Creamy Salsa

This is not a recipe. 

This is a dissertation outlining the platform upon which the latest presidential candidate, Mike Harshner, will be running.

With the extreme polarity in the current political climate along with the collective consciousness' addiction to duality, we could all use a candidate that doesn't focus on any of the primary, divisive issues. 

In short, here is his three-part plan:

1. Trains

2. Ducks

3. Roundabouts

The first accountant ever, and I mean ever, in office

Here are the details:

Trains - Make America Connected Again!

During his first 100 days of office, President Harshner pledges to revitalize the infrastructure of the train systems in North America to 19th century proportions with enormous economic opportunities for all communities across the country.

That's right- the biggest part of his political platform includes...more platforms!

Subways and metros are no longer just for big cities. 

We're going to get the entire country back on track.

With this massive transportation upgrade bill, funds from useless programs like NASA, any DOD war machine building, and most of the budget for homeland security will be redirected to this program that will actually benefit its citizens. 

Also, instead of using slaves and immigrants like last time, meeyins and meeyins of jobs will be created (with training provided) to build more interconnecting railroads so that one never has to drive through Atlanta or Chicago traffic again! 

Unless one wants to. 

This is America, after all. 

You will still be free to sit in traffic behind large trucks, if you so choo-choo-choose.

Additionally, we'll finally be able to use the secret electromagnetic technology from the Area 51 UFOs to ensure the cost to run such a railroad is minimal and efficient, so tickets to and from wherever will be much cheaper than any other transportation alternative.

This low-cost transportation incentive will increase America's tourism industry while bringing awareness and connectedness to all cultures across the country. 

Isn't that the most American thing you've ever heard?

Freedom to explore the melting pot? YES!

In addition to major railroad overhauls, smaller grants will be given to small, local communities who wish to turn their railroad depots into recreational centers with trains that have cars with special features:

1. a cinema car

2. a snack car

3. Escape Room car

4. an art car

5. a bowling car (hover technology pending)

Just like community gardens, people in small towns everywhere can band together to design and implement creative car ideas to draw patrons to their village. The train depot will be a cool place to hang out and travel on for locals and wayfarers alike.

(This is like that time they tried to make the post office profitable by selling coffee, but it will actually work because trains are cool, unlike smelly packages.)

Restoring and expanding upon the railroad system that already exists is also a massive step forward for the environment as far as emissions go. It will derail any climate change concerns because it's far more effective than offering dumb tax credits for buying some hideous electric Tesla.

If you think this project is too big to take on and would never work in a country the size of America, may I remind you of the little engine that could?

He thought he could, so he did!

Seriously, this idea is so good, it's already left the station.

Ducks - Duck Lives Matter!

When conducting foreign relations in Canada this summer, president-elect Harshner went to Bells Park and was pleased with the correct amount of ducks at this lake.

There were ducks, ducks everywhere

During his presidency, POTUS will institute a duck quota at all bodies of still, fresh water like ponds and lakes that would require each to have an appropriate amount of ducks verified by the National Park Service. 

Example of correct duck quota

This will not only provide natural sustainability to existing ecological systems, but also encourage improvement of mental health everywhere because you can't look at a resting duck and remain upset for very long.

So inspiration, much wow

Less stress for citizens means fewer health care costs overall which would trickle down and eliminate any creepy government contracts with Pfizer.

Duck lives matter because people lives matter. Mr. Harshner promotes peace and sustainability, and what better representation than a precious floating animal upon the serene waters all over the country?

Roundabouts - 4 Way Stops Must Yield to Roundabouts!

While the railroad system is being put into locomotion, the commander in chief will lose no steam in converting all four-way stops to roundabouts. This will be a minor cost with massive improvement for those that still wish to drive, increasing traffic fluidity and safety by still requiring vehicles to slow down to make turns.

Since this is a federal initiative, to maintain one's driver's license, there will be a one-time, required, free, 30-minute educational course about roundabouts and how they work. 

That way, we'll all be on the same page when they're implemented and no one will be waving us on like an idiot when it's their turn.

I'm talking specifically at the intersection of Margie Drive and Osigian Blvd. 

That one is first on the list to be turned into a roundabout.

And there will be MUCH rejoicing.

So how does one vote for the next chief of state?

What party is he running for? 

Well, that's obvious: The Mario Party.

Imagine going to a rally where this is your leader

If you would like to donate to his campaign, use Cashapp $ducklivesmatter.

Other than that, I don't know how you vote for someone so awesome. 

Write his name in? 

Though, unfortunately, he doesn't meet the age requirement or have any political experience, but he is very likeable and doesn't even have a felony on his record, so those are two things that set him apart.

After his initial 100 days in office, there are other initiatives in the pipeline:

1. Conversion of 3-way stops to roundabouts

2. Legislation to require ceiling fans in hotel rooms

3. Removal of Gainesville, GA, physically and systemically (grants and subsidies provided for rehousing and businesses)

4. Carrier pigeon training programs to replace USPS

"I'm Mike Harshner, and I approve this message."

-Mike Harshner, 2024

Lots to be excited about.

Conducting the future,

TWS

Haiku: The Puzzle

Life is a crossword
Except that the more you write
The more it expands

The more you know,
TWS

Sturgeon

It's becoming quite clear to me that I may be the Kilgore Trout of this generation. 

An author of a blog, among other things, that is so remarkably unsuccessful by its zany ideas, verifiable anecdotes, and longstanding single digit readership.

And yet here you are. 

You just keep coming back. 

So in light of keeping things nice and crazy over here, can I just postulate something that could get me fired from my job even if I had one?

Did history really happen, or are we all just kind of here...now?

