Ya'll not ready for this.
Truth is that 100% of my readers are not going to like my song.
They're going to "disagree" or "strongly disagree" with it and not let me around their kids anymore.
And that's okay.
That's really okay.
This song is actually about me self accepting myself and yeeting out of duality consciousness so we're all good here. Only one soul on earth knows that I write from the heart and so it can only be true to that one soul.
That's what makes art and life so beautiful.
All the little perspectives making a mosaic of the human experience.
Some of you may know that for the past year or so I've been going through a spiritual awakening.
I have let go of many, many beliefs and labels, and I have grown so much as a person because of it.
There is a lot more to this story which I will eventually chronicle because it started happening around the time I began journaling again, so I have a nice, full and juicy record I can pull from.
Apparently I'm still a work in progress, so it may be a little while before the first episode.
Until then, I can release this song which is about a major breakthrough I had.
I know Christians mock the whole "self-love" movement because it seems conceited/self-centered and Christians are "supposed to be" focused on others/Christ-centered.
I mean, maybe.
What you're "supposed to be" is all learned doctrine at the end of the day.
You see, the great mystery is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27
And God loves you, so it'd probably be okay to love what God loves.
And if you are to love others as yourself, don't you also kind of have to love yourself?
And I'm telling you guys. I saw the divine within every man.
I was sitting at the Ft Lauderdale airport waiting for the last flight back to Atlanta and everyone looked like God.
I can't explain it. It was a mystical experience.
You can believe me or not. That's completely up to you.
But it changed my life forever because in that moment it became clear to me that just like Christ, I am one with the Father.
The power of God lies within me. I am not separate from the Creator.
I am the Creator wearing a little Allie face put here to do little Allie things.
So that's the big nonpharmaceutical pill that a lot of people won't be able to swallow because they are still in separation consciousness (i.e. God is separate from man) even though Christ came to do away with that.
But that is the truth because it is my truth.
It is what I experienced.
And I know Christians mock the whole "my truth" movement because it seems like an free pass to let everyone do lawlessness.
Truth is you guys all read the same book and have different interpretations of it all anyway to fit your doctrine.
Again, I know from experience.
I was there.
And I got to the end of my rope and turned up a quivering, powerless nincompoop overcome by fear.
Fear of the world, fear of God, and ultimately fear not getting into the kingdom...?
Aye, but the kingdom is within you. Luke 17:21
And you know what casts out fear? Perfect love. 1 John 4:18
Oh, man, that verse saved my life.
Love is the highest truth.
It always comes back to love.
Realizing oneness with the Creator made me aware that I was not one with myself. I had ignored and suppressed and shamed so many parts of myself that were literally made for me to have and feel and enjoy.
Why do Christians hate on feelings so much? Ugh.
Feeling is healing, you guys.
And meditation is medication, so jot that down.
So then who even am I?
Who is the True Allie beneath all the layers of do-gooder doctrine and unlearning that has had to occur?
She is love.
She is just love.
Pure love.
And there is a FREEDOM here, you guys. There is a spiritual sovereignty that occurs. You don't fight your shadows anymore. You treat them like you would comfort a hurt child and accept yourself for just growing up for God's sake. You clear yourself of the guilt and shame that you have been holding over your own head for so long because of some lurking belief you were still holding on to.
Because he came to set the captives FREE.
Oh, and how the ropes hang slack. :)
So this song is about the journey of becoming one with myself as weird as that sounds to say.
And I know some or most or all of you are not there yet and may not ever be in this lifetime. But this is me dissolving layers of masks I have a worn for months, shedding the façade and extra weight of who I am just not anymore.
The cover art is me wanting to be the light, the sun setting happily into the west, but the darkness being the vast deep ocean of unknown being like, "hold up now wait- we're one in this thing. I literally reflect you" and me being all "okay, after I get over myself, I can accept you".
I know it's a little deep, but in Genesis 1:6, the sky was separated from the water right after dark was separated from light, so this is a picture of it all coming back together.
People change, but the soul is eternal.
When you make life changes based on your soul screaming, you know it's not "just a phase".
It's you coming back to truth.
To love.
And now, finally, you can listen to the song here at the cloud of sound.
Interpretation of the lyrics is at the end.
