Does anyone know of a good way to use approximately 6 ounces of cranberries? I bought them a while back thinking they'd be a healthy snack, but have turned out to taste like sour crabapples.
And anyone who's been in the field behind my house knows all about crabapples.
So any recipes or ideas? I'm not opposed to meats with weird fruit sauces on them.
Oh my goodness. Did you hear that lady's laugh?
YIKES.
Like- you know that sound a balloon makes when you stretch the neck of it and let the air out of it slowly and painfully?
That's how this lady's laugh was.
This might be one of the most boring posts that I've had in a while, but every so often, I have to include one of these to make my other posts more outstanding. It's the same reason I listen to bad music sometimes. It makes the good music that much better.
True story.
On a scale of 1 to 11, this next part is probably one of the nerdiest things I've ever done.
"But Allie, you didn't use the scale."
Precisely.
Back story:
I don't like where I live anymore, so I'm going to be moving out soon.
Ish.
And apparently "ish" means 7 months.
My lease comes due in the summer, and then maybe I will be able to poop without an audience.
Too much information?
Too bad.
I'm tired of the fishy smells, the loud music, the armed robberies, and the irrational usage of toilet paper.
Moving out gives me something to look forward to- enough to make me giddy with glee. So I then proceeded to (here's the REALLY nerdy part) make an outline of the things I need to organize and how I'm going to go about organizing them so as to streamline moving out.
It's brilliant, right?
It's also four pages long.
So as a reference, I posted it as a separate "page" on my blog because Blogger was like, "Hey! You don't have any pages yet!"
And I was like, "Yeah? Well guess what I'm going to do today!"
And they were like, "What?"
And I was like, "Make a page."
And they were like, "Great! Do you want your pages to be up, down, all around town, or just link them manually?"
And I was like, "Link manually so that NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE THEM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. MUAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Not really.
But almost.
And you'll get to appreciate my outline html skillz that I developed about an hour ago.
I really could not be a programmer.
Ever.
Anyway, the first part of the outline under "Buy" kind of counts as my Christmas wish list. It's just a list of a few simple devices I'd like to have for my move on to the next life.
Geez- I sound like I'm dying.
So, finally, here is the link:
Organs.
It will either inspire you, entertain you, or make you want to high five someone in the face with a chair.
And that someone would be me,
TWS
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Cincinnography
So I went to Ohio last week.
Listen to this while you peruse. I timed it perfectly, so if you're finished with the pictures before the song ends, you didn't look at them long enough.
Don't worry. It gets a lot better after this blurry picture:
Joe: "Allie, you've never seen mountains before?"
Me: "No."
I was trying to get a picture of all the pretty trees, but instead got a wonderful portrait of Mark's cinnabun and Joe's sock.
*a Dave Matthews band song comes on*
Joe: YES!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave: Oh! Dave Matthews Band! Back when he wrote original stuff!
Joe: Yeah- DMB.
Dave: Just because you call it by the initials doesn't make you cool.
Joe: I know. Being me makes me cool.
Then we arrived.
And somehow Joe got in all of my city pictures.
The 20th floor of the Millennium:
Have you ever walked to Kentucky?
I DID.
What does it all MEAN!?!?!?
And what were they looking at so intensely?
Le football stadium.
It was a great (hair) day.
And then we came across some interactive murals:
And then we got down to business.
Sort of.
And then Joe didn't want to take a picture with me.
"Still photos and noisy arcades..."
-Owl City
And then night happened:
Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you.
And just because it's iced tea doesn't mean it's sweet,
TWS
Listen to this while you peruse. I timed it perfectly, so if you're finished with the pictures before the song ends, you didn't look at them long enough.
Don't worry. It gets a lot better after this blurry picture:
Joe: "Allie, you've never seen mountains before?"
Me: "No."
I was trying to get a picture of all the pretty trees, but instead got a wonderful portrait of Mark's cinnabun and Joe's sock.
*a Dave Matthews band song comes on*
Joe: YES!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave: Oh! Dave Matthews Band! Back when he wrote original stuff!
Joe: Yeah- DMB.
Dave: Just because you call it by the initials doesn't make you cool.
Joe: I know. Being me makes me cool.
Then we arrived.
And somehow Joe got in all of my city pictures.
The 20th floor of the Millennium:
Have you ever walked to Kentucky?
I DID.
What does it all MEAN!?!?!?
And what were they looking at so intensely?
Le football stadium.
It was a great (hair) day.
