me

I am indelibly yours

Notes

So the first verse is classic dark night of the soul stuff. This is me actually addressing my feelings for once instead of being all religiously silent and stoic. Letting things come up however uncomfortable they are (how dare you). I would write pages every Sabbath working through my own stuff, questioning everything I believed, working through why I believed it, and just undoing a lot of my own subconscious programming.

Hence the heavy sigh.

The second verse is the beginning of awakening and facing the fact that the reason we experience so much suffering is because we have not healed ourselves.

Do you find yourself being triggered by something in the world?

GO WITHIN.

Find out why it triggers you. It might just be your inner child wanting validation.

Or a crappy belief perpetuated by a political party that keeps you unable to extend love and grace to someone with a different sexual preference than you.

Whatever it is, it is within you. 

When I first started on this journey of actually having spiritual power, I was like- I want to heal this earth! (and I still do)

But my inner voice said, "Yes, but you must first heal yourself."

True story.

And the good news, like- the actual gospel- is that you have the power to overcome whatever is holding you back.

Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Repentance is turning back to God.

To go back to God, you go within.

And the more you heal yourself, the clearer your lens gets, the easier life becomes, and by golly gee whiz I really do think the kingdom of heaven is at hand!

But we must do the internal work if we want the externals to change.

Unfortunately, the majority are so focused on the externals that they perpetuate suffering and separation between God and man and also man from man.

Few are willing to walk the narrow and lonely path, sowing the seeds of love, unity, and peace.

It is much easier to cling to "tried and true" tenets of religions of men instead of figuring out truth for yourself.

I know. 

I was there.

I kind of waited to write about all this until I felt like I had enough experience to speak from, but here we are. 

You can follow that road until it either doesn't make sense anymore (left brain) or it doesn't feel right (right brain) or your soul screams (unity consciousness). 

So the third verse "truth is not what you think"...

This is where the rubber meets the road. 

This is me discarding the crappy beliefs that did me no good.

This is me losing the 20 pounds. 

The is me letting go and just trusting the infinite Divine that everything was going to be okay after I let go of it all.

And it was.

It really, really was.

And it just keeps getting better because I find myself able to understand people more and extend love more easily because I have a higher awareness of the love that literally dwells within me. I don't have to "save" anyone or judge or divide or be preachy or keep fighting the good Christian fight, whatever that means.

No no no. Silly girl.

All you gotta do is love.

I know, I know. It seems too easy.

It's literally all Christ said to do, but Christians wanted to invent their own definition of "love" so that it won't apply to certain groups of people, and it's just not true because love is truth.

Love is the most fundamental basic feeling of man because it comes directly from the Creator. You don't need to say "yeah but TRUTH in love" because love is the highest truth. 

God is love.

Love is all there is.

And this is where I kind of go all cowboy outlaw in the song "Truth is only true to you if it's what you believe" and "no one knows enough" because NONE OF US have that infinite knowledge or wisdom in this finite existence. 

So your interpretation of certain scriptures and how you hold others to that expectation is a reflection of what YOU believe. It cannot be a universal truth that applies across the board to all humanity in all places at all times. That is arrogance in ignorance that you must overcome.

Another. Huge. Nonpharmaceutical. Pill.

Maybe have a glass of water with that one.

And then the last verse is really the "me falling in love with myself" part. The fire eyes are a reference to me being an Aries, and I actually started appreciate the strong, vocal, independent side of myself instead of buying into the weak, codependent, silent woman archetype that I had conditioned myself to believe I had to be in order to be "righteous and pleasing in the sight of the Lord".

What a bunch of baloney.

Be who God created you to be, man. 

I actually began to think I was pretty again after years of being told selfies are vain and egotistical. 

God made me beautiful, umm, so yeah I think I'm going to go ahead and appreciate that.

And then there are some references in my song to reincarnation which 4000% of my audience will chuck vine ripened tomatoes at me for saying, but if you go back to what I wrote about God just using an Allie avatar to have an Allie experience. 

Our souls are all eternal and we are multidimensional beings have temporary human experiences. So when we die here, we just go somewhere else. 

There is no fear in death. 

Life is but a dream. 

You just wake up.

Actually, being born here and wearing the veil of forgetting is the strange part because it's the Infinite consciousness having to leave so much fullness behind just to exist here in this slow, dense, physical realm.

Awake, awake! O sleeper Ephesians 5:14

There are also some deep metaphysical truths in the song Row Row Row Your Boat,

TWS

While You Were Out

 I lost 20 pounds.

Before

143-ish

After

123-ish

Took about 3 months

Things I did:

1. Stopped going to the gym

2. Took more walks

3. Ate more fruit

4. Got happy

The last one is actually the most important one. I had struggled with my weight pretty much the whole year in 2022. Hindsight is really cool because everything is symbolic. Physically, I was struggling with my weight, but spiritually I was struggling with the weight of my beliefs. 

