How people sit at work:
How I sit at work:
It's the first day I don't wear my big boots,
TWS
Burgundy Shoes, Patty Griffin
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Etchings
Brought to you by Not Studying for the CPA Exam, LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Procrastination, Inc.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Truth
Earlier in the week, I was asked to take a survey consisting of ranking certain personality traits and values from 1 to 18. And since I'm just so good at ranking stuff (see previous post), I decided to do this survey.
What ranked number one?
Honesty, of course.
Because without honesty and truth, how can you know that anything else is even real?
And I like Chinese food now,
TWS
What ranked number one?
Honesty, of course.
Because without honesty and truth, how can you know that anything else is even real?
And I like Chinese food now,
TWS
Monday, October 21, 2013
Grass
There are few things worse than small talk.
That's a primary source right there.
"Did you make that in Paint?"
Yes, yes I did,
TWS
That's a primary source right there.
"Did you make that in Paint?"
Yes, yes I did,
TWS
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Box
I feel like life was so much more interesting in the past. I had things.
Things like a diary, swim meets, enemies and an appendix.
I put together a box today. 5 boxes, actually.
It was just that the first one took me a while because it wasn't your average box. It had like handles and stuff and a box that went inside of another box and wire. So yeah- not the average box.
And putting together that box was the biggest achievement I've had all week.
A box.
All week.
My life srsly needs a stimulus package.
Sometimes, I try to think about things differently to make things more interesting.
Thinking outside the box, if you will.
For example, I was reading through Luke the other night, specifically the story where Jesus calms the storm.
Here's how it goes:
Luke 8:22-25
One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"
He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm.
"Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."
I think I read the Bible a little bit differently than other people do. I mean, I take things at face value, but I'm always kind of wondering, "Ok- what was it really like?"
And for this story, I imagine that the disciples are all hanging about on deck, goofing off- kind of like you do at work when the boss isn't around. They were probably playing cards or pogs or patty cake, you know, just hanging out.
Then, I imagine one of those summer storms came up immediately with lightning and thunder and no real warning. The boat started to toss side to side in the waves, and the disciples scrambled to put all their toys and travel games away lest they get wet.
"Drop the canvas!" yelled John to the crew.
"She can hold a bit longer!" yelled Captain Jack Sparrow.
Phillip and Bartholomew tried to hoist the anchor, but it wouldn't budge. The rain suddenly began to come down in torrents, and the wind rushed about so loudly, it became hard to hear or see anyone else in the midst of the storm. The boat rocked and shook more violently, and Andrew, though a remarkable fisherman, was trying desperately in the corner not to lose is lunch all over the deck.
Just then, a huge wave crashed over the side of the boat, scaring the hell out of the disciples.
"JESUS CHRIST!" James yelled in exasperation.
Jesus Christ, hearing the summons from below, emerged from the hull to see what all the racket was about. Upon seeing Hurricane Katrina and Poseidon trolling his followers, he motioned for them to cut it out, and the storm subsided and the sea became calm once again.
It's got lots to do with magnets and the pull of the moon,
TWS
Poke; Frightened Rabbit
Things like a diary, swim meets, enemies and an appendix.
I put together a box today. 5 boxes, actually.
It was just that the first one took me a while because it wasn't your average box. It had like handles and stuff and a box that went inside of another box and wire. So yeah- not the average box.
And putting together that box was the biggest achievement I've had all week.
A box.
All week.
My life srsly needs a stimulus package.
Sometimes, I try to think about things differently to make things more interesting.
Thinking outside the box, if you will.
For example, I was reading through Luke the other night, specifically the story where Jesus calms the storm.
Here's how it goes:
Luke 8:22-25
One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"
He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm.
"Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."
I think I read the Bible a little bit differently than other people do. I mean, I take things at face value, but I'm always kind of wondering, "Ok- what was it really like?"
And for this story, I imagine that the disciples are all hanging about on deck, goofing off- kind of like you do at work when the boss isn't around. They were probably playing cards or pogs or patty cake, you know, just hanging out.
Then, I imagine one of those summer storms came up immediately with lightning and thunder and no real warning. The boat started to toss side to side in the waves, and the disciples scrambled to put all their toys and travel games away lest they get wet.
"Drop the canvas!" yelled John to the crew.