Ok, now hang with me and don't get mad.

Or go ahead and get mad. I don't care.

But check yourself.

I've been thinking for some time that maybe history is just a story we all agree on.

They get us in elementary school. And I've thought back: what is the purpose of history class?

You have the philosophical reason posted up on a number of professor's doors of "those who don't know history are condemned to repeat it".

Which, by the way

I mean, pump the freakin' brakes.

If you know history (by the books), but aren't able to apply a new way of thinking in your own life or understand different perspectives, then on a macro and microcosmic scale, it is karmic pattern that does get repeated, but in a new way, in a different generation. 

Earth is school.

We're all just here, learning our lessons.

Don't get all moody trying to condemn high schoolers into studying for midterms.

And then what's with the whole pledge of allegiance?  I don't care if it's "under God" or omitted: pledging allegiance to something external to you when you are that young and impressionable is just plain creepy.

Goshhhhhhhhhh my fifth grade self was so cool. She saw so much. She knew so much. 

I think it's more of the system of the matrix shaping an identity for you and we just let it happen. 

Consider...

The Tree of Life, concealed in a handsome meatsuit

with a  malleable mind, a suggestible ego

and relying on animal survival tendencies 

To grow, it's gotta have roots. 

Real nice, plump, juicy, and often racist roots. 

[programming]

So if you think you know where you come from and identify with it, then, boom! 

Search is over!

You know who you are! 

Congratulations, you mortarboard-wearing stripling!  

You have now earned your face because you learned some stuff about it that we told you was true!

Continuing wearing your newly informed face as long as you like!

Oh, and here's...paper, to prove it, I guess.

But what if you learned about a different face? Would you then hold that identity?

Or what if you learned about a *gasp* different side to the *sharper gasp* SAME STORY?

Would you now be two faced?

Or just informed?

Experiencing cognitive dissonance?

What would you believe?

How do you know what is "true"?

Somewhere up the chain you are still believing on the authority of someone if you didn't personally experience it and believe it.

 All the "evidence" in the world still asks you to believe in its existence.

And even then you have the results from the Double-Slit Experiment to consider, but this post is about history and not science (or PSY-ience) so we're gonna go ahead and move along even though I think they have more overlap than what I'm letting on here.

I venture to say that learning about history shapes us only so far as we attach to it. 

How much history matters only to the extent we accept it into ourselves as relevant belief.

Because the truth is that you are brand new every moment.

Every present moment you are free to choose who you are being.

That's supposed to be America, by the way. 

"Freedom" etc etc 

But all your country's songs talk about how freedom ain't free because of the cawst, and so you just live in that reality of thinking that war is righteous and necessary instead of realizing that no, you are an eternal spirit cast in a physical body, and everyone is actually free to be who they are, and if you're not cool with that, you have attached to an identity rooted somewhere in some belief or history that may not actually reflect that truth.

The truth does set you free, after all.

 #truestory

Attaching to an identity robs you of the true freedom of experiencing things anew.

You can be defined by your past. Or any past. 

You can be identified with your roots so far back as you want to be. 

You can be patriotic as hell and the only person it will mean anything to is you.

You get to choose your identity. You're always doing it anyway. You just keep choosing the past because it's all you think you know.

But I want to live like the kid who just went to the best birthday party ever, like: 

...and then there was this WATER SLIDE and then we did MAKEUP and then we had CAKE and my best friend made me LAUGH and then we went in the POOL...

Just be so extra about living it up here and now. 

Because I don't live in history.

I live in a true story.

One that is true.

To me.

Gloryhog09,
TWS

Here It Is

Instructions for reading:

1. Click the upper right square to expand because I learned how to embed a PDF into HTML text today.

2. With all the whimsical respect for Dr. Seuss poetry, please, read this one aloud.

Even better in person,

TWS

Notice

Almost every morning, I roll out my yoga mat porch for stretching. 

Before I can even bring my coffee to the same place, it gets commandeered by all these cats.

All both of them.

Babycakes

Coop'n Doop

That's why my yoga mat is all pockmarked with little kitty claw marks and I won't be bothered to buy another one because they will just keep doing it. 

They can't help it.

So today I started wondering if cats, on another level than just being cuddly bums, are really energy recyclers, or rather, energy up-cyclers. Changing lower frequencies into higher ones by absorbing, transmuting, and purring.

working hard by hardly working

We already know that these mysterious creatures lay around all day and do dark, murderous deeds in the night, but what if they are actually doing a very important energetic work and thereby supporting and protecting humans in this way?

Think about it: just like the mantis shrimp can see other colors and frequencies that we are not attuned to, perhaps carnivorous kitties can see lower ones.

According to the law of conservation, energy cannot be created or destroyed, so I'm just wondering if there are fragments of energy just hanging around that we don't even think or know about where cats come in and take care of it.

Because cats also dream, right? That means their consciousness can leave their body.

The tongue out is the universal "I've gone to another dimension" sign.

So what if they absorb all this extraneous energy into their bodies by sitting in certain places and then cleanse it in some higher realm while they are asleep/not really here.

like what shape even is this

Or, if they can transmute lower energies, can they also bring in higher energies?

blessing ur luggage

blessing ur box

blessing ur bath

I'm just saying there's got to be a higher purpose for these animals. They have way too much power and personality.

Copy Cat: ensuring all your printing goes right!

And you guys already know my thoughts on how printers could be sentient beings.

I just think the housecat is a very interesting ecosystem development. In an age where in-house rodents are really not all that common, they still provide energetic value in ways our eyes cannot perceive. The body heat is just a biproduct of the real stuff they're up to.

blessing ur face

It can all be good,

TWS