And then we came across some interactive murals:
And then we got down to business.
Sort of.
And then Joe didn't want to take a picture with me.
"Still photos and noisy arcades..."
-Owl City
And then night happened:
Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you.
And just because it's iced tea doesn't mean it's sweet,
TWS
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Subject to cutback adjustment
Tax exams are more impossible than unicorns.
I wonder if the number of hours studying is directly correlated to the percentage grade of the test. If so, I'm pretty sure I made about a 14.
But I recovered my flash drive.
The degree to which the goodness outweighs the terribleness in this situation is trivial. It's comparable to the amount that you would include in miscellaneous itemized deductions after the 2% of adjusted gross income floor.
I feel like a §1244 worthless security.
At a (net operating) loss,
TWS
I wonder if the number of hours studying is directly correlated to the percentage grade of the test. If so, I'm pretty sure I made about a 14.
But I recovered my flash drive.
The degree to which the goodness outweighs the terribleness in this situation is trivial. It's comparable to the amount that you would include in miscellaneous itemized deductions after the 2% of adjusted gross income floor.
I feel like a §1244 worthless security.
At a (net operating) loss,
TWS
Sunday, November 6, 2011
The Whimsical Anniversary
I figured I'd do a 1 year anniversary post for November 6th.
So happy 1 year, me.
If you want to be amazed, consider that I started blogging in 7th grade.
I was 13 and obsessed with Orlando Bloom. Like OB-sessed. True story.
In case you all have never looked up the word "whimsical", here it is:
Playfully quaint or fanciful, esp. in an appealing and amusing way.
If and when I die, I'd like that somewhere in my eulogy.
Just sayin'.
*cue The Band Perry right here*
I dressed up like a sorority girl for Halloween:
Oversized t-shirt + leggings + flipflops/Ugg boots = sororitastic
Not because I want to be one, but because this is what they typically wear.
The aviators were just a bonus.
Flip flops in the summer, Ugg boots when it gets colder.
But I didn't have any Ugg boots.
Because I think they're Ugg-ly.
I've decided that I want to teach a class. It would be a variation on a public speaking class.
WHAT? ALLIE? TEACHING? PUBLIC SPEAKING?
Settle down, Esmerelda.
Anyway- this class would be on presentations. More specifically, it would be a two-day seminar on the fundamental no-nos of creating and presenting Powerpoint presentations.
The first morning, I would teach everyone how to use powerpoint in an non-annoying manner. That afternoon, I would teach everyone how to present their non-annoying presentation in a non-annoying way. For homework, I'd assign them a topic for which they must make a presentation.
The second class, they make their presentations. And then if they do everything up to acceptable standards, they get an A. If not, they fail and have to retake the class. No Bs, Cs, or Ds because this is an Allie J class, and I have zero tolerance for slackers.
Also, I would make it a MANDATORY course. Especially for business students.
Why?
Because apparently people in college still read from the slides and don't realize how boring, annoying and ridiculous that particular behavior is.
In reality, powerpoint presentations are so easy that even mushrooms could do them in their sleep. I'm convinced that it has become a widely-accepted form of communication, and so it is a necessary skill to be able to make coherent, social interactions in which you treat your audience more like people and less like deaf vegetables.
I also think I am extremely qualified to teach a public speaking/presentation course because I personally was so terrible at it in the past. I mean- I used to freaking burst into tears when talking to a group of people. So, I can honestly say I have been there through all the terribleness, and I'd serve as a complete 180 testimonial to my pupils.
I hate that word.
Pupils.
Ugh.
But that's probably how I'd introduce the course. People always like true stories.
*wink*
(that was a prop unto myself)
So what do you guys think? Is it a good way to make dynamic individuals out of monotonic schlubs? Man, I really wish there was a way I could do this.
A face-to-face class would be more beneficial, but perhaps I'd make more money if I sold my ideas on a disk as an on-line course.
Business Idea #11.
(Business Idea #10 was mechanical colored pencils.)
I also want to teach a Facebook-status writing class, but I don't think that would go over well, seeing as how people would claim how using caps lock and bad grammar is a form of "expression" and I'd be encroaching on their 1st amendment rights.
So I just find it easier to "remove" the linguistic abusers.
Yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about.
I didn't see my archnemesis in the stairwell after tax class today like usual. I see him every once in a while on campus, lurking where he ought not to lurk. You guys probably didn't even know I had an archnemesis. But I do. It makes my life that much more like a comic book, complete with illustrated laughing squares and sound effects.
