Thursday, December 1, 2022
Progress Bar
Oman is a country.
But OH MAN was today a great day at the park.
You see, today I broke my record to hang on a bar. And since no one has asked me how the bar exam has been going, I shall update you here.
First time ever hanging: 0:10
Previous record: 1:25
Today's feat: 2:07!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That means in theory, thought, and future fact, I have won the $100.
It took me 45 days to get to this point.
Now I just have to perfect my craft for the next 10.5 months in all sorts of weather conditions and probably buy some liquid chalk or something to dry out my skin.
I attribute part of my success today to my forearm strength like that of a musk-ox and the other part to my dry, stiff hands. I had to go to the bathroom at the park and the water was icy cold when washing my hands and there were no paper towels, so my hands were very dry and almost numb by the time we got to the monkey bars.
That was probably TMI.
But whatever.
I freaking did it.
Now I'm going to go make a stuffed pepper or something.
Walking away a winner,
TWS
Thursday, November 24, 2022
No Cap Story
Remember when I was really into using courier new for font on everything because I thought it looked like a typewriter would?
I should get back to that.
Retro as an old Renault,
TWS
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| I mean just look at how cute this is. |
Wednesday, November 2, 2022
Dr. Quandry
1. Remember Dr. Quandry? What even was that game about? Wasting time in "computer lab"? Yeah ok
2. I can't decide what's worse:
A. Looking like a flower, but smelling like dirt
Or
B. Looking like dirt, but smelling like a flower
Just to be clear, we're talking about a nasty smelling dirt and not, like, petrichor.
Help me decide.
Inspired by lyricosis of a country song,
TWS
You Look Good
- Clay Walker
Saturday, October 22, 2022
Among Us
Poison ivy/oak/sumac/whatever is biological warfare.
And it's ON.
Naturally,
TWS
Sunday, October 16, 2022
Honestly
Is there anything smaller than street tacos?
Asking for a friend,
TWS
Friday, October 14, 2022
The Bar Exam
Occasionally on this here blog, we like to talk about economics. The price of beans and curry powder and the like. Today is no different. Today we will be talking about:
Fair games. At not fair prices. (or prizes)
We went to the fair today.
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| This one. It was just as blurry in real life. |
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| Ok naw but for real this one |
It's what we do. We just, like, commentate.
And there is this challenge in the ride section called the Bar Hang Challenge or Hang Time or something. Basically the rules are you have to hang on to this bar for two minutes straight. And then you win a cool $100.
A few years ago, I saw the same thing and wanted to train a whole year to do it at the following fair, but then I forgot about it and then the fair got cancelled. (#2020)
SO! I want to train for it for real this time since I'm already packing massive heat.
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| Guns have human rights. |
BUT! I don't want to commit to anything for serious because I've already got a lot of other goalz going on right now. And what if it sucks to hang on the bar for that long and it just becomes really unfun to train for? Then it would be lamé.
Emphasis on the mé. (pronounced: meh)
ALSO! I do want people to check in with me about this. Just ask like, How's the bar going? And I will give you one of two responses:
1. Great because I am progressing in this
2. Oh yeah, not that great because I totally forgot about it again
AND! Exclaiming conjunctions is mighty fun.
HOWEVER! That's not why you're here. You're here to talk about economics. And we're gonna get to that.
Straight away.
One of the main commentaries Mike and I had whilst at the fair today was how egregious the prices of everything was. It was already egregious in years past, but the inflation made everything 25%-100% more expensive.
Corn dog - $6 ---> $8
Funnel cake - $8 --->$10
Turkey Leg - $15 ---->$18 (unless you bought 2, then it was only $34. Massive. Eyeroll.)
Ride tickets - $1 ---->$1.5
She's got a ticket to ride ---> But she don't care
And here's the most egregious part: The prize for winning the bar game is still just $100, which doesn't include expenses.
So even if you win this extremely physically challenging game, you can still only profit an uninflated amount:
Winnings: $100
Admission: <$15>
Game price: <$10>
________________
$75 net profit + applause and bragging rights, I guess
I've also heard of nasty tricks that the carnivorous carnival carnees do to make you lose like spin the bar and shock the bar.
But I still wanna do it.
We'll see. I'm thinking of just going to the park like I normally do and training on one of the thick swing set bars there. Just see how far I get and progress just a few seconds every time while I build massive grip strength, mental determination, and fortitude.
