Friday, April 17, 2026

Nothing To Do About Anything

Sometimes you have to be honest and not be the morning person you know you're not.
What are you trying to do, impress the dawn?

I wish people would say "mark my words" more in everyday conversation so that I could respond with "consider them marked" in a Norrington accent.

Consider them maaahcked.

And somehow "at your earliest convenience" still means ASAP to me. 
It still feels rushed.
As though I'm sitting around with all this convenience and you're still attempting to claim it. 
My earliest one.
How dare you.

The other day, I had some taco shells in the oven and they were counting down to the last minute. I took that opportunity to put my beans in the microwave and synchronize the timers so that the oven and the microwave would go off at the same time, singing with their cacophony of beeping voices like some weird kitchen choir announcing that my food is finished.

There was much rejoicing, but Mike was all, "Why would you do this to me?"

Also, in attempting to complete a Sackboy stage without getting hit or dying, we discovered a life hack to achieving perfection:

Invoke the rite of test run!

When you tell yourself it's just for practice, or it's a test run for science like there's nothing riding on it, somehow your mind lowers all of your resistances to achieving it so that the end result is exactly what you want.

And yes, I realize this is the same thing as "letting go".
Although it's been said, many times, many ways...

I just put a song subliminally in your head.

I wonder if we leave a little magic on our clothes when we wear them and don't immediately throw them into the wash.
I'm not advocating for dirty laundry; I'm just saying if things aren't actually gross or sweaty, then why not linger in it for bit longer?
Sometimes I'll even hang back clothes in the closet so they can tell all their friends about what a great time they just had going out.
Let the good vibes multiply in the darkness.
I put on a hoodie and it just smelled so GOOD. 
Like a worn, warm, comfortable lived-in smell, not overcome by detergent or fabric softener perfumes.
I think I'm achieving my "always smell good" life goal.
The key is awareness.

And also smell tests.

Turns out you live longer by living more slowly.

Putting myself through mystery school,
TWS

Monday, April 13, 2026

Ekspedisjon Is How You Say It In Norwegian

Back in high school, I was the co-creator of an amazing group of friends called the Summer Fun Club where we would hold get togethers at different locations and do fun teenagery things like watch Lost, learn how to waltz, or have dinner together. 

Looking back, it was actually an extremely cool thing to do, and I want to get back into the spirit of Summer! Fun! Club!

So I'm starting a book club. So far, it's just me, but I'll let the books bring the dicey excitement. My plan is to write "book reports" on this here blog so that you can see the variety that my super brainy book club is expanding their minds with. 

Again, it's just me for now, but you're welcome to join along if you feel so inspired.

Nearly three years ago, I found out about Kon-Tiki from a crossword puzzle. Recently, I decided to rewatch the movie and then read the book, which unsurprisingly has a ton more detail in it.

Not only is there a documentary made on the actual journey that won an Academy Award in 1951, but you can watch the adaptation version on Tubi for free. 


The cover will have you believe it's some magical love story but make no mistake. The real plot is about this little crab:

His name is Johannes.

If you've seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about.

If you haven't seen it, I highly highly highly recommend carving 96 minutes out of your day and doing so. That way, I don't have to explain the plot of the story to you which is how six dudes built a raft and sailed from Peru to French Polynesia to prove the anthropological origins came from South America and not East Asia as was postulated during that time.

The movie mainly focuses on the wet part of the expedition, but the book talks a lot more about the theory and logistics that led up to it. If I'm being honest, that part was a little stressful for me because I had so many questions because I live in a world that is like eighty years and a few cultures removed.

First off: communications! Just in my own limited experience in other countries, I do not know how a feat such as this was accomplished with all the different languages involved. Not only in building the raft and coordinating supplies, but also how technology worked back then, like telegrams, or how transportation was purchased and arranged. Even when they're on the raft, they're cranking the generator to get the radio to work and then sending out morse code messages and I'm just like how did that work in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in the 1940s!?!?!?

Secondly, how was everything afforded? How much did the plane tickets cost back then? I honestly don't know how he was able to afford and coordinate everything between the countries (Norway, the US, Peru, Ecuador) especially since no one wanted to fund his expedition because they all thought it was a suicide mission. And then to do it all on a time crunch to avoid hurricane season? It felt like a whole adventure had happened before the adventure.