Everything felt so heavy.

In order to lose, I had to let go.

I felt energetically constipated. 

Things were not flowing.

So I booked a trip to Costa Rica.

I started journaling more consistently. 

I began painting. 

Meditating & visualizing what I wanted.

Like, all you have to do to lose weight is do what makes you happy and then listen to your body.

We spend so much of our energy living in resistance to ourselves, forcing ourselves to do what we think we "should" instead of what we really want. 

I thought going to the gym was going to be all fun and cool and badass, and it was for like a week. But it didn't inspire me. It took so much of my energy just to go and while I did build an amazing bum, I honestly can't say it was worth it. 

My body was like, "Can't we do something easier? Walk maybe? Like outside?"

Sure, bae. Sure.

I let go of stupid concepts I had that were just getting in my way such as: calories matter (they don't), and you have to restrict your portion size or the things you want to eat (you don't).

You see, when you're overeating, you're either bored or trying to feed an emotional need. When you restrict yourself, you're making the problem worse because you're going to be even more miserable.

When you turn your attention and just focus on being HAPPY, you naturally don't want excess food. You listen to your body and let your body do what it is designed to do.

You want Cheetos? Go for it. 

Fruit smoothie? The best.

Tacos every day? It can't hurt.

True story. 

I even let go of regular mealtimes. 

Sometimes I ate lunch at 3 in the afternoon because that's when I got hungry. 

Sometimes I would eat late at night which is a huge "no-no" because of metabolism or whatever (another stupid concept to let go of), but I just listened to what I wanted. 

I was able to discern between need and craving. 

I also let go of a timetable. My SMART goal was really just a SMAR goal.

Sure, my February vacation helped me conjure some bikini vibes, but it was really more something to get happy and excited about rather than me force myself to be a certain weight before I left.

When I got back, I lost an additional 7 pounds which was even 2 more than my original goal even though losing the last 5 pounds is supposed to be "one of the hardest things to do". 

Seriously, can we just flush all of these weight loss lies down the loo?

Except in Costa Rica, you can't flush much of anything down the loo, so we'll just put it in the trash can instead. LOL 

This shoreline smells like sunshine and freedom.

Costa Rica is one of the highest vibe places I have ever been to. I learned so much while I was there and it broke so many of my energetic blocks because I was able to just open up and let go. 

So I'm going back there in 11 days to level up even more. 

Pura vida,

TWS

Canvas Tote Bag

 I was painting yesterday and had some major breakthroughs not only in painting, but in life.

Laying the base layer
It's like setting the drum track/metronome

1. We Learn by Expression

"As within, so without" is a universal maxim that basically means what we see on the outside is just a reflection of what is inside of us. There are many applications of this truth, but what occurred to me while painting is that while I am painting the picture, the picture is painting me.

I know that sounds very "In Soviet Russia, road forks you" but hear me out.

As you put ink/paint/pencil to paper, you are expressing something from within yourself. It doesn't matter if you are looking at a photograph trying to replicate it, which is what I was doing here, because just the act of putting art on the outside reflects the style of the artist.

In doing so, we express something on the outside from within ourselves, and then when we stand back to look at it, we can enjoy all the pretty colors, or course correct something if it seems off. The artist must become aware of his or her expression and then tweak it to make sure it reflects what the picture, the truth, the vision that they have for it. 

It's why no one's art looks the same and why no one's life looks the same.

Sketching the important objects

2. We Must Integrate Our Mistakes

This one is very Bob Ross-ish where we don't make mistakes, we make happy accidents.

In my painting, I was going along filling in rocks and some brown paint got on the bottom of my hand. Unknowingly, some of it got on the light blue water and once you put dark on light you can't go back.

You can kinda see what I'm talking about right below the knees

But instead of being like "I must fix this" I was like, "I must integrate this".

When you try to "fix" a mistake, it's a mentality of shame like it should never have happened, so the fix is a cover up, an erasure of what happened.

When you "integrate", you acknowledge the mistake. You look at it. Straight in the face. And then with courage and fortitude you find a solution to make the mistake a part of the bigger picture.

So in this case: accidental dark on light? What if we just change the color of the dark so it works better with the light? 

Yay! We integrated!

The life application here is pretty powerful. Instead of looking at our mistakes with shame and repression, or try to forget and bury terrible things that happened to us, we can look at them head on and integrate those things into our bigger story. For instance, "I had to go there so that I could be here." 

The main character never overcomes if there is nothing to overcome.

Own your mistakes so you can self accept yourself.

3. We Must Forget In Order To Remember

Michelangelo is attributed to saying "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it. I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."

Can we all just hold a moment of silence to appreciate how beautiful that is? I'm working on writing a song about that concept, too.