Also, anyone want to try this with me?
We could...
Um...
You know...
Hang out together.
:)
Bar none,
TWS
Monday, October 3, 2022
Gum
Yesterday I cut up a pineapple, and today I was taking the rinds and remains to the compost pile. The early autumn breeze ruffled the leaves and grass, tickled the remaining honeysuckle leaves on the fence line, and gusted a cool, refreshing breath in my general direction.
I hence whiffed a whiff I had not whiffed in a while.
"Allie, why do you write like that?"
I've been listening to a lot of Tolkein, okay?
I've been listening to a lot of Tolkein, okay?
It reminded me of whence eating a piece of Wrigley's Juicy Fruit gum, and it occurred to me that perhaps pineapple was the flavor they were going for, which had always been a mystery to me.
Wikipedia says that some advertising agency said it was a combination of banana and pineapple.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but banana is not a juicy fruit. Sure, it's yellow and a fruit and will become juicy if you leave it on your counter for far too long, but I don't think that's the kind of juicy they're going for.
Pineapple, on the other hand,...mmm.... delightful.
Also, what kind of a word is cantaloupe anyway? It has too many vowels. It might be French.
*brief Google search of etymology*
Well, wouldn't you know it. It is French. You can always tell.
Enough lollygagging. I have to go return some video tapes.
But first, gym,
TWS
Thursday, September 15, 2022
Snakes on a
On my walk tonight, I thought of another application of the Blueberry Principle: stars.
The more you look the more you see, you see.
Sometimes you focus in and realize that a big star is actually a cluster of a bunch of small ones. So yes alright okay maybe I was walking at the park in the dark.
Awareness.
Chyeah.
Earlier today, I was in the garage loading up plastics, paperboard, and other materials to recycle.
This is a move where I would cross fold, and the plastic, paperboard, and other materials would fold behind me and follow me around.
That is a square dance joke in case you were wondering.
I moved the bin with glass and magazines in it, and there was a long worm-looking thing under it. I thought, 'Hey, this is a worm. Molly likes worms. I'll put this in a jar and take it to her so she can slurp it up.'
I got close with one of the glass jars, but it moved all weird and then stuck out its black tongue at me as if to say, "I am not worm. I am Snek."
See, 'snek' is the word for a baby snake. Also goes by snäk. If that gets a red squiggle in your word processor, you might want to go ahead and add that to your dictionary.
I told Mike about it, and he got the broom and I promptly ushered it out of the garage and down a hole it slithered, which means it was a center in a line and slid past the other center nose-to-nose.
That was another square dance joke. Try to keep up.
So while Mike and I hauled the recyclables down to jailhouse alley, we deliberated about Snek. Why was a baby snake in our garage? How could it benefit by being there? What do baby snakes even eat?
Mike suggested mice. But to fit into a worm-sized snek, they would have to be some really small mice.
Reeeeeeeally small.
Almost mice-roscopic.
Then he thought a little bit and said, "I got it. They eat dust!"
Because, like, of the whole Genesis 3:14 thing.
But then he went on to say that they are Nature's Maids - subsisting on whilst cleaning up the dust of the earth.
And after that all I could think about was
| Snek Photo credit: alorix |
| Also Snek Photo Credit: @spicedpopsicle |
So apparently this is not a new idea. No, not a new idea at all.
I just really hope that wasn't a baby rattlesnake in my garage because then, well,
*clears throat, then speaks in a hoarse whisper*
where's the mom!?!?!!
Baby rattlesnake is so cute because the rattle is already built in,
TWS
Saturday, September 3, 2022
Bearing Fruit
Alas, September is upon us.
As the hot sunny days dwindle like the wistful dregs in the bottom of a sour cream container and the yard slowly begins to once again resemble Shelob's Lair, I thought it might be an opportune moment to expound on some very simple and profound lessons I learned this summer.
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| Accurate depiction of me going to turn on the water hose. |
The Blueberry Principle
When the blueberries were in full ripeness in June, I would go out in the morning to feed the ducks or get eggs and look at the bushes. "I'll probably need to pick these later today," I'd think. Then later on in the day, I would go to pick the blueberries and there were way more to pick than I thought! The more I searched for the frosty, bulbous spheres, the more I found!
