Sitting in a car, waiting for a friend:
Mike: *imitating me*
Me: Why is it that every time you imitate me, it's the same voice you use when you imitate your ex-girlfriends?
Mike: You are an ex-girlfriend.
Me: *jaw drop*
Mike: What? You're no longer my girlfriend. You're my wife.
Status upgrade,
TWS
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Saturday, October 14, 2017
Home Economics
It finally happened. Cheddar's turned into an Applebee's/Chili's/Logan's.
Not literally, of course. The sign still says Cheddar's, but what you end up paying for is smaller portions and worse service for a price higher than it was a year ago.
*restaurant inflation*
So what do you do?
First, we briefly looked at other restaurant options., but Cheddar's was still going to be on the bargain end for what we wanted.
Second, we decided to just cook it ourselves.
Thirdly, it has been awesome.
For the past three weeks, Mike and I have gone grocery shopping on Thursday nights and then stayed in and cook on Friday nights for what we would normally get at a restaurant.
The cost savings is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more than I originally thought.
I remember a really deceptive commercial a while back that had ingredients like vegetables and steak being rung up at the grocery cash register saying, "It's costing so much to cook dinner at home now," making the argument that it was cheaper to go to a restaurant such as Logan's.
Bah. Such tomfoolery.
Because here is what we bought at Food Lion:
Whole pack of chicken (about 3 pounds) - $5.79
Fried chicken coating - $2.29
Cornmeal - $2.30
Ranch dressing mix - $1.29
Mayonnaise for the dressing - $2.39
a whole sack of potatoes - $3
Our "marginal cost" was $17.09 because we already had other stuff at the house like sour cream, eggs, milk, peanut oil, and greens that I would've bought anyway. This is still over 20% cheaper compared to the $22-$24 we might spend going out.
And then we spent some time baking the cornbread, double-battering and frying the chicken, making the ranch dressing and mashed potatoes.
It was all so very delicious. And we didn't have to tip anybody, or wait forever to get a refill on water!
Even more, we had trouble fitting everything we made into the refrigerator and the leftovers pretty much provided dinner for us the following week.
But here's where the real savings come in: let's make it all again in two weeks!
Whole pack of chicken (about 3 pounds) - $5.79
Fried chicken coating - $2.29
Ranch dressing mix - $1.29
Tater tots - $4.69
Now our cost is only $14 because we reuse a lot of the same ingredients we bought before.
ECONOMIES OF SCALE, YOU GUYS.
So we get restaurant quality food from our very own kitchen for a fraction of the cost of going out. Plus, we don't have to sit in traffic, wait for a table, and we get to wear comfy pants.
Yes, we have to clean the kitchen and risk hot grease droplets flying onto our forearms, but it's time we get to spend together working toward a common goal. Totally worth it.
After our dinner yesterday, Mike pointed out: "If we really wanted this to be like going to a restaurant, we should put a $10 bill in the garbage and throw all the leftover food in the trash."
He's absolutely right. For the amount you pay and the portions you get, going out to a chain restaurant is so not worth it. Like not even a little. This happened with pizza, too, after we were so upset with Domino's "Buffalo chicken pizza" that had like 4 pieces of chicken on it and a thin layer of cheese. Is there a greater waste?
One might argue that you just can't make food at home taste the same as the restaurant. This is where you must experiment with the seasonings or the way you cook it to get it to where you like it. For Mike, it was all about the ranch dressing and the crispy chicken. Once we figured out the right consistency of the ranch and the perfect frying temperature, we were golden. And so was the chicken. :)
We still go out for Mexican when we feel like going out, but for the most part, we're perfectly content to stay at home cooking comfort food in our comfy pants.
Also, shopping on Thursday gives you more time on the weekend to wake up, have coffee and more time to yourself to write a blog post, for instance.
I think next time we'll make our own chicken coating. Mike is skeptical, but it really can't be that hard.
You know I could learn and I already know,
TWS
Line of Sight; ODESZA
Not literally, of course. The sign still says Cheddar's, but what you end up paying for is smaller portions and worse service for a price higher than it was a year ago.
*restaurant inflation*
So what do you do?
First, we briefly looked at other restaurant options., but Cheddar's was still going to be on the bargain end for what we wanted.
Second, we decided to just cook it ourselves.
Thirdly, it has been awesome.
For the past three weeks, Mike and I have gone grocery shopping on Thursday nights and then stayed in and cook on Friday nights for what we would normally get at a restaurant.
The cost savings is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more than I originally thought.
I remember a really deceptive commercial a while back that had ingredients like vegetables and steak being rung up at the grocery cash register saying, "It's costing so much to cook dinner at home now," making the argument that it was cheaper to go to a restaurant such as Logan's.
Bah. Such tomfoolery.
