Turning Away Customers

Sarah comes back from Kenya today.

"Really?"

Ken-YEAH!

Actually, she's already not in Kenya. She had a layover in Amsterdam. And we all know what that means.

...

That's right: WINDMILLS.

But I actually am looking forward to seeing her. Apparently something happened in Dubai that "would really freak Mum out", so I'm looking forward to that story. My vote is that it was one of the following:

a. Airport security

b. Terrorist threat

c. Plane crash

d. B and C

e. None of the above

(see, if you pick E, you can be right no matter WHAT it is!)

Story: Phone In the Dressing Room

Mum and I went shopping, and we were going to the dressing room, and her obnoxious phone started ringing. Later, she's like, "It sounded so far away, I didn't think it was mine!" That is because she may be going deaf. So after annoying all the people in the dressing room (or at least I get bugged when someone's cell phone goes on and on and on and on, but I'm actually that way about phones in general) she takes it out of her purse and opens it, while squeezing the sides in excitement:

There are two types of people in the world:

1. Those who answer the phone to get it to stop ringing

2. Those who answer the phone to talk to whoever is on the other side

I am the former. Mum, the latter. So, all hyped up about who it is on the phone, she's gripping the phone like a boa constrictor, ne'er to let go, and answers it with a loud, HELLO!?!?!?

In the dressing room.

And since she gripped the phone in such an extreme desperate excited arthritic manner, she accidentally pushed the speak phone button.

And it's my sister in Nairobi, so you know they're going to talk forever. And you know how when you have your iPod/less-stupid MP3 player in, and it's turned up kind of loud, and someone asks you a question, and you answer them REALLY LOUD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HEAR YOURSELF OVER THE LOUD MUSIC? That's how this conversation was because it was on speaker phone.

In the dressing room.

So from this little stall, you hear, "HEY WOO! WHERE ARE YOU? UNCLE DAL IS COMING IN THURSDAY BUT IT'S ONLY GOING TO BE FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES. GET THIS: WE'RE IN THE DRESSING ROOM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH! MY PHONE STARTED RINGING AND I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm not kidding. This is what she actually said/yelled to my sister/audience in the dressing room.

So I fling open my door because this is just ridiculous, and I reach for the phone to undo the speaker phone. But you know how you have to hold down a button for it to actually take action? She thought by just me pushing it, it would do. So, naturally, it didn't turn off, but Mum thinks it did, and keeps talking with exorbitant volume.

In the dressing room.

I gave up at this point, tried on my stuff, it was all too short, and I leave the dressing room.

Later Mum's like, "I could barely hear her- it's like it wasn't coming out of the ear piece."

Um, maybe that's because SPEAKER PHONE DOESN'T COME OUT OF THE EAR PIECE????

Some people are flat out technology-retarded. Like when my grandparents had their accident in South Carolina, my grandmother had to have the police officer show her how to use her cell phone.

IT'S LIKE A REGULAR PHONE.

I don't get it, and apparently, neither do they.

Furthermore, people should only be able to utilize the things/technologies they understand.

Which brings me to my next point:

Now that I believe in the stock market, I'm going to start investing in it. However, I'm reading up on all my options from an investing book I bought at a thrift store for 50 cents. I hope the book was a good investment. Hbarf.

That's like we were playing Shang-Hai Rummy the other night, and Cleve had used up his two buys, and then someone discarded a card he really wanted, so he was upset that he couldn't buy it, and I was like, "Hey- let bygones be bygones. Like- literally, BUY-gones. Your buys are gone. Bygones. Yeah."

Last night, I had a dream Cleve and I broke up. And it's like we knew we were going to get back together, so we were both in high spirits about it. I forgot what we broke up about (or maybe I never knew). You know how dreams are. Or at least you know how my dreams are.

Did you feel like your thoughts were semantic

While you were in the middle of the Atlantic,

T.T.

Peter

I bought my mum a laundry basket for Christmas. It's really big. And covered in newspaper. Well, until tonight. For a couple years now, we've done the tradition of opening all presents Christmas Eve after church. It helps everyone sleep a little better. Even Santa.

And to make it not so conspicuous, I had to move something else large out of my room, that being Errol Flynn. He's out in the workshop, not because he's broken, but because I'm FINALLY GOING TO RECORD MY MUSIC. I've got about 2 albums/28 songs worth. Any minute now, Dad's going supposed to help me set it up. It's been any minute now since 11th grade. And I'm still hopeful.

If you put pepperoni on my cat, you'd have Pete-za. Think about it.

I laughed so hard at that Geico commercial- when they're at the antique roadshow and she has a bird in a hand, and the guy's like, "I think it's safe to say that it's definitely worth two in the bush." And the lady's like, "Are you SERIOUS!?!?!?"