Truth Is
Truth is you're a song I've never sung out loud before
But I've sung within
Truth is I've never been free enough to open that door
And let you in
How dare you
And how rare to think you can show up and ask me to be myself
How dare you
It's not fair you already know things I would never tell
*intentional sigh*
Truth is it's always been you
The sun in my eyes while I've been sleeping
Your name is a bookmark on a page I keep going back to and reading
Oh, you awaken me
When did I forget how to feel
Truth is everything I perceive is wrong
Is something in me I need (I need)
To heal
Truth is not what you think
Because without love nothing would exist or matter
Truth is I'm tied to your frequency
I'm glass only your voice could shatter
And oh, hold me close now
And don't you ever drop me
I'm on a run now to truth to you
And nothing will stop me
Truth is only true to you if it's what you believe
Truth is only what the lens of your eyes can perceive
Truth is (truth is) no one knows enough
Truth is (truth is) there is only love
Truth is I could paint your fire eyes like a masterpiece
If you just hold still
I could bathe in the light of your sunlit gaze for centuries
And I think I will
And I could love you for a thousand lifetimes
And maybe I have
Truth is (truth is) until we're done here we keep coming back
(we keep coming back)
And I'm tied to your frequency
What is this incredible force (what is this incredible force)
There's no letting go of me
I am indelibly yours
Notes
So the first verse is classic dark night of the soul stuff. This is me actually addressing my feelings for once instead of being all religiously silent and stoic. Letting things come up however uncomfortable they are (how dare you). I would write pages every Sabbath working through my own stuff, questioning everything I believed, working through why I believed it, and just undoing a lot of my own subconscious programming.
Hence the heavy sigh.
The second verse is the beginning of awakening and facing the fact that the reason we experience so much suffering is because we have not healed ourselves.
Do you find yourself being triggered by something in the world?
GO WITHIN.
Find out why it triggers you. It might just be your inner child wanting validation.
Or a crappy belief perpetuated by a political party that keeps you unable to extend love and grace to someone with a different sexual preference than you.
Whatever it is, it is within you.
When I first started on this journey of actually having spiritual power, I was like- I want to heal this earth! (and I still do)
But my inner voice said, "Yes, but you must first heal yourself."
True story.
And the good news, like- the actual gospel- is that you have the power to overcome whatever is holding you back.
Christ in you, the hope of glory.
Repentance is turning back to God.
To go back to God, you go within.
And the more you heal yourself, the clearer your lens gets, the easier life becomes, and by golly gee whiz I really do think the kingdom of heaven is at hand!
But we must do the internal work if we want the externals to change.
Unfortunately, the majority are so focused on the externals that they perpetuate suffering and separation between God and man and also man from man.
Few are willing to walk the narrow and lonely path, sowing the seeds of love, unity, and peace.
It is much easier to cling to "tried and true" tenets of religions of men instead of figuring out truth for yourself.
I know.
I was there.
I kind of waited to write about all this until I felt like I had enough experience to speak from, but here we are.
You can follow that road until it either doesn't make sense anymore (left brain) or it doesn't feel right (right brain) or your soul screams (unity consciousness).
So the third verse "truth is not what you think"...
This is where the rubber meets the road.
This is me discarding the crappy beliefs that did me no good.
This is me losing the 20 pounds.
The is me letting go and just trusting the infinite Divine that everything was going to be okay after I let go of it all.
And it was.
It really, really was.
And it just keeps getting better because I find myself able to understand people more and extend love more easily because I have a higher awareness of the love that literally dwells within me. I don't have to "save" anyone or judge or divide or be preachy or keep fighting the good Christian fight, whatever that means.
No no no. Silly girl.
All you gotta do is love.
I know, I know. It seems too easy.
It's literally all Christ said to do, but Christians wanted to invent their own definition of "love" so that it won't apply to certain groups of people, and it's just not true because love is truth.
Love is the most fundamental basic feeling of man because it comes directly from the Creator. You don't need to say "yeah but TRUTH in love" because love is the highest truth.
God is love.
Love is all there is.
And this is where I kind of go all cowboy outlaw in the song "Truth is only true to you if it's what you believe" and "no one knows enough" because NONE OF US have that infinite knowledge or wisdom in this finite existence.
So your interpretation of certain scriptures and how you hold others to that expectation is a reflection of what YOU believe. It cannot be a universal truth that applies across the board to all humanity in all places at all times. That is arrogance in ignorance that you must overcome.
Another. Huge. Nonpharmaceutical. Pill.
Maybe have a glass of water with that one.
And then the last verse is really the "me falling in love with myself" part. The fire eyes are a reference to me being an Aries, and I actually started appreciate the strong, vocal, independent side of myself instead of buying into the weak, codependent, silent woman archetype that I had conditioned myself to believe I had to be in order to be "righteous and pleasing in the sight of the Lord".
What a bunch of baloney.
Be who God created you to be, man.
I actually began to think I was pretty again after years of being told selfies are vain and egotistical.
God made me beautiful, umm, so yeah I think I'm going to go ahead and appreciate that.
And then there are some references in my song to reincarnation which 4000% of my audience will chuck vine ripened tomatoes at me for saying, but if you go back to what I wrote about God just using an Allie avatar to have an Allie experience.
Our souls are all eternal and we are multidimensional beings have temporary human experiences. So when we die here, we just go somewhere else.
There is no fear in death.
Life is but a dream.
You just wake up.
Actually, being born here and wearing the veil of forgetting is the strange part because it's the Infinite consciousness having to leave so much fullness behind just to exist here in this slow, dense, physical realm.
Awake, awake! O sleeper Ephesians 5:14
There are also some deep metaphysical truths in the song Row Row Row Your Boat,
TWS