Because here is what we bought at Food Lion:
Whole pack of chicken (about 3 pounds) - $5.79
Fried chicken coating - $2.29
Cornmeal - $2.30
Ranch dressing mix - $1.29
Mayonnaise for the dressing - $2.39
a whole sack of potatoes - $3
Our "marginal cost" was $17.09 because we already had other stuff at the house like sour cream, eggs, milk, peanut oil, and greens that I would've bought anyway. This is still over 20% cheaper compared to the $22-$24 we might spend going out.
And then we spent some time baking the cornbread, double-battering and frying the chicken, making the ranch dressing and mashed potatoes.
It was all so very delicious. And we didn't have to tip anybody, or wait forever to get a refill on water!
Even more, we had trouble fitting everything we made into the refrigerator and the leftovers pretty much provided dinner for us the following week.
But here's where the real savings come in: let's make it all again in two weeks!
Whole pack of chicken (about 3 pounds) - $5.79
Fried chicken coating - $2.29
Ranch dressing mix - $1.29
Tater tots - $4.69
Now our cost is only $14 because we reuse a lot of the same ingredients we bought before.
ECONOMIES OF SCALE, YOU GUYS.
So we get restaurant quality food from our very own kitchen for a fraction of the cost of going out. Plus, we don't have to sit in traffic, wait for a table, and we get to wear comfy pants.
Yes, we have to clean the kitchen and risk hot grease droplets flying onto our forearms, but it's time we get to spend together working toward a common goal. Totally worth it.
After our dinner yesterday, Mike pointed out: "If we really wanted this to be like going to a restaurant, we should put a $10 bill in the garbage and throw all the leftover food in the trash."
He's absolutely right. For the amount you pay and the portions you get, going out to a chain restaurant is so not worth it. Like not even a little. This happened with pizza, too, after we were so upset with Domino's "Buffalo chicken pizza" that had like 4 pieces of chicken on it and a thin layer of cheese. Is there a greater waste?
One might argue that you just can't make food at home taste the same as the restaurant. This is where you must experiment with the seasonings or the way you cook it to get it to where you like it. For Mike, it was all about the ranch dressing and the crispy chicken. Once we figured out the right consistency of the ranch and the perfect frying temperature, we were golden. And so was the chicken. :)
We still go out for Mexican when we feel like going out, but for the most part, we're perfectly content to stay at home cooking comfort food in our comfy pants.
Also, shopping on Thursday gives you more time on the weekend to wake up, have coffee and more time to yourself to write a blog post, for instance.
I think next time we'll make our own chicken coating. Mike is skeptical, but it really can't be that hard.
TWS
Line of Sight; ODESZA
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Industry
Mayonnaise wasn't on the grocery list yesterday when I went to the store, so I didn't pick any up. Michael is deeply concerned at how this will affect his sandwiches this week.
I was fixing lunch and rearranging the refrigerator this afternoon when the mayonnaise jar lept out of the fridge and rolled along the floor.
Me: This mayonnaise is suicidal, man.
Mike: That's because it's empty inside.
Mike and I experience flies in our house from time to time. We don't live in a sty, I promise.
They must hang around the door and come in when we let Sam in or out, or maybe they've discovered the Pass of Caradhras that the sugar ants use.
Who knows.
One night, there were two flies buzzing around our entertainment room which were really bugging us. They wouldn't settle down anywhere, so all we heard was the constant Doppler effect of buzzing fly wings.
I pulled out some fly paper and attached it to the lamp shade.
About an hour or so later, one flew into my empty glass and I was able to trap and smash it.
I stuck it to the fly paper in great satisfaction.
The next morning, there was still the other fly buzzing near the door. I let Sam and the fly out of the house and got ready for work. When Mike left for work, he moved the fly paper from the lamp to the door to I guess trap any flies that were attracted to sunlight.
This goes into that category "seemed like a good idea at the time".
Because when Mike gets home, he texts me:
Mike: We have a huge problem.
Me: Did we get robbed? Is the AC out again? Did Sam die? TELL ME NOW.
Mike: Sam got the fly paper caught in his fur.
The fly paper couldn't catch flies but could catch a cat.
Outstanding.
Sure enough, I came home and strapped to Sam's left side was the big nasty length of fly paper.
I guess his little kitty instincts provoked him to bat at the adhesive streamer (I admit that it was placed too close to the floor) and then maybe it fell and maybe he laid down on it.
It's not poisonous to anyone, not even flies, so I wasn't worried about chemicals but rather the way it made Sam so incredibly not cuddle-able.
Apparently oil is really good for these sorts of situations, so Mike held Sam in the sink while I lubed him up with canola oil and drew the fly paper out of his fur. Then, we shampooed him which brought back poop memories since that was the last time we had to give Sam a bath.
The following week, Sam continued to look like an oil painting on one side, so we gave him another bath with Dawn detergent.
Dawn helps save wildlife.
True story.
Sam behaved well enough in the bath. Every time we have to bathe him, he seems to understand why we're doing it and doesn't rebel but rather mourns pitifully when he's tired of being wet.
More fur, more problems,
TWS
I was fixing lunch and rearranging the refrigerator this afternoon when the mayonnaise jar lept out of the fridge and rolled along the floor.