"LOL."

That was for you, Beth. And, also, I've decided not to sell myself for money. I thought you'd like to know, since this was due to such excellent advice.

Moving on:

I organized my mum's entire thread collection today. It was ridiculous how much she had and where all she had it. So, being the business student that I am, I fashioned a system to reduce inventory costs. Not really, because spools are more supplies than they are merchandise. But nevertheless, the drawers are all color-coincided (like pinks don't start in one drawer and continue to the next one) and spares are kept in a separate drawer. It was a job, and Todd made it harder by batting at everything.

And then we made our own crescent rolls. I really like dough; you can lob it wherever you want, slam it down, punch it, pull it, prod it, poke it, and it doesn't get its feelings hurt. And then Pillsbury had to go invent the Dough Boy and ruin everything.

How about some herbal tea?

How about not.

I am REALLY looking forward to this evening. Here's why:

1. New jumper + grey shirt and tights = GOOD

2. Church service with Cleve, maybe we'll see Peter

(or maybe Peter will see me. o.0)

3. Road trip! Seriously, this church is like 20-25 minutes away

4. Grandparents house: FRUIT PUNCH shrimp and dip CRACKERS celery CHEESE and wine for everyone else.

I seriously have this newfound love affair with cheese. We met in the refrigerator, and I haven't been able to think about anything else since.

5. Cleve's present! I have no idea what he got me, but it's usually awesome. I mean, I still wear my black chucks. Maybe he got me sweater tights. Doubtful, but not impossible. Just very unlikely.

6. Kittens! And fire! And everything else I love about being home. :)

You may be wondering why the title of this post is Peter.

It just seemed like a good name for a post.

For those of you allergic to Facebook, my new favorite song is an old country favorite by Marty Robbins called El Paso. This isn't your Jason-Aldein-Tractor-Sex-hate-my-wife-country music, okay? This is your old-time borderline-folk country.

And I like folk.

So here are some lyrics:

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
I fell in love with a Mexican girl.
Night-time would find me in Rosa's cantina;
Music would play and Felina would whirl.

Isn't that just MAGICAL? It's like in 6/8 time and it's so hunky-dory, which is why I love it so much.

I think the moment has finally come.

Special features on these albums: harmony that I do with myself, a song completely in Italian (see Io Canto Italiano), and even a song featuring a harmonica solo. It's really something. Let's go be famous.

Bells and whistles,

T.T.

Capscision

Life is going to be awesome.

I just know it.

Inspired,
T.T.

But this might have to turn into a fashion blog. So be warned.

Indexed

So I've been off an entire week now and have succeeded in making two articles of clothing: a skirt and a cowl-neck dress. You may have seen the fotos on Phacebook of my summer collection, which wasn't necessarily this summer (I mean, there were 15 pieces- geez!), and actually only 5 of those were from summer 2010. Anywho, I will make it a priority to put my pieces into pictures, my pictures into seasons, and my seasons on Facebook. Real talk. I'm already planning out winter... There will be no fall. It'll be just like this year. Hot until middle of November and then BAM: cold.

Todd thinks my laptop's chewy.
I think Todd's chewy.

But other than that, no news. People don't realize how long it takes to make something, and make it look good.asssssszz

That was Todd's contribution to this post.

I have had a few weird dreams, though. And since I'm awesome and remember to write them down, I can now share them with you. Here are a few ones from this semester:

August 20- I napped for like an hour

I had this dream that it was the end of senior year and Beth and I were being silly. Someone was giving a speech, or at least trying to, ad then I'd sing the last part of America the Beautiful "from sea to shining sea" really shrilly. It was really annoying the speaker. So when he finished, I went up to the podium, but I was laughing already and some guy, who I think is George Bush Sr., tickles me from behind and so I get out the way, all the while thinking that later I'll be able to tell people that I was tickled by George H. Bush! (but it wasn't George Bush)

So after the assembly, we had to climb down four flights of stairs. But for some reason, it was REALLY hard for me. Everyone was already way ahead of me because I was hung up on this thing (??) I was tied up and remember seeing Beth walking away, but then I kept thinking what a great story this all would make, and slowly untied myself and made it to the stairs.

The tricky thing about these stairs though is that once you got to the bottom, it'd reset you to the stop, sort of like Escher's stairs, but not. So I think I tried to climb bottom to top? I got really frustrated and somewhere along the way I saw a rat hatching from an egg. It was scared of me.

So I finally made it and Patrick and I exchange words, about what I don't know.