"She can hold a bit longer!" yelled Captain Jack Sparrow.
Phillip and Bartholomew tried to hoist the anchor, but it wouldn't budge. The rain suddenly began to come down in torrents, and the wind rushed about so loudly, it became hard to hear or see anyone else in the midst of the storm. The boat rocked and shook more violently, and Andrew, though a remarkable fisherman, was trying desperately in the corner not to lose is lunch all over the deck.
Just then, a huge wave crashed over the side of the boat, scaring the hell out of the disciples.
"JESUS CHRIST!" James yelled in exasperation.
Jesus Christ, hearing the summons from below, emerged from the hull to see what all the racket was about. Upon seeing Hurricane Katrina and Poseidon trolling his followers, he motioned for them to cut it out, and the storm subsided and the sea became calm once again.
It's got lots to do with magnets and the pull of the moon,
TWS
Poke; Frightened Rabbit
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Polytetrafluoroethylene
It's annoying when people misspell my last name.
I'm like- it's really not that hard of a last name to spell.
Especially when it's right there at the bottom of the e-mail I just sent you.
I guess people are too good to read signatures.
Like this,
TWS
I'm like- it's really not that hard of a last name to spell.
Especially when it's right there at the bottom of the e-mail I just sent you.
I guess people are too good to read signatures.
Like this,
TWS
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Threat
Today, I turned on my computer, and AVG was like,
HOLY CRAP. YOU HAVE A VIRUS. LET US TAKE CARE OF THE THREAT.
Or, you know, ignore it and suffer eternal doom. lol.
So, I let it do...whatever AVG really does..., and *surprise* AVG is once again the hero of the day.
It seems that every so often, the program has to act like it's doing something fantastic to prove its merit and worth. It feels the need to remind me that viruses are still a problem even though I haven't changed my surfing habits. But it's okay - because the glorious and most holy AVG is there to protect my life and soul from such threats!
I just find it hard to believe that the losers that sat in their moms' basements making the viruses of the early 2000s still get a thrill out of it. I feel like these kinds of viruses are as old and outdated as Ask Jeeves and AOL. The threats should be gone by now because the lols have certainly worn off, and I can't think of a reason why someone would intentionally create a virus just out of sheer boredom. Even when they do, these kids are discovered and then hired to be security consultants to make the world a better place.
True story.
HOLY CRAP. YOU HAVE A VIRUS. LET US TAKE CARE OF THE THREAT.
Or, you know, ignore it and suffer eternal doom. lol.
So, I let it do...whatever AVG really does..., and *surprise* AVG is once again the hero of the day.
It seems that every so often, the program has to act like it's doing something fantastic to prove its merit and worth. It feels the need to remind me that viruses are still a problem even though I haven't changed my surfing habits. But it's okay - because the glorious and most holy AVG is there to protect my life and soul from such threats!
 |
| Skeptical owl is skeptical. |
I just find it hard to believe that the losers that sat in their moms' basements making the viruses of the early 2000s still get a thrill out of it. I feel like these kinds of viruses are as old and outdated as Ask Jeeves and AOL. The threats should be gone by now because the lols have certainly worn off, and I can't think of a reason why someone would intentionally create a virus just out of sheer boredom. Even when they do, these kids are discovered and then hired to be security consultants to make the world a better place.
True story.
(Did you see the one guy from Georgia Southern? We have a top-notch IT program.)
Sidebar: if you're still using AOL, you probably deserve to have viruses.
AVG can't grow a goatee like that,
With viruses came the creation of anti-virus software, which, in my opinion, kind of acts like a virus itself. You install it, and it does creepy things in the background saying it's "running a scan" when I just want it to shut the heck up. Or it wants me to install "updates" for better protection when it just makes my computer run slower.
This leads me to believe the anti-virus software is just "protecting" me from threats that the company it produces itself. This is why nothing ever falls through the cracks with AVG. It somehow magically knows how to handle the virus all the time! What a marvelous coincidence!
The business model is so clear to me now.
Instead of creating viruses to illegally get people's financial information and steal money, they create viruses and simultaneously sell software to protect people from the viruses. They then legally make the money by selling "upgrades" for "better protection", and they keep their reputation legit by offering a free version so that everyone can see how great thou art.