Me: This mayonnaise is suicidal, man.
Mike: That's because it's empty inside.
Mike and I experience flies in our house from time to time. We don't live in a sty, I promise.
They must hang around the door and come in when we let Sam in or out, or maybe they've discovered the Pass of Caradhras that the sugar ants use.
Who knows.
One night, there were two flies buzzing around our entertainment room which were really bugging us. They wouldn't settle down anywhere, so all we heard was the constant Doppler effect of buzzing fly wings.
I pulled out some fly paper and attached it to the lamp shade.
About an hour or so later, one flew into my empty glass and I was able to trap and smash it.
I stuck it to the fly paper in great satisfaction.
The next morning, there was still the other fly buzzing near the door. I let Sam and the fly out of the house and got ready for work. When Mike left for work, he moved the fly paper from the lamp to the door to I guess trap any flies that were attracted to sunlight.
This goes into that category "seemed like a good idea at the time".
Because when Mike gets home, he texts me:
Mike: We have a huge problem.
Me: Did we get robbed? Is the AC out again? Did Sam die? TELL ME NOW.
Mike: Sam got the fly paper caught in his fur.
The fly paper couldn't catch flies but could catch a cat.
Outstanding.
Sure enough, I came home and strapped to Sam's left side was the big nasty length of fly paper.
I guess his little kitty instincts provoked him to bat at the adhesive streamer (I admit that it was placed too close to the floor) and then maybe it fell and maybe he laid down on it.
It's not poisonous to anyone, not even flies, so I wasn't worried about chemicals but rather the way it made Sam so incredibly not cuddle-able.
Apparently oil is really good for these sorts of situations, so Mike held Sam in the sink while I lubed him up with canola oil and drew the fly paper out of his fur. Then, we shampooed him which brought back poop memories since that was the last time we had to give Sam a bath.
The following week, Sam continued to look like an oil painting on one side, so we gave him another bath with Dawn detergent.
Dawn helps save wildlife.
True story.
Sam behaved well enough in the bath. Every time we have to bathe him, he seems to understand why we're doing it and doesn't rebel but rather mourns pitifully when he's tired of being wet.
More fur, more problems,
TWS
Saturday, July 22, 2017
High Heels
Sometimes I will write letters to myself in the future, just to make sure Future Allie knows Past Allie was thinking of her.
I haven't really done so much letter writing to Past Allie, but here are some things I would tell my past high-school self that she probably wouldn't believe:
1. You will not always feel like throwing up in the morning. You can even smell eggs in the morning without dry-heaving. In fact, now you can even EAT them for breakfast! Yay!
2. Somewhere between 2011 and 2014, your favorite color will change from orange-y coral to turquoise.
3. The ability to work from home is not as prevalent as it appears.
(Choose a different profession. Please. Something related to IT/computers. Or something in real estate. You know, either/or. I'm not picky; I would just like to not work until 8 pm on holidays.)
4. You will be able to sing in front a microphone without crying! In fact, you will be a part of a SWEET BAND called the Uncommon Pear and perform in local venues all around town. All you will have to bring is your guitar, your voice, and probably a peanut butter sandwich. You won't be famous, but it'll be a pretty sick gig.
5. You will not marry your high school sweetheart. *GASP* I know, right? Shocking. It's ok. Your husband is actually way cooler.
6. You still enjoy coloring from time to time.
7. Dude. Sushi. It's so much better now than it ever was before. Try the philly roll and you will never look back. Sushi is love. Sushi is life. Also, Indian food will change your life (in a good way, I promise).
8. You can do push-ups and pull-ups now.
9. One day, you will randomly go to Turkey for a week and that small amount of German you know at the time will come in handy.
10. You no longer have an appendix.
We can't afford to be neutral on a moving train,
TWS
Deer Dance; System of a Down
I haven't really done so much letter writing to Past Allie, but here are some things I would tell my past high-school self that she probably wouldn't believe:
1. You will not always feel like throwing up in the morning. You can even smell eggs in the morning without dry-heaving. In fact, now you can even EAT them for breakfast! Yay!
2. Somewhere between 2011 and 2014, your favorite color will change from orange-y coral to turquoise.
3. The ability to work from home is not as prevalent as it appears.
(Choose a different profession. Please. Something related to IT/computers. Or something in real estate. You know, either/or. I'm not picky; I would just like to not work until 8 pm on holidays.)
4. You will be able to sing in front a microphone without crying! In fact, you will be a part of a SWEET BAND called the Uncommon Pear and perform in local venues all around town. All you will have to bring is your guitar, your voice, and probably a peanut butter sandwich. You won't be famous, but it'll be a pretty sick gig.
5. You will not marry your high school sweetheart. *GASP* I know, right? Shocking. It's ok. Your husband is actually way cooler.
6. You still enjoy coloring from time to time.
7. Dude. Sushi. It's so much better now than it ever was before. Try the philly roll and you will never look back. Sushi is love. Sushi is life. Also, Indian food will change your life (in a good way, I promise).