Then I'm leaving to go home and I'm stopped by this guy Robert Lynch, who introduces himself. Note: at this point in my life, I do not know anyone by that name. So we're talking, and I say my name is Allison Jansen but I keep messing it up and it's that really awkward conversation that happens in a crowded hallway and you can't really understand what the other person is saying. I remember babbling about the guy in the Olympics with the last name Jansen, so he'll try to remember it, but he obviously doesn't care. I don't know why I just didn't say Allie.

Finally, I go to leave and he gives me a hand shake, and then like a side hug, and then wants to kiss me and I'm like NO!!!! So I run away to those blasted stairs again, but I make it this time, and then all of the sudden, I'm in Biff and Dan's living room/kitchen area and Cleve's there, and I tell them everything that happened. I think Lynch showed up again, but with Cleve and family there, I didn't feel threatened at all.

October 6

I had this dream that I went to church and Cleve was already there and he was standing in the back wearing only these ugly light blue swimming trunks. Like- no shirt or shoes. In church. I remember being embarrassed to be seen with him.

November 2

I had this dream that I was at home making dinner or something, and Caleb from work was there for some reason, and he spanked me. I can honestly say it's the only time I've ever been spanked in my sleep.

November 5

I had a dream that I was in the IT building with other Accounting Association people, and we were planning our social for the fall. Kaity Culberson (or someone who looked like her) suggested we do an African/jungle theme. I got all excited because I remember I had that tribal looking skirt, but then I got all sad because it was at home and I realized that I couldn't go there to pick it up because I wasn't going home between then and the party. *disappointment over a skirt*

December 16 I had this last night. The George Bush theme is starting to freak me out.

I had a dream that I was in a theatre watching this really epic movie with George W. Bush. This movie was like really epic- like Hamlet and Gladiator and all those types of movies into one huge one, and it was somewhere between 5 and 7 hours long. When there was 2 hours left to go, I thought, "Man- why would the producers put together such a long movie if it can only make so much money?"

George went to go check for his wife and left me with this letter/e-mail from Laura and here is what I remember from reading it
-Her flight was supposed to be coming in around 7:45-8

-Her plans about transportation

-How he did a great job with his "matri-d" speech (??)

Apparently, Laura wrote the speech, and he delivered it.

So when George gets up to go see where she is, I remember that the movie was at the part where an army of white horses is galloping across a plain with an aerial view, and I think, "Man! That's a lot of horses!" Some young guy comes up to me and says, "Have you seen my dad?" And, thinking he was George's son (even though I know George Bush doesn't HAVE a son), I pointed to George walking away. The guy follows him, and then turns around and gives me a scathing look and a head shake. Apparently, George wasn't his dad. Shocker.

And that is all for now.

Some dude with whom my dad works is having an open house with food. So we're going in about an hour, which gives me time to internet shop (eBay!!!). I'm kind of at a standstill with my new projects because I'm not quite sure how to do button holes, and I don't know if I should use a regular needle with the sparkly stuff.

Yeah, I'm going to start wearing sparkly stuff.

Oyster crackers,

T.T.

Deductive Reasoning Doesn't Work

Here's proof:

Major Premise: Booties are heels. TRUE

Minor Premise: Heels with peep-toes are awesome. TRUE

Conclusion: Booties with peep-toes are awesome. FALSE

I just don't see where I went wrong.

And I made a 101 in Accounting. It's kind of a big deal.

Gubernatorial is a great word,

T.T.

Registration Invoice and Web Payment

"It's the third link under Student Records."

That's like all I ever tell people. And I just thought you'd like to hear.

Things to which to look forward:
1. DISNEY WORLD
2. End of Statistics- forever!
3. Cantatatatatatas.
4. Chrima.

How's about my mum sends me this little e-mail that's like, "Get an internship over winter break!" and my mum's like, "Thought you could look at this since you'll be home for 5 weeks!" And so I go to the website for the website's sake, and they're only offering fall and spring internships (so they told untruths) and closest ones were in Macon County. WHY would I want to work over my break anyway? A break is supposed to be a break. A timeframe in which to spend the sweet cash I've earned sitting here in this very chair. Or that one over there.

Although, please tell me how it is fair that ______ can go with ______ to Chick-Fil-A to get lunch while he's still on the clock and I have to sit here and answer phones.

(Hint: it's not)

I feel like such activity should be reported. Some wrists should be slapped. Or at least I should get a chicken sandwich.

A critic could whine: "But you're here blogging."
Yes- but I am HERE. That's the difference. "And there's your trouble, there's you trouble, seeing double with the wrong one..."

Remember inverted water? I have some on my desk right now. Cleve was telling me of this guy who had these glasses that made his vision upside down. He kept wearing them, and then one day, he woke up and the glasses made everything right side up because his brain had reversed the image. And so then he saw things upside down without the glasses. I don't know if I buy that because sometimes Cleve believes stupid things (like when we first watched Paranormal Activity, he thought it was real before I told him it wasn't). And wouldn't his vision switch back if he stopped wearing the glasses? Would he have dreams that were upside down?

