Giving Credit Where Credit is Doodoo

It occurred to me last night that I will be turning 20 on a Friday in 2011.

Which means that I'll turn 21 in 2012.

2012 is a leap year.

April 15th will be a Sunday.

Ergo, I cannot buy alcohol on my 21st birthday.

So I've been cursed since birth. I have always hated leap year for how it rudely shows up every four years and tacks on another day to the worst month of the year. But this? This is simply unforgivable.

I just thought I should share my frustration.

Which will be the theme of this post. Let's begin.

1. I am a frustrated student.

Nothing is hard yet, and not that I'm doing terrible. Why- just the other day I pwned managerial accounting into oblivion, punched a marketing quiz in the face, tea-bagged an IDS test, and drop-kicked both CISM AND Management in the same day.

So I'm doing quite well academically.

But there is always that one class, that one stupid class, with that one stupid group project that lasts all freaking semester long. I don't even know how to get started. The directions don't even make sense. Partly because the professor is Chinese and sometimes leaves out important articles like a, an or the, and partly because the project itself just doesn't make sense.

And you know how sometimes you can like pretend to know what's going on, do stuff according to what you think you're supposed to be doing, and it kind of comes out okay? Yeah- not this time.

Look at this sentence: "What structural elements are required for each module, the attributes necessary to create each of those structural elements, and the nature and type of data necessary to populate each of those attributes can be identified by referencing the lab 2 and 6 tutorials."

QUE? EN ANGLAIS SIL-VOUS-PLAIT!!!!!

And here's the thing about this class. It meets one day a week. And if you already finish the lab tutorial before you go to class, then there's nothing to do that one day in class, so you can go home. So I don't know what we're supposed to be learning, or how to apply what we're learning to this "project". And I feel like if I ask, I'll get directed to a tutorial.

2. I am a frustrated worker.

You know how I said last semester that my job was boring? Well, if it's not boring, it's annoying. It's around the time for refund checks to be sent out, so we get calls all the time asking the same freaking questions (when will they be sent out? what if I have direct deposit?) OMG SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel with all honesty like a machine recording could do my job. Therefore, I am a waste of human capital. I was reworking my resume this morning and I realized that I have skills! I know things! I know how to do things! And yet I get paid minimum wage to sit in a chair and talk to morons.

It was both an uplifting and a depressing realization.

And so I'm going to try my hardest to get a graduate assistantship next spring where I will be paid way more for doing something meaningful.

3. I am a frustrated inhabitant.

My roommate from Burkina Faso came back from grocery shopping at midnight last night. And, you know, it's Friday night, so I'm up a little later than normal. But then she starts cooking (which for some reason involves the pounding of a jack hammer to break up frozen goat meat) at 12:15 and leaves the stove on all night. But it's not like I can talk to her about it because of the language barrier.

True story.

But I found a good way of coping with all the frustration. There is an emanating mantra that brings hope and peace:

THIS IS TEMPORARY.

• I will not forever be in school. I will graduate at some point, and there will no longer be projects and homework. There is indeed an end to this. I like to think of completing my degree as buying my "ticket home", and every single assignment I do gets me that much closer.
• I will not forever be at this job. I'm going to get my degree and earn money by doing stuff I LIKE.
• I will not forever live with these people. I will move HOME where only the crickets keep me up at night.

23 months. Can I make a paper chain yet?

And you should know this: I started playing Halo.

I've realized that I don't have many friends here, and there are only a select few who don't annoy the poo out of me. And so in order to spend time with them, I have to have something in common with them.

Enter Halo.

I'd like to get a little better at video games in general so that Peter will no longer get to make snide comments at my expense. But I draw the line at that. I will not invest money into this and I will not call it a hobby. I would just like to not be so socially inept ("WHERE'S B!??!!?").

And I've gotten better. Actually got 2 headshots in SWAT last night.

Also, I kind of like to think of myself as the "Penny" of the group (as if this were really The Big Bang Theory). So I stopped trying to pretend the nerds aren't my friends.

Because they are.

First train home, I've got to get on it,

T.T.

Toldjaso

Would you care to see my etchings?

Check this out:

I know, I hate the sunglasses, too. And I just realized I totally forgot her shoes.
And you're prolly all like, "OMG THEY HAVE NO EYES!!!!!!!!!!"
But if you look at most designer sketches, they don't have eyes because our focus is not on the person, it's what they're wearing.
I must say, though, I really did enjoy doing their hair.