8. You can do push-ups and pull-ups now.
9. One day, you will randomly go to Turkey for a week and that small amount of German you know at the time will come in handy.
10. You no longer have an appendix.
We can't afford to be neutral on a moving train,
TWS
Deer Dance; System of a Down
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Except for When We Do
*heard from the other room*
Mike: BOOM! LOGIC!
Mikes dropping logic bombs on people.
Where people = Mark.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, UnCommon Pear, an acoustic duo from Pooler, GA, had a gig at the end of February. It was awesome. Wish you could've been there. It was so much fun.
So the other night, Don paid me my half of the proceeds in cash. As he handed me the payment, I was thinking, "what is this foreign substance in my hand?"
Not that I'm broke or anything or don't know what earning money feels like, but it had been a long time since I had handled cash.
Cold, hard cash.
On the way home, I thought about it: everything else I buy electronically.
Grocery store/gas - credit cards. Cash is incredibly inconvenient because you can't pay at the pump and then you have to deal with heavy coins when they give you change.
Other bills - auto-draft from checking account, or auto-bill to credit card
Ebay/Amazon - credit cards, of course
Other stores - credit cards, gift cards
Anything else - credit cards, of course, because points
Credit card - auto-draft from checking
Credit cards have made it SO EASY to not carry cash.
Unless you're the stupid Georgia Department of Revenue and still charge a "convenience fee" of 2.35% with a $1 minimum if I try to renew my car registration online.
True story.
Just happened to me this morning.
It's like they're living in the 90's.
But anyway, what I'm trying to say is that cash has value because it's currency, but in reality, it's not as valuable to me as other forms of payment.
Also, I can't deposit it into my checking account because I have an online bank, so I have to deposit it into a brick and mortar bank in order to transfer it to my online bank so I can actually buy something with it.
Like, how do you break a $20. HOW!?!?
Not even a vending machine could do that.
But can a vending machine take a credit card?
It sure can. Because it's 2017.
"'Cuz this is the future and you are alive!"
-Owl City; This the Future
In other news, I went to the park today and did not one, not two, not three, but FOUR PULL-UPS.
It was amazing and painful at the same time, but it's very encouraging to see progress.
Last September, I could not do one push-up and barely half of a pull-up.
I did 20 push-ups in a row the other night, and 4 pull-ups this afternoon on some bars at the park.
In addition to walking like 6 miles.
(My Fitbit called me an over-achiever.)
It's just pretty cool to be able to do something physically that you've never been able to do before.
And as I was swinging on the bars and monkeying around, I thought about how incongruent full-time work is with the way our bodies are supposed to be.
So, in elementary school, you have recess where you get to go outside for 30 minutes or so and run around like wild.
The PUNISHMENT here is staying in from recess and not being able to socialize with your friends.
Then, in middle school and high school, you still get "break" in the afternoon, in addition to lunch, but you are still required to take a physical education elective at some point. You "dress out" and pretend to be hurt when you don't want to do anything.
Even in college, you have required core credits of physical education before you can get your degree.
But then when you get a a full-time office job? They want you to stay healthy because insurance, right, but they don't provide the time or resources to promote an active lifestyle at work.
Staying active has to come out of your own time, and there's no convenient equipment or monkey bars at work to go play around on.
I just wonder why physical education is such an integral part of our curriculum from pre-K to college, but after that, it's more like a mentality of "not required, but if you can get around to it, great."
I don't know if anyone else shares these sympathies, but I know I feel incredibly disheartened when after a full day at work, I only have 3,694 steps. Just from walking to the bathroom and back I guess.
And I even go to the bathroom at the other end of the hall.
Yet, I am exhausted because of all the brain power I have expended over the previous 9 hours and still have to go home and work out just so my body won't start falling apart in the next 5 years.
I just think recess should still be a thing, and it should be appropriate at any age, any environment.
I also think tangelo juice should be a thing.
Seriously. How is grapefruit juice sold in stores but tangelo juice isn't,
TWS
Mike: BOOM! LOGIC!
Mikes dropping logic bombs on people.
Where people = Mark.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, UnCommon Pear, an acoustic duo from Pooler, GA, had a gig at the end of February. It was awesome. Wish you could've been there. It was so much fun.
So the other night, Don paid me my half of the proceeds in cash. As he handed me the payment, I was thinking, "what is this foreign substance in my hand?"
Not that I'm broke or anything or don't know what earning money feels like, but it had been a long time since I had handled cash.
Cold, hard cash.
On the way home, I thought about it: everything else I buy electronically.
Grocery store/gas - credit cards. Cash is incredibly inconvenient because you can't pay at the pump and then you have to deal with heavy coins when they give you change.
Other bills - auto-draft from checking account, or auto-bill to credit card
Ebay/Amazon - credit cards, of course
Other stores - credit cards, gift cards
Anything else - credit cards, of course, because points
Credit card - auto-draft from checking
Credit cards have made it SO EASY to not carry cash.
