Fare Thee Well

I'm feeling particularly introverted today.

Sometimes I google things like, "I don't want to hang out with my friends" to read forums where people share the same sentiments as me.

Or I watch this video and skip to 3:18 to remind myself that I am not the only person in the world who feels like this.
In fact, I'm married to a person just like this.

I guess I'm having trouble finding the line between selfishness vs being myself.

It's about to get really honest up in here. I hope you're ready for it.

So I feel like I'm a bad Christian because I don't like hanging out with people.
How can you show that you love someone without spending time with them?

One of the hardest things for me to do is to commit to some social engagement after work because it it takes so much energy.

Work already brings me from like 100% to about 35% (on Fridays, I'm at like 50% because I usually have the afternoons to myself). I use the remaining 35% of energy to make dinner, clean the house or the yard, exercise, and then some type of hobby to relax and recharge before I have to get up and do it all over again.

People think that the worst thing about working late is having to do work for later than usual.
No, no, no.
The worst thing about working late is having to be around people and noise and phones for that much longer, all the while knowing that the opportunity cost of working late is sweet, quiet time alone.

Weekends are hard to commit, too, because those two days are like a mini stay-cation  of free time and true rest.
Hanging out with people is not a relaxing activity to me. I love the days where I can just chill because there is no where I have to be and no one is expecting me to show up.

And this isn't your social-anxiety I-don't-want-to-hang-out-with-people-because-I-feel-judged-around-them.
It's just, I'd really just rather be alone.
It's not anything against you, it's just that I kind of feel like being alone right now.
And almost all of the other times you want to hang out.

I can't 'splain it. It just is.

So what's selfish and what's not?

Small talk is the worst,
TWS

5 O'Clock Shadow

A tetris tile-shaped comic for yer aye-bawlz:

Verily, verily, 

TWS

Future Me

There exists in an undetermined amount of time, God willing,  a person called Future Allie.

I'm always trying to do things in the present now so that Future Allie can enjoy the benefits later. Sometimes, though, I slack and leave decisions or chores to Future Allie, which is called "procrastination".
She hates that.

Most of the time though, I'm on top of my game, and Future Allie benefits greatly because of the diligence, consistency, and hard-work that I do. To spur her on even more, I wrote her a letter January 30th to be delivered on July 9th.

My notes are in bold italiceez.

 Dear Future Allie,

Are you still working at Gulfstream, and do you still like your job? Was it terrible having to work July 4th weekend and holiday?

This was written about a month after the RIF and there were rumors of another reduction after 1Q. Yes, I'm still working there, yes, I still like it, and yes, it was kind of terrible having to work that weekend.

I have some good news for you, though: IT'S SUMMER. You should, like, go to the pool every other day and the beach every other weekend. Take some friends from church or something.

Yes, I should. But I don't. Future Allie might, though.

What's the house debt looking like? Right now, it's about $170k, but Mike's about to pay it down next week to $167 something.

Almost at $150k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you probably get this a lot, but you should drink more water and eat more vitamins.

I have been drinking more water since I started working out more! Past Allie would be so proud. I don't take vitamins because I like to get them from real food. Although, iron supplements probably would be a good idea. 

Stay cool.

Love,
Me

I'm going to go write another letter to Future Allie 6 months from now. I use FutureMe.org, if you wanted to try it, too.
 
I wish there was format painter for blogspot because now my fonts are all messed up,
TWS

Pink Martini

TWS

Self-Aware

I fell down the stairs the other night.

I was carrying Sam and wearing socks and I guess I slipped because the next thing I know, I was on the floor with no cat, and I couldn't breathe or move.

When you haven't had the wind knocked out of you in a really long time, it is really scary.
Actually, it's really scary any time it happens.

Mike came rushing to the scene, of course. Thankfully, I was able to start breathing again and get up with no spinal injuries. My back was sore for two days, and now it's fine, but my butt...

Oh, my poor butt.

I bruised it so bad that the bruise didn't even want to show up for a day and a half.
And then it got black. And then it got yellow. And now it's kind of green but also purple and more tender than 4-piece chicken nuggets.

Remember when you used to be able to get 5 chicken nuggets for $1?
And then they went up to like $1.19 but they still had spicy chicken nuggets for $1?
But now they don't have either.
They have like 10 chicken nuggets plus a drink for like $5.99 (ridonkey donk) and 4 chicken nuggets for a $1.

And the bruise on my butt is more tender than any of them.

But I'm a workin' man! I can't just take a day off because I fell down some stairs!
Come on, now, kid; let's get up and go do some HIIT running!!!!!

So I went to go do said running.
Because of good genes and the 30+ squats I do every day, I have some junk in my trunk.
Some boom boom in my bass.
Some maximus on my gluteus.

And I did not realize how bouncy I was until I went running with that bruise because every step, every jog, every wiggle, every waggle...

I felt it.

I felt the gravitational pull of the earth dragging my bruised butt down with it and then popping it back up when I hopped to the other foot.

At first, it startled and surprised me. Like that time I figured out that "Big K" cola comes from Kroger and not K-Mart.

But then the events of the night before came flooding into my memory.

I still did the HIIT, though, because I felt badass even when my ass felt bad.

The quiet things that no one ever knows,
TWS

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows; Brand New