Thirdly, they got a flat tire in the Ecuador jungle. While Thor and Herman sail down the river with the balsa logs, I'm still stuck wondering what happened to their guide. It's not like he can just call a triple A and get a tow down the mountains or hop right on down to the auto parts store. How did he get out of that bind?

Reading a book like this was not only the sea adventure but also a time travelling experience to when things were just, like, way, way different. Thor has a great writing style with plenty of detail so you can immerse yourself in the terrain that he describes, and I'm SO glad that he documented it as well as he did. The version of the book I got has pictures so you can follow along with each step of the journey. It's a little amusing because it's all in black and white and his caption for one of the photos is "The sun sinks into the Pacific with a brilliant display of colors."

So like any good book, it makes you use your imagination!

A few other things I absolutely adore about this adventure:

Dude committed to authenticity.

In order to prove the thesis of French Polynesia first being settled by South Americans from the east, they not only had to go by raft, but also build the raft with the same kind of materials that would have been used during that time. This meant that no modern materials were allowed to be used in its construction, not even for safety.

It was such a boss move in the movie when Thor throws Herman's wire out to the sharks.
Herman did not understand the assignment. 

Turns out that it was better that they stuck with the original design because wire ropes would have sawed the wet logs over time and disintegrated the raft instead of resting softly on them for the whole trip. They literally saved their lives by doing it just like the ancients did and ignoring the hubris of all the guys at the quay who said they wouldn't make it.

They navigated with nature.

That's the only way to do it, I suppose, but by using the natural currents as a highway system that would effortlessly carry them along away, it's so impressive that all they needed was a sail and a steering oar. No motors. No need for speed. Just a few months and they got there. 

I also loved learning how the Polynesians navigate by the stars, and I actually looked more into this after reading that part in the book. They have names for like 150 different stars and then to navigate around the little islands or go a certain direction, they know the path by following a certain sequence of the stars. 

There's a line near the end of the movie with all the headlines coming out, something along the lines of "They survived! Man against nature!"

And I'm like, no, it was man with nature that allowed it to go as smooth as it did.

They encountered wildlife in a whole new way.

I loved reading about the parrot, the crabs, the dolphins, the sharks, the whales, the stupid looking whale shark, the flying fish, etc. It was a magical menagerie, and I think the movie does a great job showing a lot of this. What they don't show you is that when they cut open the shark's stomach, there are a lot of cuttlefish in there and how spooky similar a parrot beak and an octopus beak are. 

Mildly terrifying

Now I don't have a rating system for books because I believe anything written by an actual human that makes it to print has merit all on its own.

The only two questions to be answered in my book report are:

1. Would my mom like it?

While there's no romance in a typical human love sense, there is certainly a romantic feel to the majesty of the nature they encountered, and you can revel in the Tahitian paradise when they arrived. It really does transport you to another world, and I personally enjoyed casting my mind into the Pacific while eating lunch. There are several humorous points with just the cast of characters that were daft enough to do this thing together. I would say that if ye like Pirates of the Caribbean and like to learn in a whimsical way, then ye also would like to read this book.

2.  Do I keep the book because I would definitely read again (or lend it to an inspired book club member), or do I sell it back for cash?


This one's a keeper,
TWS

Friday, March 6, 2026

While the Paint Dries

That's right. 

Not only am I The Whimsical Scribbler, but a painter as well. 
It's paint-by-number, though: the most accountant-like way you could paint.

But while the paint dries, I thought I'd write about three random memories I had today:

Virtual Makeover

One summer in the early 2000s, my mom got this CD-ROM of a computer program: a virtual makeover. Essentially, you upload a plain photo of yourself with this software and proceed to experiment with all types of makeup and hairstyles on your uploaded face to see which one inspires you to go do it in real life.

I remember my mom, my sisters, and me all changing into white t-shirts and taking pictures of each other on the back porch with the white brick background. The instructions said to "not smile" because, of course, there needed to be enough lip for the program to turn them pink or purple or whatever.

My mom called it a "mug shot" because at the ripe old age of ten I had already developed a severe case of RBF. I was so excited to try out new makeup - virtually - but by the picture, you'd never know it.

Oh, how the corners of my eyes and lips frowned! Trying to look "normal" just so I'd have a face to work with. My youth! Gone in an instant with a relaxed frown and the clickety drag of a digital camera.

I don't remember much about actually using the program because I had to share it with three other people. Besides, I was at an age where I was already glued my own mirror above my dresser, experimenting with all the lip gloss and makeup I had access to.