Unless you're the stupid Georgia Department of Revenue and still charge a "convenience fee" of 2.35% with a $1 minimum if I try to renew my car registration online.
True story.
Just happened to me this morning.
It's like they're living in the 90's.
But anyway, what I'm trying to say is that cash has value because it's currency, but in reality, it's not as valuable to me as other forms of payment.
Also, I can't deposit it into my checking account because I have an online bank, so I have to deposit it into a brick and mortar bank in order to transfer it to my online bank so I can actually buy something with it.
Like, how do you break a $20. HOW!?!?
Not even a vending machine could do that.
But can a vending machine take a credit card?
It sure can. Because it's 2017.
"'Cuz this is the future and you are alive!"
-Owl City; This the Future
In other news, I went to the park today and did not one, not two, not three, but FOUR PULL-UPS.
It was amazing and painful at the same time, but it's very encouraging to see progress.
Last September, I could not do one push-up and barely half of a pull-up.
I did 20 push-ups in a row the other night, and 4 pull-ups this afternoon on some bars at the park.
In addition to walking like 6 miles.
(My Fitbit called me an over-achiever.)
It's just pretty cool to be able to do something physically that you've never been able to do before.
And as I was swinging on the bars and monkeying around, I thought about how incongruent full-time work is with the way our bodies are supposed to be.
So, in elementary school, you have recess where you get to go outside for 30 minutes or so and run around like wild.
The PUNISHMENT here is staying in from recess and not being able to socialize with your friends.
Then, in middle school and high school, you still get "break" in the afternoon, in addition to lunch, but you are still required to take a physical education elective at some point. You "dress out" and pretend to be hurt when you don't want to do anything.
Even in college, you have required core credits of physical education before you can get your degree.
But then when you get a a full-time office job? They want you to stay healthy because insurance, right, but they don't provide the time or resources to promote an active lifestyle at work.
Staying active has to come out of your own time, and there's no convenient equipment or monkey bars at work to go play around on.
I just wonder why physical education is such an integral part of our curriculum from pre-K to college, but after that, it's more like a mentality of "not required, but if you can get around to it, great."
I don't know if anyone else shares these sympathies, but I know I feel incredibly disheartened when after a full day at work, I only have 3,694 steps. Just from walking to the bathroom and back I guess.
And I even go to the bathroom at the other end of the hall.
Yet, I am exhausted because of all the brain power I have expended over the previous 9 hours and still have to go home and work out just so my body won't start falling apart in the next 5 years.
I just think recess should still be a thing, and it should be appropriate at any age, any environment.
I also think tangelo juice should be a thing.
Seriously. How is grapefruit juice sold in stores but tangelo juice isn't,
TWS
Friday, February 10, 2017
Mechanical Bull
Since Mike has to work insane to the membrane hours this weekend, here I am Friday night hanging out with you fine people on this here blahgspace.
I had a run-in at the liquor store the other day and have come to the conclusion that women that work at package stores are downright JUDGE-Y.
Am I in fact judging them for being judge-y?
Probably. Maybe I should go work at a package store.
All I know is that this wouldn't be a trend if it didn't keep happening. Remember this blog post right after I turned 21 and got lambasted for wearing a non-matching purse with lace?
Go ahead and click on the link to refresh yourself.
Scroll down to the part about the TRUE STORY ABOUT HOW I ALMOST FAILED AT LIFE BUT THEN DIDN'T.
So the other night, I went to go pick up some distilled spirits, which is a term is far too phantasmagorical to substitute for the vernacular "booze".
I was checking out and flashed my work badge because I get a sweet, sweet discount when I do.
(maybe I should ask why my employer incentivizes me to purchase alcohol?)
Lady at the counter was like, "Ok, now I need to see your real ID."
And I was like, ok cool. I look younger than I actually am. This is good. This is cool. We're all cool here.
So I dig for my driver's license, hand it over and just her FACE was like
Her: You cut your hair...
Me: I did.
Her:
Why did you cut it so short?
^can't you just feel all the judgement happening right now?^
Me: Um. Because I wanted to...? I felt like it was time...
Her:
I had a run-in at the liquor store the other day and have come to the conclusion that women that work at package stores are downright JUDGE-Y.
Am I in fact judging them for being judge-y?
Probably. Maybe I should go work at a package store.
All I know is that this wouldn't be a trend if it didn't keep happening. Remember this blog post right after I turned 21 and got lambasted for wearing a non-matching purse with lace?
Go ahead and click on the link to refresh yourself.
Scroll down to the part about the TRUE STORY ABOUT HOW I ALMOST FAILED AT LIFE BUT THEN DIDN'T.
So the other night, I went to go pick up some distilled spirits, which is a term is far too phantasmagorical to substitute for the vernacular "booze".
I was checking out and flashed my work badge because I get a sweet, sweet discount when I do.
(maybe I should ask why my employer incentivizes me to purchase alcohol?)
Lady at the counter was like, "Ok, now I need to see your real ID."