That reminds me: Inception was awesome. It's a movie I'm going to have to see again. Partly because I missed the beginning due to the sticker shock of the price of popcorn, and partly because it's so mind-enthralling. I also love movies that make me think like that. I also love movies with social epicness- like Fight Club or the Shawshank Redemption. And those with interpretive endings. (like was he dreaming or did he really make it home OMG- IDK!?!??)

URG- don't you hate when people sign e-mails/letters with "Best" and then their name? I really hate that. It's like- if you really meant it, you'd be more sincere than just one word. Like "Best Wishes" or "Best of luck" is acceptable. But just "Best"? It ruins the context for me.

I really want a chicken sandwich and some fries right now. I ate lunch early because I finished my accounting final early, and now I've got the appetite of a fat kid. Mum made the best beef brisket last night- flavored with barbecuey GOODNESS. I ate so much. And the brisket is the chest of a cow- the meat in front of the ribs. I know this from my 211 Things A Clever Girl Can Do book. Very handy.

*Car alarm*

Goal for upcoming break: To make it go by as SLOW as possible. I know I want to graduate asap, but there's no since in hurrying the break along. Erego, I shall write every day and make sure I do something significant every day so that the days don't blend into one another like they tend to do over streches of inactivity. Playing with kittens makes a weekend go by REALLY quickly. It also explains the cuts on my arms. I look like an emo kid, PETE!

So a woman has twins and names them Wan and Amal. One day, Amal goes fishing with his dad. The woman's friend comes over to see the twins, and she's disappointed when she gets there because Amal is gone and doesn't get to see him. And then the mother says, "Well, if you've seen Wan, you've seen Amal."

Best,
T.T.

Now you know what I'm talking about.

Romper ≠ Jumper

It's December now, so I figured it'd be appropriate to update.
Also, it's Phony Smile Day.
Too bad the Christmas Party wasn't today.
That would've been appropriate.
Ha.

As far as appropriacy goes, this paragraph's content is inappropriate. All week, I have been really wanting to say/use the B-word. Sometimes I think it would just really enhance my sentences/add more emphasis to its meaning. I don't know where this sporatic impulse came from, but I doubt it will come to fruition, unfortunately. If it did, it wouldn't be as glorious as it sounds and I'd get all guilty because that's what I do, and if it was as glorious as I think it will be, then I'd continue to say such atrocities, and that's, um, not nice.
So it's a lose-lose situation.

I was almost sure there was a grammatical error in my management information systems book. The title of a section is called "IT'S ROLE IN THE SUPPLY CHAIN" written in all caps just like that and I thought for sure they meant "Its role in the supply chain" and it really delayed my studying for a few minutes. Then I realized that IT is an acronym for Information Technology.

Also, I have a claim to fame. You know the Police Beat in the school newspaper, which could also be named the be-aware-of-the-drunkards-and-criminals-in-your-community? Yeah. Anyway, I went to the spa on Tuesday with Cleve and since I finished changing way before him (I know- by all the counts it doesn't make sense), I was able to find some keys sitting on the side of the pool. So I turned them in to the lifeguard, and that was my heroical act of the day. The George-Anne states: "A set of keys were found at the RAC."
That was because of me.
*phony smile*

I don't get the fascination with bags- er, purses. Or "pocketbooks". In what way is a satchel the size of a pork roast related to a pocket or a book? Furthermore, how can they be "cute"? It's big, brown, and leather- which means it probably will smell like dead cow. And there's nothing cute about a dead cow.

Yeah, I know how to strike through words now. WHAT*?

*That would've been an awesome opportunity for the word I've been itching to say all week**.
**I feel so NAUGHTY***.
***Just like when Davy puts that catepillar down that girl's back in the middle of church and Anne tells him that it's not something that Paul would've done because he's a gentleman****.
****See Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery*****.
*****Look!*************Stars!********************

It's good that not a lot of traffic's coming through our office. Otherwise, all of the good candy would be gone. Oh- and I wouldn't be blogging.

It got all cold outside. I figured I'd let you know in case you were inside an office all day. Like me. :( (but I have a job that makes money) :)

In fact, the other day at work I got seriously concerned that I had restless leg syndrome. I'm not really sure what it is or what it entails, but I know something was weird. I was sitting here, just like I am now, but my legs (or if you're brother-in-law: LAYGS. AYGS. AYghty! ok. I'm done) ached for no good reason. It felt sort of like growing pains, but I mean, come on- I'm tall enough already. And this wasn't how growing pain normally feels. I just had this strong inclination to move really fast: like take off my shoes, run around a bit, jumping jacks... I was just so tired of being still. So I spent the last hour and a half of work standing. And then I went home and while I was cooking dinner, I pulled Cleve off the bed (where he normally lounges, SO helpfully, while I run around cooking) and I'm like, "I NEED to do this!" and he finally moved, and I got on my back on my bed and bounced up and down using vertical leg momentum. It was phenomenal. And then I fell off the bed in a fit of hysteria. Cleve just watched me. And then I went back to cooking dinner.