Filling in the sea foam

In this painting, as I was figuring out how to paint water on rocks, I realized that in order to reveal the light parts, I had to paint the dark around the light by working the background. 

So you don't paint the water on the rocks. You don't paint the clouds in the sky. You paint around the objects that should be there and then it just appears as though it were already there.

The life application is getting to our true nature: all we will ever be or become is already within us. It is just an act of letting go of egoic concepts and identities that reveals who we are at the core. The ego wants to paint white water streaks on the brown rocks without realizing that it is rather the absence of paint that makes the water appear. We must forget things we cling to in order to remember who we are. Get the ego out of the way and the light will naturally shine.

Added depth out to sea which actually
was not a part of the original photograph
#artisticlicense

4. Less is more

Less is always more. In my experience, this concept is paradoxically paramount in art and music.

As a creative person, when I start working on something, there is a tendency to overdo or overwork the project. Sometimes it comes from a place of enthusiasm and excitement ("oooh! I could do this, and then I could put this on this and blend it hear and then add some harmonics...") but other times it comes from a place of trying too hard to make something into something it's just not.

The wisdom here is knowing when enough is enough.

As Mike puts it, "Not all pizza has to be supreme."

I recently recorded a new song called "Soul Scream" which you can listen to for free on the cloud of sound. This song is a great example of less being more because, imho, it sounds great even though I merely used a main lead, beats, and bass. That's only three instrumentals! WHAT?!!?! But it worked so I left it alone.

Similarly with this painting. I could have kept going with ocean swirls and maelstroms but there is a beauty in leaving it light and less complex.

Added rock detail and evened out the
horizon because the earth is flat

The life application is less doing, more flowing. 

Not laziness, but effortlessness. 

Working smarter, not harder. 

Life should be easy and beautiful. It really should be. And it can be if we just let go of everything we think we have to do to make it that way.

5. Bonus: Rehearse Your Life Before It Happens

Before I started working on this painting, I did a practice painting. This was my first time really painting a person, and I know that I struggle with proportions, so before I put paint to canvas, I put it on cheap paper and work out all the kinks. 

Test the colors. Play with lighting. Find out what techniques work for which effect.

Even printers have test pages

The life application is to practice life before it happens. Visualize how you want to be. Mentally put yourself in situations before they occur so you can practice how you would like to respond in them. This is a way to practice becoming more conscious so that you get to choose how your life looks instead of just letting it happen to you.

Don't be a victim of your life. Be the creator of it.

Deep Thoughts by Allie ™ 

My finishing touches include flicking white glitter
eyeshadow on top to make it look all sparkly

Living in a daydream,

TWS

Soul Scream; Allie Harshner

Not So Fast

 Baby cheetahs and Toyota 4runners have the same kind of sad-face energy to me.

Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears.

Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness.

Stuff that looks like other stuff,

TWS

Bigger Than the Whole Sky; Taylor Swift

Paintbrush

This was my first time painting a comic. Usually the medium is crayons or colored pencils, but, man, watercolor painting is just so much fun and doesn't hurt my hands. It also made block 22 look super emo. I did color the hair & skin with colored pencils and tried to do some technique with isopropyl alcohol to blend it, but I guess I didn't have the right type of pencils because nothing really changed. It just made the paper wet for a little bit and smell funny. I didn't go over it in paint again because was afraid it would bleed all crazy, and I didn't have enough perfect love to cast out that fear, so here we have a "mixed medium" piece of work. 

I'm really trying to be better at hands, too. Usually I hide them behind furniture or stuff them in pockets, but this time I really tried. Don't you dare look at them.

I did not intend make the dog look like Clifford in the last panel, but the scanner has some influence, too. 

600 dpi. 

That's what's up.

It's been a while,

TWS

Lane Change

Instead of saying "rambling", we're going to start saying "monologuing".

Like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm rambling monologuing."

Just wanted to let you know.

Go all the way and you do the right and left thru,

TWS

Sage

If pig meat is called 'pork', then what is porcupine meat called?

I mean, the term 'porcupine' is straight up latin for "quill pig".

Looking for food and reasons for injustice

I feel like porcupines were a little late to the internet, and when they got there, they found out that the pigs had taken all the domain names already.

Even the .net and .edu.

pork.edu

Imagine.

And you know how people take ducks and geese

These two appear to be plotting something for sure

And they make down comforters and pillows and other bedding items with their feathers?

Have you considered porcupine pillows? 

Like this, but actually stuffed with porcupine quills.

You could call them quillows.

Or use them as writing utensils.

It is already called a quill for crying out loud.

Just dip the tips of these African bad boys in ink
and watch the calligraphy happen.

I'm just the visionary. The logistics are up to you.

Fins and scales,

TWS

P.S. "Porcupine meat. It even comes with its own toothpicks!" - Mike