Turning Away Customers

Sarah comes back from Kenya today.

"Really?"

Ken-YEAH!

Actually, she's already not in Kenya. She had a layover in Amsterdam. And we all know what that means.

...

That's right: WINDMILLS.

But I actually am looking forward to seeing her. Apparently something happened in Dubai that "would really freak Mum out", so I'm looking forward to that story. My vote is that it was one of the following:

a. Airport security

b. Terrorist threat

c. Plane crash

d. B and C

e. None of the above

(see, if you pick E, you can be right no matter WHAT it is!)

Story: Phone In the Dressing Room

Mum and I went shopping, and we were going to the dressing room, and her obnoxious phone started ringing. Later, she's like, "It sounded so far away, I didn't think it was mine!" That is because she may be going deaf. So after annoying all the people in the dressing room (or at least I get bugged when someone's cell phone goes on and on and on and on, but I'm actually that way about phones in general) she takes it out of her purse and opens it, while squeezing the sides in excitement:

There are two types of people in the world:

1. Those who answer the phone to get it to stop ringing

2. Those who answer the phone to talk to whoever is on the other side

I am the former. Mum, the latter. So, all hyped up about who it is on the phone, she's gripping the phone like a boa constrictor, ne'er to let go, and answers it with a loud, HELLO!?!?!?

In the dressing room.

And since she gripped the phone in such an extreme desperate excited arthritic manner, she accidentally pushed the speak phone button.

And it's my sister in Nairobi, so you know they're going to talk forever. And you know how when you have your iPod/less-stupid MP3 player in, and it's turned up kind of loud, and someone asks you a question, and you answer them REALLY LOUD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HEAR YOURSELF OVER THE LOUD MUSIC? That's how this conversation was because it was on speaker phone.

In the dressing room.

So from this little stall, you hear, "HEY WOO! WHERE ARE YOU? UNCLE DAL IS COMING IN THURSDAY BUT IT'S ONLY GOING TO BE FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES. GET THIS: WE'RE IN THE DRESSING ROOM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH! MY PHONE STARTED RINGING AND I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm not kidding. This is what she actually said/yelled to my sister/audience in the dressing room.

So I fling open my door because this is just ridiculous, and I reach for the phone to undo the speaker phone. But you know how you have to hold down a button for it to actually take action? She thought by just me pushing it, it would do. So, naturally, it didn't turn off, but Mum thinks it did, and keeps talking with exorbitant volume.

In the dressing room.

I gave up at this point, tried on my stuff, it was all too short, and I leave the dressing room.

Later Mum's like, "I could barely hear her- it's like it wasn't coming out of the ear piece."

Um, maybe that's because SPEAKER PHONE DOESN'T COME OUT OF THE EAR PIECE????

Some people are flat out technology-retarded. Like when my grandparents had their accident in South Carolina, my grandmother had to have the police officer show her how to use her cell phone.

IT'S LIKE A REGULAR PHONE.

I don't get it, and apparently, neither do they.

Furthermore, people should only be able to utilize the things/technologies they understand.

Which brings me to my next point:

Now that I believe in the stock market, I'm going to start investing in it. However, I'm reading up on all my options from an investing book I bought at a thrift store for 50 cents. I hope the book was a good investment. Hbarf.

That's like we were playing Shang-Hai Rummy the other night, and Cleve had used up his two buys, and then someone discarded a card he really wanted, so he was upset that he couldn't buy it, and I was like, "Hey- let bygones be bygones. Like- literally, BUY-gones. Your buys are gone. Bygones. Yeah."

Last night, I had a dream Cleve and I broke up. And it's like we knew we were going to get back together, so we were both in high spirits about it. I forgot what we broke up about (or maybe I never knew). You know how dreams are. Or at least you know how my dreams are.

Did you feel like your thoughts were semantic

While you were in the middle of the Atlantic,

T.T.

Peter

I bought my mum a laundry basket for Christmas. It's really big. And covered in newspaper. Well, until tonight. For a couple years now, we've done the tradition of opening all presents Christmas Eve after church. It helps everyone sleep a little better. Even Santa.