*during dinner at El Som*
Me: So I don't want to go to grad school anymore.
Mike: What?!?! Where is this coming from? WHY?
Me *crying*: Because I don't feel like it!!!!
Despite my flawless reasoning right there, I've decided to stick with grad school and become a CPA if not for anything more than the lolz.
Sure, there's job opportunities and networking and promotions and raises and prestige.
But it'll mainly be for the lolz.
(and I can still go to Chicago)
I have just been worrying and crying a lot for no particular reason lately.
It feels like this:
But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know I got this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.
-Young Pilgrims; the Shins
Soul'd out,
TWS
So happy 1 year, me.
If you want to be amazed, consider that I started blogging in 7th grade.
I was 13 and obsessed with Orlando Bloom. Like OB-sessed. True story.
In case you all have never looked up the word "whimsical", here it is:
Playfully quaint or fanciful, esp. in an appealing and amusing way.
If and when I die, I'd like that somewhere in my eulogy.
Just sayin'.
*cue The Band Perry right here*
I dressed up like a sorority girl for Halloween:
Oversized t-shirt + leggings + flipflops/Ugg boots = sororitastic
Not because I want to be one, but because this is what they typically wear.
The aviators were just a bonus.
Flip flops in the summer, Ugg boots when it gets colder.
But I didn't have any Ugg boots.
Because I think they're Ugg-ly.
I've decided that I want to teach a class. It would be a variation on a public speaking class.
WHAT? ALLIE? TEACHING? PUBLIC SPEAKING?
Settle down, Esmerelda.
Anyway- this class would be on presentations. More specifically, it would be a two-day seminar on the fundamental no-nos of creating and presenting Powerpoint presentations.
The first morning, I would teach everyone how to use powerpoint in an non-annoying manner. That afternoon, I would teach everyone how to present their non-annoying presentation in a non-annoying way. For homework, I'd assign them a topic for which they must make a presentation.
The second class, they make their presentations. And then if they do everything up to acceptable standards, they get an A. If not, they fail and have to retake the class. No Bs, Cs, or Ds because this is an Allie J class, and I have zero tolerance for slackers.
Also, I would make it a MANDATORY course. Especially for business students.
Why?
Because apparently people in college still read from the slides and don't realize how boring, annoying and ridiculous that particular behavior is.
In reality, powerpoint presentations are so easy that even mushrooms could do them in their sleep. I'm convinced that it has become a widely-accepted form of communication, and so it is a necessary skill to be able to make coherent, social interactions in which you treat your audience more like people and less like deaf vegetables.
I also think I am extremely qualified to teach a public speaking/presentation course because I personally was so terrible at it in the past. I mean- I used to freaking burst into tears when talking to a group of people. So, I can honestly say I have been there through all the terribleness, and I'd serve as a complete 180 testimonial to my pupils.
I hate that word.
Pupils.
Ugh.
But that's probably how I'd introduce the course. People always like true stories.
*wink*
(that was a prop unto myself)
So what do you guys think? Is it a good way to make dynamic individuals out of monotonic schlubs? Man, I really wish there was a way I could do this.
A face-to-face class would be more beneficial, but perhaps I'd make more money if I sold my ideas on a disk as an on-line course.
Business Idea #11.
(Business Idea #10 was mechanical colored pencils.)
I also want to teach a Facebook-status writing class, but I don't think that would go over well, seeing as how people would claim how using caps lock and bad grammar is a form of "expression" and I'd be encroaching on their 1st amendment rights.
So I just find it easier to "remove" the linguistic abusers.
Yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about.
I didn't see my archnemesis in the stairwell after tax class today like usual. I see him every once in a while on campus, lurking where he ought not to lurk. You guys probably didn't even know I had an archnemesis. But I do. It makes my life that much more like a comic book, complete with illustrated laughing squares and sound effects.
*during dinner at El Som*
Me: So I don't want to go to grad school anymore.
Mike: What?!?! Where is this coming from? WHY?
Me *crying*: Because I don't feel like it!!!!
Despite my flawless reasoning right there, I've decided to stick with grad school and become a CPA if not for anything more than the lolz.
Sure, there's job opportunities and networking and promotions and raises and prestige.
But it'll mainly be for the lolz.
(and I can still go to Chicago)
I have just been worrying and crying a lot for no particular reason lately.
It feels like this:
But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know I got this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.
-Young Pilgrims; the Shins
Soul'd out,
TWS
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