Therefore they bolster their image of being rated the #1 source of anti-virus software and pretty much have a cash cow built on the paranoia and naivety of people who feel the need to pay to upgrade annually when all they do is read the news and check the weather (AOL users).
It seems like a perfect business opportunity considering it takes advantage of a bunch of people who don't know anything. The alternative is that AVG is actually protecting computers from actual outside threats. And that just makes me wonder who is really in the business of making malicious code anymore.
To quote a certain Jack Sparrow: "Who makes all these?"
(Will Turner: I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!)
In this case, AVG is Will Turner. He seems like a brave hero, but he's really just a pirate who's completely obsessed with gold.
AVG can't grow a goatee like that,
TWS
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Stamps
You all know that I'm not a very risk-adverse person.
I mean, I do Sudoku puzzles in pen for goodness sake.
Lately the stock market and the government have been conducting operations in what seems to be the depths of Benjamin's diaper, so my risky decisions have not been yielding high returns.
Or moderate returns.
Or, let's be honest, any returns at all.
(Except for my long-term stuff. I'm an excellent long-term investor.)
I've decided that when things get creepy, I need to get creepy, which means developing a slightly different investing strategy.
Do you remember what my current one is?
"Allie J only sells at a gain."
That's right.
I've been investing since April 2012, and have currently only been successful with this strategy one time.
However, my new strategy incorporates a timeless virtue with an eye for opportunity.
In German: Meine Katze ist ärgerlich.
In Spanish: Mis manos huelen bien.
In English: Hold off on buying until it's low. LOW low. Like reeeeeeeeeeeeal low.
My problem in the past has been *thinking* that a stock was low, buying then, and then having it go even lower. The problem here is two-fold:
1. Opportunity cost: missing out on potential gains when it goes back up.
2. Inner turmoil: having to hope that it goes back up and having to see red like all day erry day.
So now instead of researching stocks that will go higher, I'm looking into stocks that are going lower.
This is where the patience part comes in. Waiting, waiting, waiting for things to keep sucking and sucking until they reach or almost have reached the ballet floor barre.
(It's not really called that, but that's the term I'm going to use.)
This "ballet floor barre" is the point that the stock price hasn't seen in years. This is the price where it kind of bottoms out- where, if it has ever gone below this price, it hasn't been for long. A great example is with American Eagle Outfitters. The floor barre here is about $10.
With my new strategy in place, I'll wait until AEO goes to close to $10, buy 200 shares, and then revert to strategy number 1, and sell at a gain of $600 when it goes back up to $13 per share like it is right now.
"How do you know it will go down to $10 and then back up to $13?"
I don't.
I'm not a psychic. I'm not a monk or a prophet. And I'm not tirerack.com.
But since you bought it at the ballet floor barre, there's a good chance it won't go lower, which means you pretty much win no matter what.
The old me would have bought as soon as it dipped at $17 and waited until it went back up to $20.
Baaaaaaaaad monkey. That could take years to happen.
But the NEW me is going to wait until it hits the ballet floor barre.
The keys to success are:
1. Have a buy price in mind
2. Have a sell price in mind
3. Don't get greedy
For example, when you've made your projected gain, GET THE HECK OUT, MAN.
sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell
If I could go back in time and tell myself to sell IBM July 26th, oh, I sooooooooooooo would.
But, instead I got greedy. I wasn't "happy" with my $150 gain and wanted it to go to $250.
And now, months later, I'm swiveling in my swivel chair, holding onto a $420 loss.
It just dropped another $10 from the time I started writing this post.
Rawr.
I looked into selling put options for the stock I already own, but the tutorials made me wonder, "Why would anyone agree to do this with me?" In economics class, it might have been a good idea, but once you factored in commissions and such, it just wasn't worth it.
But such is life.
So now you may be wondering, "What does this mean for me? Do these strategies actually work? How can I minimize my risk? Why do I ask so many questions?"
I don't know what this "means for you". I am not you. You are not me.
I don't know if this strategy actually works.
You can minimize your risk by not doing anything I suggest.
But you can be whimsical, like me, by doing everything suggest.
I have currently not had the resources to experiment with this new strategy, and now that I have a baby on the way, I don't want to be tying my cash all up in a boulevard of broken dreams.
Baby on the way:
However, I am "paper trading" which means making imaginary trades with imaginary stocks.