And I was like, ok cool. I look younger than I actually am. This is good. This is cool. We're all cool here.
So I dig for my driver's license, hand it over and just her FACE was like
Her: You cut your hair...
Me: I did.
Her:
Why did you cut it so short?
^can't you just feel all the judgement happening right now?^
Me: Um. Because I wanted to...? I felt like it was time...
Her:
Me:, internally,
WHAT THE HECK.
I DID NOT COME IN HERE TO TALK ABOUT MY HAIRCUT.
THANK YOU FOR CARDING ME. THAT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU.
BUT WHO THE HECK ARE YOU TO ASK ME WHY I DID SOMETHING WITH MY HAIR.
I WON'T EVER COME HERE AGAIN.
EXCEPT FOR I WILL BECAUSE I GET A SWEET, SWEET DISCOUNT.
BUT INSTEAD I WILL SHOP ON THURSDAYS AND NOT ON TUESDAYS
WHEN ALL THE COOL GUYS ARE WORKING WHO DON'T CARD ME BUT SMILE AND ASK ME IF MY WEEKEND HAS STARTED EARLY.
so judge-y. You can replace the "He" in "Heck" with "Fu" if you want to. I sure did.
For the record, because that's what this here blog is, my haircut is awesome and I don't even look like a boy.
This Photograph is Proof (I Know You Know); Taking Back Sunday
 |
| Classic bathroom-selfie style |
So, way to make me feel insecure, girl. Good job.
Speaking of good jobs, I feel like I've become really good at my job.
My boss further confirmed this with me today when he said, "Good job" and not even in the sarcastic way as I demonstrated above.
I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of this new stuff that was thrust upon me since like 80% of our team has made a mass exodus in the last 3 months. I've delved even deeper into the Excel world of witchcraft and wizardry.
Sometimes I do sumifs off of pivot tables and index functions instead of vlookups.
And mostly none of you understood that sentence.
It uses its own language, you see. And once you begin to speak in its language, then you can make it work for you instead of just being like, "ugh. spreadsheets."
I've also become slightly super obsessed with formatting everything to look uniform and provide salience with the ultimate goal of not making people's eyes bleed.
Presentation. It's like the penmanship of the computer age.
In other news, UnCommon Pear has a gig coming up on the 24th. It's at the country club, so you couldn't come even if you wanted to. I can't promise that there will be pictures, but private parties are kind of our jam anyway.
Keeps it all elite-like.
Like can't-touch-this-like.
Like I'll-get-home-at-a-reasonable-hour-like.
Every now and then, I'll write a song to some psalms.
It's like a fun, challenging puzzle: trying to work an ancient song in a translated language to a melody and rhythm in order to convey the same ideas and feelings of the psalmist from thousands of years ago.
Forever inspired by Bifrost's Psalm 126, I really want to share these songs with the world.
Maybe someday there will be the right platform and time for that.
Until then, I take comfort in the fact that Jesus didn't start his ministry until his 30's.
And for those of you thinking, "Allie has too much free time", I have a simple formula for the key to getting more free time.
Are you ready for this?
It's pretty revolutionary.
You + Bible reading - Facebook - TV = more free time
It's amazing what all you can accomplish with the right priorities!
If you already live out this philosophy, then I have no other suggestions for you.
Except that dividend investing is kind of like buying time only it's on the back-end instead of the here and now.
I guess at some point I should do my taxes.
Summer bodies are made in the winter,
TWS
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Space Stations
I cannot make pancakes without singing John Denver's Thank God Ima Country Boy.
Well, I got me a fine wife
I got me ol' fiddle
Sun's comin' up, I got cakes on the griddle.
Except I was cooking them at like 10:30.
But what if the sun did come up at 10:30?
And set at 2:00?
Then it'd be like Yakutsk in the winter!
I know I talk about Yakutsk too much. I'm just kind of fascinated by extreme places.
I'm reading this book called Three Cups of Tea and a lot of it, especially in the beginning, talks about the glaciers in Baltistan and hunting ibex and mountaineering and yak dung fires and losing fingers to frosbite.
Really great stuff. Stuff you'd never see on this side of the international date line.
What would it be like to live in such an extreme place all the time?
I think they age a lot quicker.
But then they get to eat delicious Pakistani food like creamy moong dal and butter chicken.
And they get to walk around and see K2 in their backyard.
K2 is the second highest mountain on earth. Mount Everest gets all the fame and glory for being #1, but K2 is probably just as tough to summit, if not harder.
.
Or so I've heard/read.
Steps to Getting a Haircut:
1. Think about getting a haircut.
2. Spend the next three weeks agonizing about finding just the right picture to hand the hairdresser.
3. Consider doing it yourself.
4. Put your hair up in a ponytail and try to forget about how long it is.
5. See that the hours for Great Clips are 9-9 every week day so you could totally go after work one day.
6. Don't go after work.
7. Take a day off from work instead.
8. Tell yourself you should do something productive on your day off, like get a haircut.
9. Check in online.
10. Spend another 45 minutes downloading haircut pictures on your phone.
11. Go get your haircut.
12. Spend the next half hour or so deciding if it looks okay.
13. Chop an additional 2 inches off on the sides because the lady didn't layer it right.
14. Resolve to just do it yourself from now on.
15. Live with it.
True story.