And to make it not so conspicuous, I had to move something else large out of my room, that being Errol Flynn. He's out in the workshop, not because he's broken, but because I'm FINALLY GOING TO RECORD MY MUSIC. I've got about 2 albums/28 songs worth. Any minute now, Dad's going supposed to help me set it up. It's been any minute now since 11th grade. And I'm still hopeful.

If you put pepperoni on my cat, you'd have Pete-za. Think about it.

I laughed so hard at that Geico commercial- when they're at the antique roadshow and she has a bird in a hand, and the guy's like, "I think it's safe to say that it's definitely worth two in the bush." And the lady's like, "Are you SERIOUS!?!?!?"

"LOL."

That was for you, Beth. And, also, I've decided not to sell myself for money. I thought you'd like to know, since this was due to such excellent advice.

Moving on:

I organized my mum's entire thread collection today. It was ridiculous how much she had and where all she had it. So, being the business student that I am, I fashioned a system to reduce inventory costs. Not really, because spools are more supplies than they are merchandise. But nevertheless, the drawers are all color-coincided (like pinks don't start in one drawer and continue to the next one) and spares are kept in a separate drawer. It was a job, and Todd made it harder by batting at everything.

And then we made our own crescent rolls. I really like dough; you can lob it wherever you want, slam it down, punch it, pull it, prod it, poke it, and it doesn't get its feelings hurt. And then Pillsbury had to go invent the Dough Boy and ruin everything.

How about some herbal tea?

How about not.

I am REALLY looking forward to this evening. Here's why:

1. New jumper + grey shirt and tights = GOOD

2. Church service with Cleve, maybe we'll see Peter

(or maybe Peter will see me. o.0)

3. Road trip! Seriously, this church is like 20-25 minutes away

4. Grandparents house: FRUIT PUNCH shrimp and dip CRACKERS celery CHEESE and wine for everyone else.

I seriously have this newfound love affair with cheese. We met in the refrigerator, and I haven't been able to think about anything else since.

5. Cleve's present! I have no idea what he got me, but it's usually awesome. I mean, I still wear my black chucks. Maybe he got me sweater tights. Doubtful, but not impossible. Just very unlikely.

6. Kittens! And fire! And everything else I love about being home. :)

You may be wondering why the title of this post is Peter.

It just seemed like a good name for a post.

For those of you allergic to Facebook, my new favorite song is an old country favorite by Marty Robbins called El Paso. This isn't your Jason-Aldein-Tractor-Sex-hate-my-wife-country music, okay? This is your old-time borderline-folk country.

And I like folk.

So here are some lyrics:

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
I fell in love with a Mexican girl.
Night-time would find me in Rosa's cantina;
Music would play and Felina would whirl.

Isn't that just MAGICAL? It's like in 6/8 time and it's so hunky-dory, which is why I love it so much.

I think the moment has finally come.

Special features on these albums: harmony that I do with myself, a song completely in Italian (see Io Canto Italiano), and even a song featuring a harmonica solo. It's really something. Let's go be famous.

Bells and whistles,

T.T.

Capscision

Life is going to be awesome.

I just know it.

Inspired,
T.T.

But this might have to turn into a fashion blog. So be warned.

Indexed

So I've been off an entire week now and have succeeded in making two articles of clothing: a skirt and a cowl-neck dress. You may have seen the fotos on Phacebook of my summer collection, which wasn't necessarily this summer (I mean, there were 15 pieces- geez!), and actually only 5 of those were from summer 2010. Anywho, I will make it a priority to put my pieces into pictures, my pictures into seasons, and my seasons on Facebook. Real talk. I'm already planning out winter... There will be no fall. It'll be just like this year. Hot until middle of November and then BAM: cold.

Todd thinks my laptop's chewy.
I think Todd's chewy.

But other than that, no news. People don't realize how long it takes to make something, and make it look good.asssssszz

That was Todd's contribution to this post.