Which basically means just making crazy spreadsheets and tracking stuff.
I'll let you know how it turns out.
Maybe when I get my new car, I can plaster it all over Facebook. You know, like, put pictures of sonograms of it up there and be like, "Looks just like me!" and get like 50 thousand "likes" and then 26 comments congratulating me on my newest contribution to this world.
Who really likes Ray Charles anyway?
He can't see why anyone wouldn't,
TWS
I mean, I do Sudoku puzzles in pen for goodness sake.
Lately the stock market and the government have been conducting operations in what seems to be the depths of Benjamin's diaper, so my risky decisions have not been yielding high returns.
Or moderate returns.
Or, let's be honest, any returns at all.
(Except for my long-term stuff. I'm an excellent long-term investor.)
I've decided that when things get creepy, I need to get creepy, which means developing a slightly different investing strategy.
Do you remember what my current one is?
"Allie J only sells at a gain."
That's right.
I've been investing since April 2012, and have currently only been successful with this strategy one time.
However, my new strategy incorporates a timeless virtue with an eye for opportunity.
In German: Meine Katze ist ärgerlich.
In Spanish: Mis manos huelen bien.
In English: Hold off on buying until it's low. LOW low. Like reeeeeeeeeeeeal low.
My problem in the past has been *thinking* that a stock was low, buying then, and then having it go even lower. The problem here is two-fold:
1. Opportunity cost: missing out on potential gains when it goes back up.
2. Inner turmoil: having to hope that it goes back up and having to see red like all day erry day.
So now instead of researching stocks that will go higher, I'm looking into stocks that are going lower.
This is where the patience part comes in. Waiting, waiting, waiting for things to keep sucking and sucking until they reach or almost have reached the ballet floor barre.
(It's not really called that, but that's the term I'm going to use.)
This "ballet floor barre" is the point that the stock price hasn't seen in years. This is the price where it kind of bottoms out- where, if it has ever gone below this price, it hasn't been for long. A great example is with American Eagle Outfitters. The floor barre here is about $10.
With my new strategy in place, I'll wait until AEO goes to close to $10, buy 200 shares, and then revert to strategy number 1, and sell at a gain of $600 when it goes back up to $13 per share like it is right now.
"How do you know it will go down to $10 and then back up to $13?"
I don't.
I'm not a psychic. I'm not a monk or a prophet. And I'm not tirerack.com.
But since you bought it at the ballet floor barre, there's a good chance it won't go lower, which means you pretty much win no matter what.
The old me would have bought as soon as it dipped at $17 and waited until it went back up to $20.
Baaaaaaaaad monkey. That could take years to happen.
But the NEW me is going to wait until it hits the ballet floor barre.
The keys to success are:
1. Have a buy price in mind
2. Have a sell price in mind
3. Don't get greedy
For example, when you've made your projected gain, GET THE HECK OUT, MAN.
sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell sell
If I could go back in time and tell myself to sell IBM July 26th, oh, I sooooooooooooo would.
But, instead I got greedy. I wasn't "happy" with my $150 gain and wanted it to go to $250.
And now, months later, I'm swiveling in my swivel chair, holding onto a $420 loss.
It just dropped another $10 from the time I started writing this post.
Rawr.
I looked into selling put options for the stock I already own, but the tutorials made me wonder, "Why would anyone agree to do this with me?" In economics class, it might have been a good idea, but once you factored in commissions and such, it just wasn't worth it.
But such is life.
So now you may be wondering, "What does this mean for me? Do these strategies actually work? How can I minimize my risk? Why do I ask so many questions?"
I don't know what this "means for you". I am not you. You are not me.
I don't know if this strategy actually works.
You can minimize your risk by not doing anything I suggest.
But you can be whimsical, like me, by doing everything suggest.
I have currently not had the resources to experiment with this new strategy, and now that I have a baby on the way, I don't want to be tying my cash all up in a boulevard of broken dreams.
Baby on the way:
 |
| Isn't she adorable? |
However, I am "paper trading" which means making imaginary trades with imaginary stocks.
Which basically means just making crazy spreadsheets and tracking stuff.
I'll let you know how it turns out.
Maybe when I get my new car, I can plaster it all over Facebook. You know, like, put pictures of sonograms of it up there and be like, "Looks just like me!" and get like 50 thousand "likes" and then 26 comments congratulating me on my newest contribution to this world.