Sorry if this blog is turning into a medical illness journal. "My fingers are being weird" "My legs hurt". Apologies if these things do not interest you.

I just had a really weird incident. The phone rang.
Me: "Student Accounts!"
Other guy: "Hey..."
Me: "...Hi?"
Other guy: "What're you doing?"
At this point I thought it was some upper management spy watching me blog or something.
Me: "...Working?"
*pause*
Other guy: "Is this Angie?"
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH you wanted to speak to my boss ok this makes way more sense and you thought I was her and so you started talking ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh
See- this is what kind of confusion ensues when you have phones that roll. He called her direct line, she wasn't there, so it rolled back around to the front office.
Creepy.

Today, for the first time in my life, I listened to an iPod on my walk to school. Only since Apple is gay and doesn't charge things properly even though the last time I added songs it seemed to have been charged all the way, the battery sign was a depressing red blip, and it cut out not 5 minutes into my 20 minute walk. But then I turned it back on and it worked for the rest of the time, though the battery thing was like, "Fine- you want to push the envelope? I'll keep playing music for you until I am severely all out of juice." And then in economics, it somehow turned on all by itself, and then I discovered the Hold button.
Because Apple products are so dang touchy and Fisher-Price-like that they require a Hold button.

And then I made an A on the test and a 105 in the last economics class of my life. It was quite monumental.

My statistics teacher pronounces labels like "La-bells" and the letter z like the letter g,
T.T.

P.S. He's from Korea.

Talc and Coal

So we decorated for Christmas today. Mum pulled out this annoying snowman thing which doesn't have a purpose outside of being annoying. You press this button, and this snowman head shoots out and says either "Get out the shovel!" or "It looks like snow!" or plays the first line of Let It Snow with a really bad sound.

And, of course, it gets stuck in my head.

So then I went into the bathroom to get some candlestick holders for the Santa candles we have, and I was singing Let It Snow really obnoxious like I do, and I then I feel someone watching me, and I look and Dad's peeking around the corner looking at me. Then I burst out laughing, and he walked away.

It's what usually happens around here.

Poll: should I or should I not decorate my room for Christmas? (Decorate = Christmas lights) I really need to clean my room either way. Really should've done that this week. But I didn't.

I really don't know where this week went. Like- one moment, I was buying stuff, then I was eating, then I was watching TV, and then I sewed and BAM. It's Saturday. And I have to go back to the daily grind tomorrow. It's weird that there's only a week left of this semester. I feel like I've already finished and that I should be starting a new one.

But enough about me.

I don't understand the fascination with real pearls. It's clam doodoo,

T.T.

Unrelated Matter

I finally figured out how to work the TV in the living room. This might not seem like such an accomplishment, but every time I come home from college, I have to relearn all the remotes, their functionality, and the correct "settings" to hack into the DVR booty vault.

But now I know!

And lest I forget, I shall record this information to save time in the future:

1. Turn on the TV. It's the longest remote on the coffee table with the red button. Somehow, turning the TV on makes the blue light on the TV turn off. This was also very confusing to learn.

2. Turn on sound stereo using the remote that's too colorful for its own good. Side note: this remote also controls the volume.

3. Turn on the computer mouse.

4. Make sure you're on the right channel. "Tuner" is live TV. Press the "source" button on the third remote to get it to the computer screen.

5. And access DVR from there.

Isn't that a ridiculous amount of work just to watch TV?

I've been sewing a skirt. IT HAS POCKETS. It matches my scarf, which was the whole reason I was making the skirt (and to see if I could really do it all by myself). It has top-stitching, too, which I might end up taking out and redoing. Like most everything I create. But it HAS POCKETS. Like- made out of a different but matching fabric, so it looks legit. Now all I have to do is the button and button hole. And clip off all remaining threads. And the hem because right now it's hanging there like a Goodwill skirt.

And you all know what I'm talking about.

Dear Pandora,

Miley Cyrus is NOT in the same genre as Taylor Swift. Please remember this in the future.

Sincerely,

Me

Yesterday the doorbell rang, and I was all the way in the back of the house watching Seinfeld on my sister's bed.

"Why were you in your sister's room?"

Because in the fall/winter time, the sun comes up in her window.

