Microsoft commercial: "The Xbox One is the best thing to ever happen to mankind."
Me: Well, that's presumptuous.
Mike: Yeah. I thought it was Jesus.
*fist bump*
Remember that time I had a quote book?,
TWS
Monday, March 31, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
El Paso
Your body, un-buried, used to stand up off of this
But now the bermuda grass became your sarcophagus
And that was the last road you crossed, the feat colossal
Now you're on your way to becoming a fossil
Oh, armadillo
These were lyrics I wrote in a song called "Armadillo" which was about this one time I was walking back from class in college, and I saw this armadillo shell by the side of the road. Upon closer observation, it had been hit by a car and ambled into the back of someone's yard to die.
Every day, I would pass by the same place and notice the daily decomposition. Soon, it was pretty much a shell that was slowly sinking into the ground.
It smelled for like a week.
And I used to write song lyrics.
It's remarkable how much I lack inspiration these days.
Are you sure that you're a mammal, 'cause you really look like a reptile,
TWS
But now the bermuda grass became your sarcophagus
And that was the last road you crossed, the feat colossal
Now you're on your way to becoming a fossil
Oh, armadillo
These were lyrics I wrote in a song called "Armadillo" which was about this one time I was walking back from class in college, and I saw this armadillo shell by the side of the road. Upon closer observation, it had been hit by a car and ambled into the back of someone's yard to die.
Every day, I would pass by the same place and notice the daily decomposition. Soon, it was pretty much a shell that was slowly sinking into the ground.
It smelled for like a week.
And I used to write song lyrics.
It's remarkable how much I lack inspiration these days.
Are you sure that you're a mammal, 'cause you really look like a reptile,
TWS
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
What I Do to Prevent Yelling
I say "sure" when people want me to say yes, but when I really mean "not really".
Them: "Wasn't that easier on the phone than it was writing it all in an e-mail?"
Me: "Sure."
It's not so much lying as it is just avoiding conflict.
Introvert 4 lyfe,
TWS
Them: "Wasn't that easier on the phone than it was writing it all in an e-mail?"
Me: "Sure."
It's not so much lying as it is just avoiding conflict.
Introvert 4 lyfe,
TWS
Sunday, March 9, 2014
For Lack of a Better Blog
I guess what I meant by "future Allie and future Mike" was one day later.
Because while I had all the good intentions of the last post being a true story, we promptly went down the front office to revoke our Notice to Vacate only to be informed that our apartment has already been leased for the next tenant.
The irony.
It is not lost on me.
So we're buying a house. A beautiful house. And that's that.
Mike and I play this dumb game that's not even a game.
We have this rule: whoever is the last one in bed has to turn off the light.
And it's not a terrible thing to have to be the one to turn off the light, but then you have to find your way in the dark, and it's just so much better to be the first one in bed.
So the other night, I got all my s done before bed, but Mike was still setting his alarm. I scampered over to the bed, and did this stupid little hop.
"NO!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!" Mike said as he realized he would be the one to turn out the light. So he chased me and I flipped around and scurried toward the opposite edge of the bed.
The thing about that edge of the bed, though, is that there's a wall.
So I hit my knee REALLY hard against the wall and skinned my knee and there may or may not be paint missing.
And all week since Tuesday, I've been dealing with a skinned knee. It looks like a cigarette burn.
Don't kids skin their knees a lot because they fall down or whatever? How do they deal with this pain? I don't remember it hurting so much when I was younger.
"I'm the same as I was when I was six years old."
-Neverending Math Equation; Sun Kil Moon
(And, yes, I know Modest Mouse wrote the original, but Sun Kil Moon sings it so much better.)
Where do you move when what you're moving from is yourself,
TWS
Because while I had all the good intentions of the last post being a true story, we promptly went down the front office to revoke our Notice to Vacate only to be informed that our apartment has already been leased for the next tenant.
The irony.
It is not lost on me.
So we're buying a house. A beautiful house. And that's that.
Mike and I play this dumb game that's not even a game.
We have this rule: whoever is the last one in bed has to turn off the light.
And it's not a terrible thing to have to be the one to turn off the light, but then you have to find your way in the dark, and it's just so much better to be the first one in bed.
So the other night, I got all my s done before bed, but Mike was still setting his alarm. I scampered over to the bed, and did this stupid little hop.
"NO!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!" Mike said as he realized he would be the one to turn out the light. So he chased me and I flipped around and scurried toward the opposite edge of the bed.
The thing about that edge of the bed, though, is that there's a wall.
So I hit my knee REALLY hard against the wall and skinned my knee and there may or may not be paint missing.
And all week since Tuesday, I've been dealing with a skinned knee. It looks like a cigarette burn.
Don't kids skin their knees a lot because they fall down or whatever? How do they deal with this pain? I don't remember it hurting so much when I was younger.
"I'm the same as I was when I was six years old."
-Neverending Math Equation; Sun Kil Moon
(And, yes, I know Modest Mouse wrote the original, but Sun Kil Moon sings it so much better.)
Where do you move when what you're moving from is yourself,
TWS
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