All of these were made with a croquis, except for the one on the right. That one was a freehand sketch from an instructional video that interviewed a sketcher from Simplicity- which are like my favorite patterns. But that's why the arms look more like tree branches than arms. And I wouldn't really design a top like that either.

And since Adobe 8.0 was being stupid and gay over the weekend, I had to take pictures of my pictures, which is why you see the desk in the background here. It also accounts for the (bad) lighting.

And I just wanted to see what a bandeau bikini would look like.

Cleve was all like, "Who really has legs that long?"

Again, it's about the clothes- however minimal they may be- and not the model.

But the legs are awesome, no?

With fronds like these, well who needs anemones,
T.T.

I'm Like Kyle

So I quit the band.

Sort of.

There were a lot of factors that went into this decision, those being:

1. I’m taking 19 freaking hours. But I took this last spring, so this data alone is not sufficient enough to support this idea. (OMG- GMAT DATA SUFFICIENCY!!!)
2. Just kind of disregard the crazy end to that bullet point. But actually, taking the GMAT this upcoming summer and having to study for it could potentially be another reason…
3. I’m working- which wasn’t so terrible last semester when I was only taking 15 hours and had my mornings to do homework. But now I have class instead of those beautiful quiet mornings (well, I could still have the mornings, but it’d be like 6 AM as opposed to 8), so my homework time is nights and weekends.
4. I am an officer in the Accounting Association. Last semester I was like “Let’s have meetings on Tuesdays so it doesn’t conflict with Beta Alpha Psi meetings on Wednesdays!” And so we did. But now everyone wants to switch it back because our president has a class on Tuesday during our meeting time. So that means that in order to do AA (yes, I’m admitting I have a problem), I’d wake up Wednesday for my 8:00 class, go to school 8-12, work 12:30-5, meet with AA 5-6:30, cook something??, and have RUF 7:30-9:45. Tres impossible.
5. And that’s not just Wednesdays. There’s RUF practice, Officer’s meetings, extra other nightly doodoo that might come up like eating dinner with the Georgia Society of CPAs, which has happened before, or group projects (BIG RAWR), which cuts out a lot of my nights, and I simply refuse to do a 19 credit hour week’s worth of homework on the weekends. Especially if I go home.

So I quit the band.

Sort of.

I agreed to play next week and maybe later on in the semester when everyone else is freaking out about finals.

But enough about me- let’s talk about ME!

MWF are my FAVORITE classes- even though they start at 8. I have Management, which is sort of like Business Kindergarten (“Let’s learn what an organization is! Look how important teamwork is!” I seriously don’t know why this is a 3000 level course). But then I have Applied Stats, which is awesome---

“WAIT, WHAT!?!?!?! Have you lost your MIND, ALLIE J?!?!?! You HATED Statistics with the burning passion of a thousand burning suns!”

Aye. But my teacher is SO GOOD and even reminds me a little of Gentry. It’s actually a MATH class and not an evil seminar in Korean quantum mechanics.

I’m not even sure what quantum mechanics is, but it sounds as hard as statistics was.

And then I have Managerial Accounting (which is actually less fun than financial because it’s internal to the organization and not external, but it’s still love love love).

And then I have my ERP with SAP class which is just fun, even though it may not sound that way to you. Basically, we get to play around on this database and run business processes. Also- awesome teacher.

And then TR I have Marketing, ERP Configuration, and IDS which is the last of my core. Nothing special there.

But with all these business classes, I actually feel like I’m going to learn something relevant to either my next job or even my own business. And this is EXCITING! Today in App Stats we did profit maximization of a Native American bowl/mug business- like what combination of bowls and mugs, given a limited number of clay and hours, would maximize the profit.

Not that Native Americans would earn a living this way. In reality, they would just open a casino out west, but that’s neither here or there.

But while we were doing this, I was thinking how many labor hours involved in making dresses and skirts, how much material, and then I was like- HOLY CRAP! This is RELEVANT!

It was an amazing revolution. Who knew that going to college might actually teach you something?

I offered to play Halo with Cleve if he'd paint my toenails.
Apparently, this isn't a fair trade.

And, no, we don't take payment over the phone,
T.T.

Illustrated Laughing Squares

Victor and the awful Job Search:

Search: job openings *click*

Results far away from where you live!