Then again, it didn't come out of my nether regions, so maybe it doesn't qualify for all that kind of attention.
Who really likes Ray Charles anyway?
He can't see why anyone wouldn't,
TWS
Friday, October 4, 2013
Mushrooms
This week has been like one of the best weeks ever.
I can't really come up with a single reason why, but here are some things attributable to mein glück:
1. I have the best friends in the entire world. I mean, I know I only have about 5 of them, but they are like bees-knees cool. And in additional to all their fantastic personalities, they are extremely good looking!!! Of course, this may be related to the fact that we're all in our 20s, but still.
I am so very proud of you all.
2. I found a new Pandora station that I really really really enjoy.
Like- remember in high school when I'd listen to The Starting Line, Yellowcard, Dashboard Confessiaonl, Something Corporate, Angels & Airwaves (to name a few)?
I typed in "Jack's Mannequin" for a station, and my life hasn't been the same since. This is even better than the time I created my Mumford & Sons station. This is even better than that I time I rediscovered bagels. Or that time I found out how to use the standard deviation function in Excel.
I don't know why it took me so long to figure out that I still really like the type of music that I still really like.
Who knew?
3. I rearranged my office at work. Waaaaait- back up a little bit.
3. a) I went on a picnic with a coworker. Publix chicken salad rivals mine, and I ate SOOO much, but it was so nice being in the shady, sunshine-y square parks in downtown Savannah.
3. b) I've been thinking about rearranging my office ever since I realized that's the cool thing about Pam's office and talking it over at the picnic. So I just did it.
Before:
After:
Now I'm facing east, so even though I don't have a window, there is a difference in lighting that makes it seem like I do. I have so much more space to do hopscotch in and host office party raves.
I really don't have office party raves. Or do hopscotch.
Wish I did.
Also, since I shoved the cabinet into the far corner and moved out the ancient and decomposing computer hardware that has been sitting there since I've been employed, I even have room for artwork!!!!
I guess it's time to hang up all my FRAWG pictures.
Or maybe I can hang up random, shapeless, colorful scribbles on scraps of paper.
And then people will be like, "Awww- did your nephew do those?"
And I'll be like, "No. I did those."
I'll surround myself with my own artwork to remind me of me.
4. I finally bought a hair straightener (and grape kool-aid).
Again, I don't know why it took me so long to do this. I guess I got bored/curious enough.
I was also tired of having mom hair. No offense to all the moms out there- but having "mom" hair makes you look between 5 and 16 years older than you actually are. By contrast, wearing pigtails makes you look stupid.
So instead of going in and paying for a hair cut, I decided to do a hair style.
And now my hair looks more ironed and professional than even my pants.
Maybe I'm "such a girl" for saying this, but the way my hair looks has a significant impact on my week.
Or maybe I've been having a good week simply because I've been bringing my own coffee to work.
5. I've still been studying for the CPA exam all week, and it turns out I'm still really good at cash flow statements. Even after not doing one for like a year and a half. It's amazing.
6. I met a cool guy online.
You: WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. Did you and Mike break up??!?!?!?
I should tell you yes just for being so thick.
Let me explain.
So in accordance with number 2, I decided, yeah, I guess I like emo music. And then I decided that I needed to buy this shirt that I saw this one time like seven years ago. And since you can find just about anything on the internet, that's where I looked.
But the ONLY place I could find it for sale was on eBay, but the auction had ended back in July. Because I had nothing to lose, I e-mailed the seller asking if he by any chance still had the shirt.
He said he was just about to get rid of it, but that'd he go to the post office and get a price so he could send it to me (he lives in the UK).
I'm going to get my long lost shirt!!!
So yeah, I met a cool guy online. And, yeah, Mike and I are still together.
You and your assumptions... geez
7. I was talking to a friend (see #1) a little while ago about how fat I feel like I've become and how I never have time to do things because I'm always studying or eating or whatever and how I'm going to exercise so much when I'm done with this durn exam.
But then I thought- why wait?
Like- the weather is absolutely beautiful, and now that I have new shoes, there is literally nothing else in my way.
Except maybe the door.
Wells Fargo commercial:
"We believe that conversations open doors..."
You know what else opens doors?