I have had a few weird dreams, though. And since I'm awesome and remember to write them down, I can now share them with you. Here are a few ones from this semester:

August 20- I napped for like an hour

I had this dream that it was the end of senior year and Beth and I were being silly. Someone was giving a speech, or at least trying to, ad then I'd sing the last part of America the Beautiful "from sea to shining sea" really shrilly. It was really annoying the speaker. So when he finished, I went up to the podium, but I was laughing already and some guy, who I think is George Bush Sr., tickles me from behind and so I get out the way, all the while thinking that later I'll be able to tell people that I was tickled by George H. Bush! (but it wasn't George Bush)

So after the assembly, we had to climb down four flights of stairs. But for some reason, it was REALLY hard for me. Everyone was already way ahead of me because I was hung up on this thing (??) I was tied up and remember seeing Beth walking away, but then I kept thinking what a great story this all would make, and slowly untied myself and made it to the stairs.

The tricky thing about these stairs though is that once you got to the bottom, it'd reset you to the stop, sort of like Escher's stairs, but not. So I think I tried to climb bottom to top? I got really frustrated and somewhere along the way I saw a rat hatching from an egg. It was scared of me.

So I finally made it and Patrick and I exchange words, about what I don't know.

Then I'm leaving to go home and I'm stopped by this guy Robert Lynch, who introduces himself. Note: at this point in my life, I do not know anyone by that name. So we're talking, and I say my name is Allison Jansen but I keep messing it up and it's that really awkward conversation that happens in a crowded hallway and you can't really understand what the other person is saying. I remember babbling about the guy in the Olympics with the last name Jansen, so he'll try to remember it, but he obviously doesn't care. I don't know why I just didn't say Allie.

Finally, I go to leave and he gives me a hand shake, and then like a side hug, and then wants to kiss me and I'm like NO!!!! So I run away to those blasted stairs again, but I make it this time, and then all of the sudden, I'm in Biff and Dan's living room/kitchen area and Cleve's there, and I tell them everything that happened. I think Lynch showed up again, but with Cleve and family there, I didn't feel threatened at all.

October 6

I had this dream that I went to church and Cleve was already there and he was standing in the back wearing only these ugly light blue swimming trunks. Like- no shirt or shoes. In church. I remember being embarrassed to be seen with him.

November 2

I had this dream that I was at home making dinner or something, and Caleb from work was there for some reason, and he spanked me. I can honestly say it's the only time I've ever been spanked in my sleep.

November 5

I had a dream that I was in the IT building with other Accounting Association people, and we were planning our social for the fall. Kaity Culberson (or someone who looked like her) suggested we do an African/jungle theme. I got all excited because I remember I had that tribal looking skirt, but then I got all sad because it was at home and I realized that I couldn't go there to pick it up because I wasn't going home between then and the party. *disappointment over a skirt*

December 16 I had this last night. The George Bush theme is starting to freak me out.

I had a dream that I was in a theatre watching this really epic movie with George W. Bush. This movie was like really epic- like Hamlet and Gladiator and all those types of movies into one huge one, and it was somewhere between 5 and 7 hours long. When there was 2 hours left to go, I thought, "Man- why would the producers put together such a long movie if it can only make so much money?"

George went to go check for his wife and left me with this letter/e-mail from Laura and here is what I remember from reading it
-Her flight was supposed to be coming in around 7:45-8

-Her plans about transportation

-How he did a great job with his "matri-d" speech (??)

Apparently, Laura wrote the speech, and he delivered it.

So when George gets up to go see where she is, I remember that the movie was at the part where an army of white horses is galloping across a plain with an aerial view, and I think, "Man! That's a lot of horses!" Some young guy comes up to me and says, "Have you seen my dad?" And, thinking he was George's son (even though I know George Bush doesn't HAVE a son), I pointed to George walking away. The guy follows him, and then turns around and gives me a scathing look and a head shake. Apparently, George wasn't his dad. Shocker.

And that is all for now.

Some dude with whom my dad works is having an open house with food. So we're going in about an hour, which gives me time to internet shop (eBay!!!). I'm kind of at a standstill with my new projects because I'm not quite sure how to do button holes, and I don't know if I should use a regular needle with the sparkly stuff.

Yeah, I'm going to start wearing sparkly stuff.

Oyster crackers,

T.T.

Deductive Reasoning Doesn't Work

Here's proof:

Major Premise: Booties are heels. TRUE

Minor Premise: Heels with peep-toes are awesome. TRUE

Conclusion: Booties with peep-toes are awesome. FALSE

I just don't see where I went wrong.

