That awkward moment when...
...you realize your backpack has been open the entire time from when you left the classroom, walked all the way down the stairs, down the hallway and across the parking lot.
And nobody said a thing.
Click me,
TWS
Friday, August 31, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
Dragons
I love how people use the on-ramp to I-16 as an opportunity to go 45 mph.
It just makes my day.
How about walking in heels downhill is REALLY difficult?
I figured out that it was the compounding angles.
This is also what makes walking up stairs in heels so easy.
Geometry, ftw.
But I'm walking at like a 75 degree slope here:
This was one of the two times in my life that I have ever needed a protractor.
The other time was in 5th grade.
On a completely irrelevant note, I came home the other day, and found this:
TROLL KITTY.
Most people are familiar with the story/parable of the lost son. It's an amazing metaphor about God's incredible love for us. I would, however, like to analyze in jest a small detail of this story:
Luke 15:11-12
Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them."
Alas, it seems atrocious for the son to ask for his portion of the estate before his father's death.
However, if Biblical tax rates were anything like our federal rates, this is an example of GREAT TAX PLANNING.
I read an article on the toilet recently about estate planning and how there's no guarantee that Congress will keep the low transfer rates in the future. Gifts now are still subject to the annual exclusion of $13,000 ($26,000 if you're married and make an election).
Please stop snoring. It's uncalled for and unprofessional.
Well, it may be called for, so I guess I better get to the point.
The point: Because of the current tax rates for gift & transfer taxes, it is cheaper for affluent taxpayers to take advantage of the annual exclusion NOW and slowly give their crap away before they die rather than to keep it all up in their estate and have it potentially be subject to a massive tax liability when they die.
So, in theory, the son was actually reducing his father's estate tax liability by requesting his portion early (not to mention, he was also supporting the local economy of the "distant country" by spending everything he had).
Of course, one could argue that the father wouldn't care what his estate tax is because he's dead when he's taxed on it, and it really just reduces what gets to go to the heirs.
Fair point.
But if it's all going to his sons anyway, would it not be better to maximize the wealth for the family?
Sometimes good's better than bad,
TWS
It just makes my day.
How about walking in heels downhill is REALLY difficult?
I figured out that it was the compounding angles.
This is also what makes walking up stairs in heels so easy.
Geometry, ftw.
But I'm walking at like a 75 degree slope here:
This was one of the two times in my life that I have ever needed a protractor.
The other time was in 5th grade.
On a completely irrelevant note, I came home the other day, and found this:
And then I pulled out my sewing basket to find a button and sew, and this is what happened:
Most people are familiar with the story/parable of the lost son. It's an amazing metaphor about God's incredible love for us. I would, however, like to analyze in jest a small detail of this story:
Luke 15:11-12
Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them."
Alas, it seems atrocious for the son to ask for his portion of the estate before his father's death.
However, if Biblical tax rates were anything like our federal rates, this is an example of GREAT TAX PLANNING.
I read an article on the toilet recently about estate planning and how there's no guarantee that Congress will keep the low transfer rates in the future. Gifts now are still subject to the annual exclusion of $13,000 ($26,000 if you're married and make an election).
Please stop snoring. It's uncalled for and unprofessional.
Well, it may be called for, so I guess I better get to the point.
The point: Because of the current tax rates for gift & transfer taxes, it is cheaper for affluent taxpayers to take advantage of the annual exclusion NOW and slowly give their crap away before they die rather than to keep it all up in their estate and have it potentially be subject to a massive tax liability when they die.
So, in theory, the son was actually reducing his father's estate tax liability by requesting his portion early (not to mention, he was also supporting the local economy of the "distant country" by spending everything he had).
Of course, one could argue that the father wouldn't care what his estate tax is because he's dead when he's taxed on it, and it really just reduces what gets to go to the heirs.
Fair point.
But if it's all going to his sons anyway, would it not be better to maximize the wealth for the family?
Sometimes good's better than bad,
TWS
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Juice Box
Today's word is copacetic.
It's a cool word.
And today's a cool day.
I got a job today!
(And I ate sushi. It was fishy.)
And this made me laugh:
2 of my Facebook friends have become engaged in the past two weeks.
This is an engagement ratio of 2:2, or 1:1.
This is an alarming rate, considering I only have 115 friends.