And I like the sun.

So ANYWAY, the doorbell rings, and I take like forever getting it because I was in the back room and I expected the guy, who I thought might be a mail guy, to have gone away by then. But he was still there. So I open the door.

"Hey! Is your husband around?"

Whut?

"Oh- you mean my DAD?"

So either I look really old or my dad looks really young. Moral of story: don't hang around when roofers come calling.

And we're getting a new roof.

We're having a bit of Led Zeppelin weather today. It'd be a good day to stay inside and read one's past blogs. I might succumb to that.

I bought Cleve a __________ for Christmas (hint: the item DOESN'T start with a vowel since I put the article "a" in front of it- and you know how I wouldn't make any hypothetical grammatical errors if I could help it. Just thought I'd point that out to you. Ok- we're going to move along; sorry to slow you down). And I also bought some trendy shoes. Not for Cleve, though. They're like boots, but not. They're also like heels, but not. They're on every other page of the J. Crew catalog, though. (But that's not why I bought them. (But that may have influenced my decision. (But here's what went on in the store))):

Me: I can't decide if I want them or not. I mean, they're SUPER trendy, but I can't think of anything I'd wear them with right now, but I know in the future that if I had something and I didn't have the shoes, then I would be sad.

Mum: Well, you are a working woman now...

Excellent argument, Mum. And now I have 37 pairs of shoes.

Disclaimer: I'm not really sure if I have 37 pairs of shoes, that's just a rough estimate. I know I have more than 20, but less than 50. And there's your confidence interval. The alpha level would be 0 in this case, since I am 100% confident that the true proportion of my shoes falls within this interval. Therefore, since the probability can never be below zero, we will never reject the null hypothesis.

We "fail to reject" the null hypothesis.

Yeah, I'm taking statistics.

Yesterday, I was in the shower and all of the sudden, my ring and middle fingers starting getting really warm on the inside and extremely sensitive to touch. The hot water seemed to burn them. They weren't warm to the touch- only internally. This phenomenon lasted for about a half hour. Due to internet/self diagnosis, I either have an infection or Raynaud's Syndrome. But I doubt the Raynaud's thing because it didn't change color. It was just a really freaky thing. I should probably tell someone.

Nah.

During a game of Taboo:

Cleve: Okay- you're trying to get me to do this!

Me: Paint my nails! Pedicure! Manicure! Not wear jerseys anymore!

Answer: Dental floss.

Tomorrow just doesn't feel like Thanksgiving. The timing doesn't seem right for cranberry sauce. In a Good Housekeeping (or perhaps it was Better Homes and Gardens? Or Ladies Home Journal? Nah- I'm pretty sure it was Good Housekeeping) they had a really dumb suggestion for a centerpiece. I mean, I guess it was a centerpiece. They suggested getting a bunch of cheese graters together on a platter, placing candles under them, and "watching the sparkle" as the light plays off of the little holes in the graters. They had a picture of this conglomeration of rusty old cheese graters sitting around with tea lights under them. And then the authors/"interior decorators" had the gall to throw in "For safety, use LED lights instead of candles."

This just raised a bunch of questions for me:

1. WHERE are you going to get like 10 vintage-looking cheese graters? They suggested a flea market or on eBay. Seems like a lot of shipping and handling for a "simple" centerpiece...

2. WHAT are you going to do with 10 vintage-looking cheese graters after the centerpiece has...well, centerpieced? They're not very storage friendly. Also, the marginal utility declines with each additional grater. In economics, we call this the "Law of Diminishing Returns". Ergo, this centerpiece is bad economics.

3. WHY would you put a picture of candles in your magazine instead of your suggested LED lights under the graters? Posers.

4. WHO is actually going to take this suggestion? It's CHEESE GRATERS. What will be the centerpiece next year? PIZZA CUTTERS?

It just didn't make sense to me.

IS THAT DILLON I HEAR?

(Or is it a case of mistaken identity?),

T.T.

That was a lot of punctuation right there. I'm being very punctilious. No pun(ctuation) intended.

A Carless Man's Careful Daughter

It seems unreal how I come home and immediately get sick. Home is supposed to be a place of health and wellness, and I haven't been sick all semester. *pout* I must be the only kid in college who eats better there than I do at home. Or maybe that has nothing to do with it. Maybe I'm allergic to...dog?

"Hey- look! It's Jason Mraz!"

"No- I'm just a guy wearing a hat."

"Yeah! That's Jason Mraz!"

It's like summer in that I'm alone in the house and bored. I would be making a jumper to wear to Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm not really confident in cutting things out yet. We need to do some alterations on the sizing because it's a teen pattern and I, fortunately, no longer fall under teenage sizing. And I really don't want to screw it up.