You see, the blueberry principle is that the more you look, the more you see.
Said differently: what you apply your focus to, you become more aware of. This is that same thing as when you're going to buy a certain car, you begin to see them on the roads all the time. They were always there; you just weren't aware until you started paying attention and applying focus.
This is true in many different areas in life, but I just want to touch on a few. (You see that? If I just focus on a few, then you'll see it everywhere. lol)
1) Searching scripture:
- If you're looking for something (theme, concept, wisdom, truth, etc) in scripture, you will start to see it all over the place. I think this is in part related to the whole ask-seek-knock thing because it will really rock your world but only if you're ready for it. Like that time I found out that Yeshua literally said the kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17:20-21. Mind. Blown. And once you see things, you can't un-see them. You gotta keep pickin' the blueberries or you're just leaving them for the squirrels and birds.
I would, however, also pick blueberries for the one bird that eats them out of my hand.
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| Molly bird - also enjoys cilantro |
2) Multiplying feelings:
- If you're feeling anxious, sad, or fearful and you focus on how anxious or sad or afraid you feel, the feelings will amplify. If you change your mind and focus on something else, those feelings dissipate. Similarly, if you realize that you're happy, and you focus on your happiness and just exclaim, "I am so freaking happy right now!" and laugh and really lean into it, man, it's the best feeling and then you keep on vibin'. :D
3) Mind-Muscle Connection:
- If you're lifting weights all sporadic, careless and Pippi Longstocking like jammin' out to We Are the Champions for the 4,097th time, you might benefit from this one. If, instead, when you're lifting, you slow down, concentrate, and focus in on the muscle you're working, you can become aware of so much more and accelerate your gains. I've been working on my arms and shoulders recently, and though it may be kind of embarrassing to just stare back yourself in the mirror at the gym hoisting metal objects up and down, if you can get over yourself and just do it, it really does work. I've had massive gains within just like a week and a half.
When I'm lifting, I concentrate on the feeling of the muscle, how my grip impacts it, what indirect muscles are being used, am I tense?, am I relaxed?, is my neck strained? What range of motion do I have? Can I become more flexible and increase the range?
If I start to feel that good-burning muscle pain (as opposed to that no-good, shrieking, electrical joint pain), I'll zero in on it and try to enjoy the muscle working and feel all of it as much as I can.
More focus = more gainz.
If you don't believe me, there's been many kinesiology studies done on this.
"I don't have any references. Just trust me." - Allie Harshner, 2022
I know there's plenty of more applications of the Blueberry Principle and there are several other terms for it. If you want to leave a comment, feel free to share something you know!
The Peach Principle
Visiting Pearson Farms was on our Summer Fun List, so Mike and I went and bought a bag of peaches in July. Unfortunately, they had been through the chiller and we had to wait a few days for them to ripen. Mike, however, did not wait and bit into a peach that was harder than an apple and suffered all the way as he ate his way through it. This story is irrelevant to the Peach Principle, but it is a true story and still amusing.
Anyway, as the peaches ripened, I'd eat one a day or so. As we week wore on, they started to get dilapidated and wrinkly. There was one in particular that went from ripe to rotten real quick, and it got so dark and wrinkly that it looked like the peach pit!
This phenomenon is so widespread that I even found a time lapse video of it happening:
You see, the peach principle is that whatever is on the inside will eventually be on the outside.
There are many scriptures to back this up because it is such an important truth.
"You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean." - Matthew 23:26
"For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light." - Luke 8:17
"The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." - Luke 6:45
I think there are concepts in the ancient texts that we have different words for now.
For instance, I think the 'heart' is the subconscious or the seat of emotions in the depths of a person. This is the place that stores the trained and ingrained patterns of thought, behaviors, traumas, and memories in the core of our being.
The 'mind' is the consciousness. It is the "watcher" part that can actively control the thoughts and behaviors.
It is extremely difficult and exhausting to maintain consciousness all the time. Children can do it while they are building their subconscious, which is why everything is exciting to them and why they need so many naps. Their body literally forces them into a state of unconsciousness/subconscious for several hours a day just so the brain can keep up with everything they're experiencing.
It's interesting that Yeshua says that unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matt 18:3) Children are continuously conscious because they're always learning and wondering and discovering because everything is new. Patterns and habits haven't been established yet. There's no time to develop guile or ego or arrogance- they're too busy being conscious of all the fun they're having.