APPLY APPLY APPLY

Briefcase contents:

A Character bar of soap

Skillz toothpaste

Experience toothbrush

Interview Tips (like Q-tips)

Impressive anecdote loofah

Education Floss

Yay! Future!

Awesome Inc: where things are awesome

NOTICE: We are not hiring. Our employees have life tenure employment, and even after they die, we don't hire anyone. Have an AWESOME day!

Slightly Less-Good Company

"Master's degree, treasurer of Everything Club, Young Astronauts, 3.89 GPA, 2 years of relevant experience..."

"You're a little under-qualified for our position opening. SORRY."

The Human Grocery

"A JOB? Ok- let me ask my manager. DADDY!!!!!"

"See, we don't hire anyone unless they're blood relation."

It's what we call a "FAMILY BUSINESS"

Mr. Grease! Now Hiring!

"Master's degree, treasurer of Everything Club, Young Astronaut, 3.89 GPA, 2 years of relevant experience- you're extremely over-qualified..."

"So we can't hire you. SORRY."

Your Future! Forget THAT.

...And so then I decided to just do what I love.

All rights reserved,

T.T.

Butter has meltdowns all the time.

It's really cold back here, so I had to pop a steaming bowl of popcorn. And it is steaming- right in my face. It's what we call "biofuel".

I got frustrated with my latest sewing project (dress B, but with less lipstick, better shoes, higher neckline, and longer skirt). You would not BELIEVE all the back-breaking work that goes into that skirt. And you're all like, "Come on- what's so back breaking about sewing?" And I'll be all like, " The ironing board is at a certain height, and in order to see what I'm pressing, I have to hunch over. And it takes a really long time to go all the way around the skirt- twice- and you have to get it perfect or else the world will descend into deep, dark anarchy where people wear slightly uneven clothes."

Slightly.

Or at least that's how my mum makes it sound. I sound so home-schooled.

Story: The Spectacle(sssss)

Yesterday, we were sewing and I asked how you're supposed to know what size needle is what and Mum said it was written on the side of the needle. I look and find it, written very small there, and before I knew it, she had pulled out these...glasses that looked like something you could find at a dental supply store or a joke shop. Easily.

Since Mum wouldn't let me take a picture (with my BALLIN' new camera, might I add), I had to draw my own. I know this may seem very Allie Bosh of me, but in no way am I trying to infringe anyone's ideas here.

A Visual of the VISUAL

But here's the real kicker: despite all of her gear for this needle-reading occasion, she didn't use the glasses/goggles/telescope, but continued to wear them. She could see fine without it because she's near-sighted. Therefore, one can only assume she enjoys wearing them and heretofore zealously waits for an opportunity to don them.

You absolutely loved my usage of heretofore. It's 4 words in one. It's like nevertheless, but BETTER.

We went over to my grandparent's house the other day and Granny was giving us the usual update: "I didn't sleep well; ibuprofen wreaked havoc on my GI tract; my glucose was..." and so on. But apparently in the middle of the night, my grandpa talked in his sleep and said something similar to the following:

"You prescription is ready. When will you be able to pick it up?"

And Granny was like WHU?

I thought that was pretty cool. My grandpa used to work at the FDA as a pharmacist, so it's like his brain went back in time. Ha- maybe in a few years I'll say something in my sleep like, "Good afternoon, this is the office of student accounts..."

But so far I've just been drooling. Lots and lots of drooling.

Cleve walking around the electronics section on Wal-Mart:

Cleve: Horton Hears A Who. Ha- Norton Hears a Virus.

I was at Goodwill today buying a dress (I know- I know it's another dress, but when it fits so perfectly, how can you resist?), and I go to checkout, and the guy cashier holds up the dress and asks, "Is this a children's dress?"

Um...no?

"Girls dress?"

Not exactly...

"Women's dress?"

There you go.

I didn't know I was that tiny, geez.

But then I got a student discount of 10%, which came out to saving a grand total of 55 cents.

Also- my next photo shoot for my Winter Collection will be this week. I'll have 8 pieces, if I ever finish that interminable skirt edging. ROAR. Be sure to check Facebook, but if you're not already my friend on there, don't ask me because I'm sitting at a nice, round 100 friends right now, and I really don't want to mess that up.

Yeah.

So what do rich people play on boats?

Yachtzee,

T.T.

P.S. The "freaky" thing that happened in Dubai was that a Pakistani guy tried to kiss her.

Mum: What is with you and foreigners?

LOLZ