I hate how I can hear myself BREATHING.

But it's so awesome how friends work. Like- how you can meet up months later and pick up right where you left off. How you lose track of time discussing the Watergate Scandal or the best way to make fajitas. How you can build a fire down by the lake just because you want to. Or how you can tell him anything just because you trust him.

Yes, it's just like summer. Minus the cute sundresses and everything else pertaining to warmer weather.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner.

Down with the sickness,

T.T.

My Parents

My post today will consist of a random e-mail my dad sent me last night. Perhaps this will show you why I am the way that I am.

And I quote:
"So…there we were at Kroger and Mom was upset because turkeys were not on sale for as cheap as she thought they should be ($.89 vs $.69/lb). However, with Thanksgiving coming soon, we figured they are just higher this year, so we bought one. Of course, AFTER we are outside the store, she realizes they charged her full price ($1.49/lb), so, back in we go to customer service and wait for that to be corrected. Then, because the error was so large, she gets a bonus $5.00 gift card in addition to the sale price, so the bird actually ends up costing her only $.58/lb. Mom is now very happy. Dad not too thrilled with the fiasco…but when Mom’s happy (saving money gets her excited - higher probability of sex) Dad’s happy, so all is OK.

Then, we go to Publix for some other things, and turkeys are $.69/lb. Mom now not so happy again even though she ended up getting it cheaper due to error. Dad, trying to save the night, suggests she go ahead and get another one since we’ll need one for Christmas anyway. Mom’s happy again. Whew…there’s still hope.

Now, we get home – problem…where to store TWO 16 lb. turkeys? Well, it turns out that a 16 lb. turkey takes up about the same space as 8 bags of frozen strawberries, so strawberries come out of the freezer and turkeys go in. Problem solved…sort of.

Hmmm, dilemma now is what to do with 18 lb of strawberries. You know, of all the fruit we picked this summer, strawberries came in around the wedding, so we never had time to make any…Yup, you’ve guessed by now…sweet strawberry wine. At 3 lb. per gallon, 18 lb. makes precisely 6 gallons (or one big carboy). So Sunday, I smashed strawberries, and Monday, I added the yeast, and today it is fermenting nicely, albeit a little slow due to cooler weather. So, the sewing room and “peach” bathroom – the good one with the crossword puzzles – smells wonderfully YEASTY. Welcome home…thought it would remind you of your summer.

Also, I know this is random, but have you ever noticed that picture of the last supper in the hall? Judas has this tiny little pin head sitting on top of a normal sized torso and shoulders. Strange. Another oddity - he spilled a little cup of something, perhaps salt. What would they have been putting salt on…the bread? Why would an artist put a detail like that right in the foreground?

Look forward to seeing you,
Dad"

I actually did notice that about Judas' head. Peter's head is conversely too big for his body. I think this has something to do with minimizing Judas' importance and maximizing Peter's because Peter represents the foundation for the new church.
Or something like that; I've never been one to interpret art.

Only been one to place hamburgers on empty plates,
T.T.

"I guess the joke was for that side of the table."

So Friday at work was little more than a huge gossip session. Of course, I sat idly by, because that's what I do here, and soaked up the information in a way comparable to a sponge.

Here's a funny word: expunge.

They talked of the guy who used to work here and how they think he's making a huge mistake marrying this girl right after graduation. Seriously- he's getting married the day after graduation. What a weekend. But that's not what they were upset about. They were all going on about how this girl's not right to him, and how her parents don't like him, and how it's not going to work out because they want different things. And I'm sitting there thinking, 'Man, they really know this guy well.' I wondered if any of them tried to say anything to him about this supposedly huge mistake he's about to make.

So I asked.

And they all shook their heads and said that's "he's too far gone" and "wouldn't listen if we tried". But here's the thing: you never tried. And you could have very well prevented a divorce.

But no. Instead you gossip about how awful it's going to turn out. Now if you had told him, and he rebuked you, THEN you can say it's all going to you know where. But if you never said anything...

I just don't think that's right. I would tell my friends if I thought they were making a huge mistake.
But then again, I'm brutally honest. And other people...aren't.

And then they proceeded to talk about our head controller, who's been on leave since I've been here. Apparently, she has this weird accent. I asked where she was from and had to spend the rest of the conversation pretending to know where Lebanon was.

Just kidding.
(But seriously.)