But as we get older, the subconscious begins to take over as we "grow out" of our consciousness. Patterns become engrained as we experience the same surroundings, people, emotions over and over again- whether good or bad. This is why our perception of time speeds up because things that are new and exciting to learn generally become fewer.
At some point you may find yourself completely on autopilot, just making every-day decisions based on what you've already established before that you believe.
That old adage rings true: wherever you go, there you are.
And if because of your background and baggage, you've got a lot of sinful ego-feeding lusts in your heart/subconscious, that is what manifests in your reality leading to suffering and a whole host of problems. Unwilling to change, you become complacent, brown, and wrinkly. At last, what is on the inside has manifested on the outside.
You are a robot controlled by the programming in your subconscious, unless you are conscious enough to change it.
This is where the power of God comes in, and I think Paul had a really good handle on the power of the mind, which may be why he wrote, (emphasis mine):
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. - Philippians 4:8
Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things - Colossians 3:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2
This could also be why Paul says in Ephesians 5: Awake O Sleeper! Because when you're asleep, your subconscious is running the show, unless you're in a lucid dream which is a whole other topic. Normally in a dream, it appears you do not choose what you do or what happens to you, but I'm afraid many people live this way in reality.
We are not called to be static products of our environment. We have been given the authority to become children of God (John 1:12). And also in Ephesians 5, Paul says to be imitators of God, as beloved children.
This is huge, guys. We actually have the power to live out our reality as conscious beings which means we are no longer "Oh no, me? I am but a poor, old sinner" victims, but EMPOWERED!
CHILDREN!
OF THE MOST HIGH!
This is why the Sabbath is so important to me. The Creator rested on the seventh day. It was established at the beginning as a permanent reminder to us, the creation, of who we really are.
So following Paul's advice, we consciously train ourselves up in righteousness, godliness (1 Tim 4:7-8), love and good deeds so that becomes the new auto-pilot subconscious part of us otherwise known as the heart change.
But we have to consciously do that. We must consciously make the change. We must consciously choose different and God-like ways to think about the world in order to change our reality.
That is His power working through us that changes us from bearing otherwise wrinkly old peaches to fresh, renewed, fantastic, loving, caring, understanding, compassionate passionfruit.
See what I did there? I changed the fruit.
No, but seriously, Olivia is climbing all over my chair while I'm writing this.
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| Olivia: aka Babycakes, resident fleabag |
Whatever is in your heart, in your subconscious, whether good or bad, will make an appearance one day.
Because God created you in His image, He has given you have the power to change if you don't like being a wrinkly old peach.
The Tree Principle
I was in a dream-like state one night thinking about trees and how much we are like them. Our arms and legs are called "limbs" and the torso is called the "trunk". Trees have vascular systems like we have bloodstreams. We even have family trees that draw connections from one relative to another. It's so cool how the inside of our lungs which we breathe with are shaped like the very things that provide the lungs the stuff to breathe.
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| It is all connected, you see. |
The tree principle is we are just vessels of creation with the ultimate life-force working through us.
If you think about the cross-section of a tree, it has many rings. They say that the rings are years, but I say rather they represent periods of growth.
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| Isn't it cool how God works in circles? I started to write a song called "We Were Trees" but it sounded really reminiscent of Cedar of Lebanon and I didn't want to get too repetitive with the idea. To view the lyrics, go here and lemmeno whatcha think. |
Anyway, the living force in the tree produces the rings year over year as it grows. Rings may be thin during a drought or nice and fat from rain-abundant seasons. But it's growing. That's what it does. That's what it's designed to do. It is just doing the will of God. Otherwise it wouldn't, like, even exist.
Just like trees, we are always growing, and the inside growth looks very different than the outside growth.
Have you ever seen a tree or a flower and considered that the tree or flower doesn't even know how beautiful it is? It doesn't have eyes to see its blooms or a nose to smell its sweet fragrance.
It's just doing its thing. It's just growing. It's the power of God working through it, making it alive.
It takes an outside observer, an outside consciousness, to perceive the beauty that is the result of God's power working through it. Like an artist admiring His artwork. The paints don't know what shapes they're making. The threads don't know the tapestry they're being woven into. The notes don't know the song that is being orchestrated.