Doorknobs.
So I've been running and running and dancing and running and walking some of the time.
I even run through alley ways in Savannah at lunch time. Even in the rain.
I run in the dark.
I run in the light.
I run on the sidewalks and kick frogs at night.
You knew that a rhyme was coming. You could see it.
Unlike the unfortunate frogs who don't see me coming.
My runs are fueled by bananas and sustained by music.
And even though I could barely get out of bed this morning, I'm going to keep going because I am young and I know it will keep getting better.
I FINALLY FEEL LIKE A PERSON AGAIN, GUYS.
8. I'm going to have options very, very soon. The future is ever so exciting.
I was filling out a survey for radio ratings with Mike, and one of the questions was about buying a house in the next couple of years.
And we checked the yes box. And it's going to happen. And I am so excited about all the options.
For instance, we were shopping in Kroger some time ago, and they had this display of owl-themed kitchen furnishings. Like glasses and plates and serving trays and towels and oven mitts all with owls on them.
And that's when I knew that I'm going to have an owl-themed kitchen. It's really the only thing that makes sense.
And then I bought an owl pillow the other day because it was all like looking at me. It was actually the same time that I bought the hair straightener and the grape kool-aid, which I now realize is a pretty random shopping adventure.
In summary, owls are cool, and I am so excited about life right now.
JAKE! BRADLEY!,
TWS
This is a link.
I can't really come up with a single reason why, but here are some things attributable to mein glück:
1. I have the best friends in the entire world. I mean, I know I only have about 5 of them, but they are like bees-knees cool. And in additional to all their fantastic personalities, they are extremely good looking!!! Of course, this may be related to the fact that we're all in our 20s, but still.
I am so very proud of you all.
2. I found a new Pandora station that I really really really enjoy.
Like- remember in high school when I'd listen to The Starting Line, Yellowcard, Dashboard Confessiaonl, Something Corporate, Angels & Airwaves (to name a few)?
I typed in "Jack's Mannequin" for a station, and my life hasn't been the same since. This is even better than the time I created my Mumford & Sons station. This is even better than that I time I rediscovered bagels. Or that time I found out how to use the standard deviation function in Excel.
I don't know why it took me so long to figure out that I still really like the type of music that I still really like.
Who knew?
3. I rearranged my office at work. Waaaaait- back up a little bit.
3. a) I went on a picnic with a coworker. Publix chicken salad rivals mine, and I ate SOOO much, but it was so nice being in the shady, sunshine-y square parks in downtown Savannah.
3. b) I've been thinking about rearranging my office ever since I realized that's the cool thing about Pam's office and talking it over at the picnic. So I just did it.
Before:
After:
.jpg) |
| [picnic basket in chair] |
Now I'm facing east, so even though I don't have a window, there is a difference in lighting that makes it seem like I do. I have so much more space to do hopscotch in and host office party raves.
I really don't have office party raves. Or do hopscotch.
Wish I did.
Also, since I shoved the cabinet into the far corner and moved out the ancient and decomposing computer hardware that has been sitting there since I've been employed, I even have room for artwork!!!!
I guess it's time to hang up all my FRAWG pictures.
Or maybe I can hang up random, shapeless, colorful scribbles on scraps of paper.
And then people will be like, "Awww- did your nephew do those?"
And I'll be like, "No. I did those."
I'll surround myself with my own artwork to remind me of me.
4. I finally bought a hair straightener (and grape kool-aid).
Again, I don't know why it took me so long to do this. I guess I got bored/curious enough.
I was also tired of having mom hair. No offense to all the moms out there- but having "mom" hair makes you look between 5 and 16 years older than you actually are. By contrast, wearing pigtails makes you look stupid.
So instead of going in and paying for a hair cut, I decided to do a hair style.
And now my hair looks more ironed and professional than even my pants.
Maybe I'm "such a girl" for saying this, but the way my hair looks has a significant impact on my week.
Or maybe I've been having a good week simply because I've been bringing my own coffee to work.
5. I've still been studying for the CPA exam all week, and it turns out I'm still really good at cash flow statements. Even after not doing one for like a year and a half. It's amazing.
6. I met a cool guy online.
You: WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. Did you and Mike break up??!?!?!?
I should tell you yes just for being so thick.
Let me explain.