My advice for photos that demand a straight face (government IDs, passport photos, etc.): 

Look as though you're about to drop some serious lore into someone's life: a great secret, a timely quip, a fitting joke, a great line of wit...
Hold that in mind and look like you're about to tell it to the camera. You will look engaged, energized, relaxed, and like your experience at a government office was actually a pleasant one. 

Or, at least, a very neutral one.

The Voicemail Message

During elementary school, I wanted to skip grades so badly. Even though I had straight A's, was in that weird honors FOCUS group, and did workbooks for fun, my parents never bugged the school about moving me up ahead of schedule. Something about needing to "socialize" and make friends "in my own age group" even though I was reading my first grade stories to the upper levels. Whatever. 

But when I got to college, FINALLY. I could take 21 hours a semester and SKIP! GRADES!

What this ended up looking like was a highly motivated sophomore/junior going to mock interviews with some partners of the accounting firm I was quite sure I wanted to move back home and work for.

The guidance counselor at that time was making phone calls, letting us know when our mock interview was to be. Because I was such a highly motivated college student doing all the things*, she had to leave a voicemail.

*I also despise answering and talking on phones. Could have also been that.

So it went to voicemail, which at the time went something like, "Hi, you've reached Allie. You know what to do." BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

The message I heard later told me my scheduled mock interview time with a stern reminder that employers would be using this number and to make sure to keep a professional voicemail message.

Ok, but, like, any "employer" who doesn't appreciate my brevity for business and sense of humor has no business being my employer.

I shouldn't have to change my personality (and/or voicemail message) to make wage.

True story.

My First Week

Thankfully, I was able to swan dive out of public accounting into a beautiful career at Gulfstream Aerospace just a few years later. 

The first week at corporate was like meeting a bunch of people and not knowing what anyone meant to you.

For one, I had just gotten married the week before and though I was "Allison Jansen" at orientation and  filled out all the paperwork on my honeymoon, I was now "Allison Harshner" and had to go through the whole name change process and email aliases right off the bat. Many of my introductions included a clause for congratulations as we both got used to this new name/identity thing.

For two, they had all these cool, extra corporate events that you never got at boutique accounting firm. In my first week, I got to go to a park for a "lean event" at Tom Triplett Park to celebrate some achievement that the whole accounting department had done the quarter before I ever was or even knew I'd be a part of it. 

They even catered barbecue.

And then I found myself in a three-legged race, tied to the controller of financial reporting, while she confessed to me that she hadn't shaved her legs that day and wasn't entirely ready for this. 

Well, Kim, neither was I.

[We did not win the three-legged race, though probably not due to excess leg hair.]

Carefully removing the roasted turkey breast from the netting like I'm plucking harp strings,
TWS

Thursday, February 26, 2026

Sunday, February 15, 2026

Audience of One

 Sometimes I think about this guy riding a unicycle at sunset on the beach.

It was cold in January.

He inspires me to stay whimsical.

Make art out of life.

Make life art.

Paint by number,
TWS

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

What's New

I don't want to know how many M&Ms are in a 16.9 ounce bag because then I am just two calculations away from determining the cost of a handful, and I don't need that kind of math weighing on my conscience.

A conversation on the way out of Aldi where I purchased $3.97 wine, so the only attendant working at a very busy Aldi has to come from her register, check my ID, and insert her key just so I can pay for it:

Mike: What if humans were like trees...
Me: Ok, I like where this is going.
Mike: And your fingerprint had like - just as trees have rings for age - some kind of marker to indicate age so that you could just scan your hand to buy alcohol
Me: Hmm... (thinking of nonintrusive ways to get biological information from a body...hair, maybe, or a teeth scan?)
Mike: Or, you know, just get the mark of the beast and scan your forehead.
Me: Oh no...
Mike: So you can drink the devil's juice with the devil.
Me: But he would like that.

We've been watching Prehistoric Planet on Apple TV, (oh, sorry, 🍎TV, but it has become Olivia's favorite show. 

"I want to watch dinosaurs!"

The Ornithomimus' bursts of speed
just give them the edge.

It's been really educational for her.

Even though mosasaurs aren't dinosaurs,
TWS

Tuesday, December 2, 2025

Legend Has It

Every book is a mystery book until you read it.

Genre-lly speaking,
TWS