So the second part of the tree principle is that we are so much more beautiful than we can even perceive, spiritually speaking. When you have been through some serious growth period and have a major tree ring going on and know that you are now bearing different but more Christ-like fruit than you used to, just know that your Creator is enjoying it way more than you can even imagine.
I love how simple and endless the walk is.
Deep Thoughts by Allie ™
I hope you know I had to look up some HTML code to do that.
But don't worry I just copied and pasted it,
TWS
Thursday, April 28, 2022
Muse Column
The more dust that there is on the toilet plunger, the less you have had to use it.
Which is a good thing.
TWS
Tuesday, April 26, 2022
Cilantro
Is it just me, or does the Amber Heard-Johnny Depp trial make you want to go back and watch all the pirates movies again?
Just me then?
Really BAD eggs,
TWS
Sunday, February 13, 2022
Stumbling Rocks
Bro.
Reading Isaiah is like eating cheesecake. I can only study a little section at a time because it's soooooooooo rich.
It's also like when I use to eat Little Caesar's hot wings. You see, their hot wings were like $8 for 6 itty bitty wings, that are mostly fat let's be honest here. But the sauce was very tasty in that I would want to disgustingly lick every bone, piece of skin, and nibble any morsel of actual meat on them things that I could because it was so good. I didn't want it to be over so soon. So I'd comb through little by little and take way too long to eat 6 itty bitty little wings.
Seriously, I think Molly had bigger wings when she was mailed in from California:
Anywho, I was reading Isaiah 8, and verse 14 stuck out to me as I licked the bones and meditated on the rich, fluffy cheesecake:
And he will become a sanctuary and a stone of offense and a rock of stumbling to both houses of Israel, a trap and a snare to the inhabitants of Jerusalem.
This verse is talking about how Messiah would come and pretty much throw everybody off their game.
I just deleted a whole thing I wrote about the "both houses of Israel" phrase because that topic is a huge one that deserves several posts in the future. I wanted to focus on the "rock of stumbling" part.
I've been saying for months now how I think humility is a prerequisite to coming to the Father. He opposes the proud but leads and teaches the humble. We see this all throughout the scripture.
So back to this rock: He's going to trip everybody up. It says both of the houses of Israel will stumble.
But how we respond to the stumbling, I think, is telling.
The proud stumble because they are walking upright in and of their own strength, probably with their head held high. When they stumble on the rock, they do that weird little dance thing and keep on walking, offended that they even got tripped up in the first place. I often get mad when I trip on stupid rocks or birdhouse posts outside because they're in myyyyyy waaaaay!!!
But when the humble stumble (lol, rhyme), they fall and are broken.
They are crushed beyond repair. They are helpless. Poor in spirit.
And yet, blessed are these.
They then cling to the rock which broke them and He is "a sanctuary" to them whilst being a "stone of offense" to the proud.
Cool stuff.
And then the Catholics were like 'Peter's the rock let's make him a pope' looooooool,
TWS
Terrain
I was shopping the other day and came to an interesting observation. In almost any grocery store, the produce section is on the opposite side of the pharmacy section.
Think about it.
On the signs outside of Wal Mart, it says "Pharmacy" on the left, and "Food" on the right.
It's almost like giving you a choice.
Will you live by strengthening your body from the inside out, or simply medicate the symptoms of your lifestyle?
Changing your lifestyle is much harder than enabling it. It's much, much harder because it takes self-control, discipline, effort, patience and perseverance, which is why the majority don't do it.
The words "doctor" and "doctrine" come from the same Latin word docere which means to teach.
Spiritually speaking, doctors are a lot like doctrine. People go to assemblies that make them comfortable in what they're already doing. Doctors prescribe medications to make people comfortable in what they're already doing. They don't want to change their lifestyle. They want to find the doctrine/doctor that will prescribe what they think they need - even if they are chronically dis-eased.
Make no mistake, there is a spiritual component to dis-ease that the body of medicine loves to ignore. I would just love to point out James 5:14. The elders should as good as our doctors. Why aren't we working in this power anymore?
The alternative is repentance: turning from man and his docere to the Creator and his Torah (teaching).
His ways are good. His ways are true. His ways are life.
I see metaphors and connections all over the place now. I could say a lot more on this, but I think I put enough out there.
I also might be getting older,
TWS
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