I couldn't get to sleep until about 2 last night. It tends to happen when the following things take place:
1) I drink "herbal tea" before bed. I didn't know Bigelow's "English Teatime" had about as much caffiene as a cup of coffee! Well, I guess I did know because I found that out when I looked on the back of the box under "caffiene content", but it didn't influence my decision, for some reason. I guess I really wanted tea. And then I left it in the microwave for some time, so it got HEAVILY infused with strongness (strength?) and then I proceeded to read a big chunk of my book. It FINALLY has a plot!
2) I get too excited about going home. Pattern shopping, sewing, brisk walks at night, seeing my FIRENZ, Thanksgiving dinner, fire building, stacking firewood... Truth be told, I was mainly thinking about things I would wear on certain occassions. Yes, I have been looking at ModCloth waaaaaaay too much. But yeah- I figure if I'm going to be a designer, I should probably start dressing like one. Doncha just love my earthy logic?

"Logic's a guy who oughta empty his pockets."
-Swimming Pool; The Submarines

Great line, terrible song.

I did get the opportunity to print off my entire blog yesterday. My "technology fee allowance" went from around $66 to about $20. In one night. It was epic. And I walked out of there carrying a binder full of goodness. I was so happy, and so I spent over an hour and a half reliving 8th grade. And I miss it. Hence my Facebook status. So punching 3-ring holes in all of it will be a project for next week. I didn't want to raise too many eyebrows at the library. Excessive printing and hole-punching thereforewithcaused tends to be frowned upon.

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint,
T.T.

Square

So I'm back.

My job is partly the reason for my return. Upper management brilliantly decided to enforce the rule that student workers aren't allowed to do homework during the down hours- i.e. the workers shall sit idly at their desks, pleading with the phone to get it to ring just to have something to do. It gets kind of lonely.

I'm sure blogging wouldn't be allowed either, but a screen on a computer is much less conspicuous than a calculator and statistics notes.

Oh, yes, I use big words now like "conspicuous" and "allelopathy" and even small words that are so uncommon that they sound like big words like "transit" and "vex". I am quite the thesaurus, when it comes to dinosaurs.

Seriously- today at work, I was talking to Caleb about how I like oranges, but not orange candy with the synthetic flavor. And he was all like, "Synthetic? You mean artificial?"

Same thing.

As for the other blog, I think I'll go to the library one day and print off the whole thing using the remainder of my technology fee allowance. I'll put it in a big old binder and stash it away like wine. And then I shall resign from Ooga Booga Surf Company.

I know, it's sad. But I'm tired of the colors not cooperating, and the ads that show up on some computers, and it's a little obsolete. So I'll be "closing the books". Haha- get it? Yeah, I'm into accounting now...

So I didn't go home with Cleve this weekend because I had to work Friday, had to study for stat, and I decided to go to this dessert social.

And let me tell you about this dessert social.

A couple of weeks ago, I took the second test in my Business Economics class. Real easy class- no problem. I went to class the next time, and the teacher asked, "So how was the test?" And people were like, "HORRIBLE!" and I was like, "whut?" So the professor talked about the class average bladeblah and then he said, "But some of you are doing quite well, and I'd like to recognize you...is Allison Jansen here?"

crapcrapcrap.

And he gave me this invitation IN FRONT OF EVERYONE to a dessert social held by the School of Economic Development. And then he asks me to "give a few words" IN FRONT OF EVERYONE on how I am succeeding in this class.

Shoot me in the face.

So then I went to said dessert social Friday, and it was LAME. Basically, it was the department's way of getting people to switch or think about switching to an econ major. So I ate a piece of cheesecake, listened to the presentation, thanked the host, and was out of there in an hour. Functions like that are just so awkward.

Never again.

I'm sitting at work right now eating my crackers. They're all crumbly because I stepped on them this weekend by accident. Isn't it weird how crummy can be spelled like crummy or crumby and sound the same? Confused the heck out of me when I was reading The Catcher in the Rye.

I can't wait to be home for Thanksgiving. Or my 5 week Christmas break. That's right, sirs, I get 5.5 weeks off! I don't know what I'll do with myself. Feel free to post suggestions.

Suggestions like "return to summer" and "play in local coffeehouse" are acceptable.

Ok. I'm done with crumby crackers.

This job gives me boredom headaches.

OH! My title just reminded me. I'm writing a new song and it's called "Square". I might change some things- the second verse is bugging me. But it sounds really nice, so I'll write some lyrics:

We met up last spring in the park
On a cold, sunny day in the middle of March
And we sat on the grass and talked like old friends
And I believed we were...

We started off that way
Always filling the silence with something to say
But our common became so different
And so did we.

There were things we didn't know
We tied our hearts to balloons and we let them go
And when they came down
They were in two different worlds in two distant towns
And we were even; we were square.

*section of lyrics that are too embarrassing to post*

And there were things we'd never say
As you pulled up the anchor and you sailed away
And I stood there on the shore
Looking back at you as I've never looked before
'Cause we were even; we were square.

Yeah we were even; we were square.

Failing to reject the null hypothesis,
T.T.