And I made a 101 in Accounting. It's kind of a big deal.

Gubernatorial is a great word,

T.T.

Registration Invoice and Web Payment

"It's the third link under Student Records."

That's like all I ever tell people. And I just thought you'd like to hear.

Things to which to look forward:
1. DISNEY WORLD
2. End of Statistics- forever!
3. Cantatatatatatas.
4. Chrima.

How's about my mum sends me this little e-mail that's like, "Get an internship over winter break!" and my mum's like, "Thought you could look at this since you'll be home for 5 weeks!" And so I go to the website for the website's sake, and they're only offering fall and spring internships (so they told untruths) and closest ones were in Macon County. WHY would I want to work over my break anyway? A break is supposed to be a break. A timeframe in which to spend the sweet cash I've earned sitting here in this very chair. Or that one over there.

Although, please tell me how it is fair that ______ can go with ______ to Chick-Fil-A to get lunch while he's still on the clock and I have to sit here and answer phones.

(Hint: it's not)

I feel like such activity should be reported. Some wrists should be slapped. Or at least I should get a chicken sandwich.

A critic could whine: "But you're here blogging."
Yes- but I am HERE. That's the difference. "And there's your trouble, there's you trouble, seeing double with the wrong one..."

Remember inverted water? I have some on my desk right now. Cleve was telling me of this guy who had these glasses that made his vision upside down. He kept wearing them, and then one day, he woke up and the glasses made everything right side up because his brain had reversed the image. And so then he saw things upside down without the glasses. I don't know if I buy that because sometimes Cleve believes stupid things (like when we first watched Paranormal Activity, he thought it was real before I told him it wasn't). And wouldn't his vision switch back if he stopped wearing the glasses? Would he have dreams that were upside down?

That reminds me: Inception was awesome. It's a movie I'm going to have to see again. Partly because I missed the beginning due to the sticker shock of the price of popcorn, and partly because it's so mind-enthralling. I also love movies that make me think like that. I also love movies with social epicness- like Fight Club or the Shawshank Redemption. And those with interpretive endings. (like was he dreaming or did he really make it home OMG- IDK!?!??)

URG- don't you hate when people sign e-mails/letters with "Best" and then their name? I really hate that. It's like- if you really meant it, you'd be more sincere than just one word. Like "Best Wishes" or "Best of luck" is acceptable. But just "Best"? It ruins the context for me.

I really want a chicken sandwich and some fries right now. I ate lunch early because I finished my accounting final early, and now I've got the appetite of a fat kid. Mum made the best beef brisket last night- flavored with barbecuey GOODNESS. I ate so much. And the brisket is the chest of a cow- the meat in front of the ribs. I know this from my 211 Things A Clever Girl Can Do book. Very handy.

*Car alarm*

Goal for upcoming break: To make it go by as SLOW as possible. I know I want to graduate asap, but there's no since in hurrying the break along. Erego, I shall write every day and make sure I do something significant every day so that the days don't blend into one another like they tend to do over streches of inactivity. Playing with kittens makes a weekend go by REALLY quickly. It also explains the cuts on my arms. I look like an emo kid, PETE!

So a woman has twins and names them Wan and Amal. One day, Amal goes fishing with his dad. The woman's friend comes over to see the twins, and she's disappointed when she gets there because Amal is gone and doesn't get to see him. And then the mother says, "Well, if you've seen Wan, you've seen Amal."

Best,
T.T.

Now you know what I'm talking about.

Romper ≠ Jumper

It's December now, so I figured it'd be appropriate to update.
Also, it's Phony Smile Day.
Too bad the Christmas Party wasn't today.
That would've been appropriate.
Ha.

As far as appropriacy goes, this paragraph's content is inappropriate. All week, I have been really wanting to say/use the B-word. Sometimes I think it would just really enhance my sentences/add more emphasis to its meaning. I don't know where this sporatic impulse came from, but I doubt it will come to fruition, unfortunately. If it did, it wouldn't be as glorious as it sounds and I'd get all guilty because that's what I do, and if it was as glorious as I think it will be, then I'd continue to say such atrocities, and that's, um, not nice.
So it's a lose-lose situation.