Sitting down to read one night:
Me: Where are we?
Mike: I don't know where I am. I need to go find myself.
Me: Take a year off and go find yourself backpacking in Europe?
Mike: Yeah. Find myself in the jungle.
Me: .........................................................
Mike: What, are there no jungles in Europe?
Me: Not really. I mean, there are forests, but when I think of jungle, I think of a rain forest with like a canopy and howler monkeys.
Mike: Where two or more trees are gathered, there is a jungle.
Always been like a hummingbird, and I can't keep still,
TWS
Hummingbird; The Weepies
Well, I got me a fine wife
I got me ol' fiddle
Sun's comin' up, I got cakes on the griddle.
Except I was cooking them at like 10:30.
But what if the sun did come up at 10:30?
And set at 2:00?
Then it'd be like Yakutsk in the winter!
I know I talk about Yakutsk too much. I'm just kind of fascinated by extreme places.
I'm reading this book called Three Cups of Tea and a lot of it, especially in the beginning, talks about the glaciers in Baltistan and hunting ibex and mountaineering and yak dung fires and losing fingers to frosbite.
Really great stuff. Stuff you'd never see on this side of the international date line.
What would it be like to live in such an extreme place all the time?
I think they age a lot quicker.
But then they get to eat delicious Pakistani food like creamy moong dal and butter chicken.
And they get to walk around and see K2 in their backyard.
K2 is the second highest mountain on earth. Mount Everest gets all the fame and glory for being #1, but K2 is probably just as tough to summit, if not harder.
.
Or so I've heard/read.
Steps to Getting a Haircut:
1. Think about getting a haircut.
2. Spend the next three weeks agonizing about finding just the right picture to hand the hairdresser.
3. Consider doing it yourself.
4. Put your hair up in a ponytail and try to forget about how long it is.
5. See that the hours for Great Clips are 9-9 every week day so you could totally go after work one day.
6. Don't go after work.
7. Take a day off from work instead.
8. Tell yourself you should do something productive on your day off, like get a haircut.
9. Check in online.
10. Spend another 45 minutes downloading haircut pictures on your phone.
11. Go get your haircut.
12. Spend the next half hour or so deciding if it looks okay.
13. Chop an additional 2 inches off on the sides because the lady didn't layer it right.
14. Resolve to just do it yourself from now on.
15. Live with it.
True story.
Sitting down to read one night:
Me: Where are we?
Mike: I don't know where I am. I need to go find myself.
Me: Take a year off and go find yourself backpacking in Europe?
Mike: Yeah. Find myself in the jungle.
Me: .........................................................
Mike: What, are there no jungles in Europe?
Me: Not really. I mean, there are forests, but when I think of jungle, I think of a rain forest with like a canopy and howler monkeys.
Mike: Where two or more trees are gathered, there is a jungle.
Always been like a hummingbird, and I can't keep still,
TWS
Hummingbird; The Weepies
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Let's Blog Today
I figure if I still keep "writing/blogging" on my list of hobbies, I should probably do it once in a while.
I had this intense experience today: an insatiable, quenchless ravenous hunger.
I guess it kind of started last night.
Or earlier this week.
Ok, so you know how for the first week of the year, I was working T minus many hours because of this big looming thing called "year end close". The administration provides snacks and meals for those staying late on some nights. One day, there were apple slices and peanut butter for dipping.
Of course, after the late nights are over, they don't just throw the snacks out. The leftovers go in the fridge or into this spare cubicle with paper products and Christmas decorations.
And ever since the day there was peanut butter, I have been taking a daily walk to that cubicle with a spoon to get an enormous helping of this peanut butter.
It's so good. At like 10:30 in the morning. You should try it.
So that's been happening this week.
Peanut butter trips.
I try to go at a time when there's not a lot of people traffic so I don't get judged for swiping peanut butter...and only peanut butter.
Last night, I ate dinner (a disappointing Indian chili. Should've known better; the recipe didn't call for any curry), but then I snacked on crackers and coffee and had a gigantic bowl of popcorn at night.
Even still, this behavior is not unlike me.
Then today, I ate a normal breakfast (yogurt, oatmeal, banana) at work, went to a staff meeting, and then
BOOM. HANGRINESS ALL UP IN HERE.
CAN WE GO TO LUNCH AT 11:30? NOT YET? FINE. I'LL JUST GO GET MORE PEANUT BUTTER.
Then I ate lunch (sweet potato and brussel sprouts) and had a cup of tea.
Went for a walk.
The yooschz.
Why am I still hungry? I guess I'll eat my afternoon snack of carrots and celery.
20 minutes later.
I HAVE TO EAT. NOW. LIKE NOW? YEAH LIKE RIGHT NOW.