So in accordance with number 2, I decided, yeah, I guess I like emo music. And then I decided that I needed to buy this shirt that I saw this one time like seven years ago. And since you can find just about anything on the internet, that's where I looked.
But the ONLY place I could find it for sale was on eBay, but the auction had ended back in July. Because I had nothing to lose, I e-mailed the seller asking if he by any chance still had the shirt.
He said he was just about to get rid of it, but that'd he go to the post office and get a price so he could send it to me (he lives in the UK).
I'm going to get my long lost shirt!!!
So yeah, I met a cool guy online. And, yeah, Mike and I are still together.
You and your assumptions... geez
7. I was talking to a friend (see #1) a little while ago about how fat I feel like I've become and how I never have time to do things because I'm always studying or eating or whatever and how I'm going to exercise so much when I'm done with this durn exam.
But then I thought- why wait?
Like- the weather is absolutely beautiful, and now that I have new shoes, there is literally nothing else in my way.
Except maybe the door.
Wells Fargo commercial:
"We believe that conversations open doors..."
You know what else opens doors?
Doorknobs.
So I've been running and running and dancing and running and walking some of the time.
I even run through alley ways in Savannah at lunch time. Even in the rain.
I run in the dark.
I run in the light.
I run on the sidewalks and kick frogs at night.
You knew that a rhyme was coming. You could see it.
Unlike the unfortunate frogs who don't see me coming.
My runs are fueled by bananas and sustained by music.
And even though I could barely get out of bed this morning, I'm going to keep going because I am young and I know it will keep getting better.
I FINALLY FEEL LIKE A PERSON AGAIN, GUYS.
8. I'm going to have options very, very soon. The future is ever so exciting.
I was filling out a survey for radio ratings with Mike, and one of the questions was about buying a house in the next couple of years.
And we checked the yes box. And it's going to happen. And I am so excited about all the options.
For instance, we were shopping in Kroger some time ago, and they had this display of owl-themed kitchen furnishings. Like glasses and plates and serving trays and towels and oven mitts all with owls on them.
And that's when I knew that I'm going to have an owl-themed kitchen. It's really the only thing that makes sense.
And then I bought an owl pillow the other day because it was all like looking at me. It was actually the same time that I bought the hair straightener and the grape kool-aid, which I now realize is a pretty random shopping adventure.
In summary, owls are cool, and I am so excited about life right now.
JAKE! BRADLEY!,
TWS
This is a link.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Website
I had a traumatic experience this morning.
So I'm in my car, driving to work, all focused on the day ahead.
Then I see something moving on my dashboard.
Oh.
My.
Gosh.
I'd say that's an accurate life-size picture of the thing that was trying to get me in a car accident on the highway.
It's really their enormous legs that makes them so unbelievably frightening.
And this one was juicy, too. It wasn't the kind of spider that turns into dust when you mush it. This thing probably had instestines, a moustache, and like fourteen kidneys.
Heck, it might have even been pregnant.
And since I keep my car so clean, I had nothing to save myself, save for Jimmy Eat World "Futures" album case.
My valiant hero:
After much mashing, and whimpering, the defeated corpse lain in my passenger's seat until the stoplight on Liberty street, where I promptly dumped the oozing yellow jello carcass and wirey legs out the window.
Most frightening morning I've had in a while.
Windows open and close that's just how it goes,
TWS
The World You Love; Jimmy Eat World
So I'm in my car, driving to work, all focused on the day ahead.
Then I see something moving on my dashboard.
Oh.
My.
Gosh.
I'd say that's an accurate life-size picture of the thing that was trying to get me in a car accident on the highway.
It's really their enormous legs that makes them so unbelievably frightening.
And this one was juicy, too. It wasn't the kind of spider that turns into dust when you mush it. This thing probably had instestines, a moustache, and like fourteen kidneys.
Heck, it might have even been pregnant.
And since I keep my car so clean, I had nothing to save myself, save for Jimmy Eat World "Futures" album case.
My valiant hero:
After much mashing, and whimpering, the defeated corpse lain in my passenger's seat until the stoplight on Liberty street, where I promptly dumped the oozing yellow jello carcass and wirey legs out the window.
Most frightening morning I've had in a while.
Windows open and close that's just how it goes,
TWS
The World You Love; Jimmy Eat World
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