I was almost sure there was a grammatical error in my management information systems book. The title of a section is called "IT'S ROLE IN THE SUPPLY CHAIN" written in all caps just like that and I thought for sure they meant "Its role in the supply chain" and it really delayed my studying for a few minutes. Then I realized that IT is an acronym for Information Technology.

Also, I have a claim to fame. You know the Police Beat in the school newspaper, which could also be named the be-aware-of-the-drunkards-and-criminals-in-your-community? Yeah. Anyway, I went to the spa on Tuesday with Cleve and since I finished changing way before him (I know- by all the counts it doesn't make sense), I was able to find some keys sitting on the side of the pool. So I turned them in to the lifeguard, and that was my heroical act of the day. The George-Anne states: "A set of keys were found at the RAC."
That was because of me.
*phony smile*

I don't get the fascination with bags- er, purses. Or "pocketbooks". In what way is a satchel the size of a pork roast related to a pocket or a book? Furthermore, how can they be "cute"? It's big, brown, and leather- which means it probably will smell like dead cow. And there's nothing cute about a dead cow.

Yeah, I know how to strike through words now. WHAT*?

*That would've been an awesome opportunity for the word I've been itching to say all week**.
**I feel so NAUGHTY***.
***Just like when Davy puts that catepillar down that girl's back in the middle of church and Anne tells him that it's not something that Paul would've done because he's a gentleman****.
****See Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery*****.
*****Look!*************Stars!********************

It's good that not a lot of traffic's coming through our office. Otherwise, all of the good candy would be gone. Oh- and I wouldn't be blogging.

It got all cold outside. I figured I'd let you know in case you were inside an office all day. Like me. :( (but I have a job that makes money) :)

In fact, the other day at work I got seriously concerned that I had restless leg syndrome. I'm not really sure what it is or what it entails, but I know something was weird. I was sitting here, just like I am now, but my legs (or if you're brother-in-law: LAYGS. AYGS. AYghty! ok. I'm done) ached for no good reason. It felt sort of like growing pains, but I mean, come on- I'm tall enough already. And this wasn't how growing pain normally feels. I just had this strong inclination to move really fast: like take off my shoes, run around a bit, jumping jacks... I was just so tired of being still. So I spent the last hour and a half of work standing. And then I went home and while I was cooking dinner, I pulled Cleve off the bed (where he normally lounges, SO helpfully, while I run around cooking) and I'm like, "I NEED to do this!" and he finally moved, and I got on my back on my bed and bounced up and down using vertical leg momentum. It was phenomenal. And then I fell off the bed in a fit of hysteria. Cleve just watched me. And then I went back to cooking dinner.

Sorry if this blog is turning into a medical illness journal. "My fingers are being weird" "My legs hurt". Apologies if these things do not interest you.

I just had a really weird incident. The phone rang.
Me: "Student Accounts!"
Other guy: "Hey..."
Me: "...Hi?"
Other guy: "What're you doing?"
At this point I thought it was some upper management spy watching me blog or something.
Me: "...Working?"
*pause*
Other guy: "Is this Angie?"
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH you wanted to speak to my boss ok this makes way more sense and you thought I was her and so you started talking ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh
See- this is what kind of confusion ensues when you have phones that roll. He called her direct line, she wasn't there, so it rolled back around to the front office.
Creepy.

Today, for the first time in my life, I listened to an iPod on my walk to school. Only since Apple is gay and doesn't charge things properly even though the last time I added songs it seemed to have been charged all the way, the battery sign was a depressing red blip, and it cut out not 5 minutes into my 20 minute walk. But then I turned it back on and it worked for the rest of the time, though the battery thing was like, "Fine- you want to push the envelope? I'll keep playing music for you until I am severely all out of juice." And then in economics, it somehow turned on all by itself, and then I discovered the Hold button.
Because Apple products are so dang touchy and Fisher-Price-like that they require a Hold button.

And then I made an A on the test and a 105 in the last economics class of my life. It was quite monumental.

My statistics teacher pronounces labels like "La-bells" and the letter z like the letter g,
T.T.

P.S. He's from Korea.