So then I went to the vending machine to use the cash that I only carry around for this very purpose and bought a bag of cookies and a bag of chips.
(Horrible. I know. The alternative was chocolate candy and poptarts.)
I was through the bag of cookies and halfway through the chips when my manager asked me for help with something. I felt sad and distressed as I had to walk away from my food for a time.
Then I came back and finished the chips.
Still restless.
Went back to the vending machine and bought another bag of chips because the trail mix was $1.25 and I had only brought $1 with me.
Still hungry. Like I can't EVEN.
Thankfully, I had a lentil stuffed pepper in the fridge I brought yesterday that was supposed to be my lunch for tomorrow, so I heated that up. About halfway through inhaling that, I finally finally finally calmed down.
What. The heck.
When I could finally think about other things besides stuffing my face, I reflected on how I felt.
Not overwhelmed. Not stuffed. Not even full. Just...satisfied.
It's like my body was a crying baby and I finally fed it enough so it would shut up.
And my hunger headache went away.
I still can't figure out why this happened. I've had girl-related-hangriness before, but not to this level.
This was extreme. I probably consumed 1000 calories in an hour.
And now that I'm writing about this, I wonder if I had started with the stuffed pepper instead of binging at the vending machine if I would've felt better sooner.
A few words on brussel sprouts: I ate them for the first time yesterday. When seasoned correctly (garlic salt), they are actually quite good. They're like little cabbages that explode with warm, juicy garliciness in your mouth.
In my mouth.
Not your mouth because you're not eating them. But you should be.
I guess the lesson here is to always have a meal in the fridge at work in case you ever feel like you're going to die.
And, no, I'm not pregnant,
TWS
I had this intense experience today: an insatiable, quenchless ravenous hunger.
I guess it kind of started last night.
Or earlier this week.
Ok, so you know how for the first week of the year, I was working T minus many hours because of this big looming thing called "year end close". The administration provides snacks and meals for those staying late on some nights. One day, there were apple slices and peanut butter for dipping.
Of course, after the late nights are over, they don't just throw the snacks out. The leftovers go in the fridge or into this spare cubicle with paper products and Christmas decorations.
And ever since the day there was peanut butter, I have been taking a daily walk to that cubicle with a spoon to get an enormous helping of this peanut butter.
It's so good. At like 10:30 in the morning. You should try it.
So that's been happening this week.
Peanut butter trips.
I try to go at a time when there's not a lot of people traffic so I don't get judged for swiping peanut butter...and only peanut butter.
Last night, I ate dinner (a disappointing Indian chili. Should've known better; the recipe didn't call for any curry), but then I snacked on crackers and coffee and had a gigantic bowl of popcorn at night.
Even still, this behavior is not unlike me.
Then today, I ate a normal breakfast (yogurt, oatmeal, banana) at work, went to a staff meeting, and then
BOOM. HANGRINESS ALL UP IN HERE.
CAN WE GO TO LUNCH AT 11:30? NOT YET? FINE. I'LL JUST GO GET MORE PEANUT BUTTER.
Then I ate lunch (sweet potato and brussel sprouts) and had a cup of tea.
Went for a walk.
The yooschz.
Why am I still hungry? I guess I'll eat my afternoon snack of carrots and celery.
20 minutes later.
I HAVE TO EAT. NOW. LIKE NOW? YEAH LIKE RIGHT NOW.
So then I went to the vending machine to use the cash that I only carry around for this very purpose and bought a bag of cookies and a bag of chips.
(Horrible. I know. The alternative was chocolate candy and poptarts.)
I was through the bag of cookies and halfway through the chips when my manager asked me for help with something. I felt sad and distressed as I had to walk away from my food for a time.
Then I came back and finished the chips.
Still restless.
Went back to the vending machine and bought another bag of chips because the trail mix was $1.25 and I had only brought $1 with me.
Still hungry. Like I can't EVEN.
Thankfully, I had a lentil stuffed pepper in the fridge I brought yesterday that was supposed to be my lunch for tomorrow, so I heated that up. About halfway through inhaling that, I finally finally finally calmed down.
What. The heck.
When I could finally think about other things besides stuffing my face, I reflected on how I felt.
Not overwhelmed. Not stuffed. Not even full. Just...satisfied.
It's like my body was a crying baby and I finally fed it enough so it would shut up.
And my hunger headache went away.
I still can't figure out why this happened. I've had girl-related-hangriness before, but not to this level.
This was extreme. I probably consumed 1000 calories in an hour.
And now that I'm writing about this, I wonder if I had started with the stuffed pepper instead of binging at the vending machine if I would've felt better sooner.
A few words on brussel sprouts: I ate them for the first time yesterday. When seasoned correctly (garlic salt), they are actually quite good. They're like little cabbages that explode with warm, juicy garliciness in your mouth.
In my mouth.
Not your mouth because you're not eating them. But you should be.
I guess the lesson here is to always have a meal in the fridge at work in case you ever feel like you're going to die.
And, no, I'm not pregnant,
TWS
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