Other things:
1. I started a blog just for my sewing stuff. Tumblr is so much friendlier about photos than Blogspot is, and I needed to aggregate all of my projects into an online scrapbook sort of thing. So in case you missed the memo on Facebook, I shall from hence be showing off my sewing projects here.
**OH! And for all of my IT-ish friends (B/D/B), if you could tell me how to change that luminous orange into a plaid or patterned kind of background, that'd be greeeeeeeeeeat.**
2. Graduate school is borderline fun. I even get to sit by Mike in one of my classes and draw dinosaurs all over his papers.
3. I bought some sunflower seeds recently. In all of my seedy enthusiasm, my entire mouth is now a giant callous.
Squarey circle, circley square,
TWS
It's a cool word.
And today's a cool day.
I got a job today!
(And I ate sushi. It was fishy.)
And this made me laugh:
It still gets me.
2 of my Facebook friends have become engaged in the past two weeks.
This is an engagement ratio of 2:2, or 1:1.
This is an alarming rate, considering I only have 115 friends.
Other things:
1. I started a blog just for my sewing stuff. Tumblr is so much friendlier about photos than Blogspot is, and I needed to aggregate all of my projects into an online scrapbook sort of thing. So in case you missed the memo on Facebook, I shall from hence be showing off my sewing projects here.
**OH! And for all of my IT-ish friends (B/D/B), if you could tell me how to change that luminous orange into a plaid or patterned kind of background, that'd be greeeeeeeeeeat.**
2. Graduate school is borderline fun. I even get to sit by Mike in one of my classes and draw dinosaurs all over his papers.
3. I bought some sunflower seeds recently. In all of my seedy enthusiasm, my entire mouth is now a giant callous.
Squarey circle, circley square,
TWS
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Recently
Recently, I've been playing Crazy Taxi because Crazy Taxi is one of my favorite video games.
But sometimes I accidentally play it like it's Burnout.
Mike: WHY DO THEY RUN AWAY FROM MY CAR?!?!? It's not like I can run them over! I have candy!!!
Recently, I was thinking of putting more information about myself on Facebook.
But then I saw this:
Lol- as if I'll ever be employed again!!!
But Facebook has faith in me. I appreciate that.
I've also recently been thinking of moving to NC. That's where all the accounting jobs are.
Speaking of:
Where do retirement plans go when it rains?
Tax shelters.
Doesn't he look like he just told a really bad joke?
Yes. Yes he does.
Recently, I thought about joining Twitter.
Why?
Just so I could be one of those obnoxious people that have to comment on everything that everything else is commenting on.
#and so that I could start appropriately using hash tags.
#but then I realized it was funnier this way
#and that I'm not one of those obnoxious people
#so ne'er fear; I still don't have a twitter account.
(or a job)
Don't armadillos look like little dinosaurs?
The Glyptodon, to be more specific:
I know armadillos have hair and all, but I think they're closer to reptiles than they are mammals.
Like platypuses.
But I'm no taxonomist.
And please, for the love of Pete's thundering butthole, do not comment and say "Platypi?" thinking that you're being all cute and grammatically correct because you're not and I will be forced to make my next post boring and full of asinine puns and accounting quips.
Consider yourself warned.
Trine is also a very fun video game,
TWS
But sometimes I accidentally play it like it's Burnout.
Mike: WHY DO THEY RUN AWAY FROM MY CAR?!?!? It's not like I can run them over! I have candy!!!
Recently, I was thinking of putting more information about myself on Facebook.
But then I saw this:
Lol- as if I'll ever be employed again!!!
But Facebook has faith in me. I appreciate that.
I've also recently been thinking of moving to NC. That's where all the accounting jobs are.
Speaking of:
Where do retirement plans go when it rains?
Tax shelters.
 |
| #bad joke owl |
Doesn't he look like he just told a really bad joke?
Yes. Yes he does.
Recently, I thought about joining Twitter.
Why?
Just so I could be one of those obnoxious people that have to comment on everything that everything else is commenting on.
#and so that I could start appropriately using hash tags.
#but then I realized it was funnier this way
#and that I'm not one of those obnoxious people
#so ne'er fear; I still don't have a twitter account.
(or a job)
Don't armadillos look like little dinosaurs?
The Glyptodon, to be more specific:
I know armadillos have hair and all, but I think they're closer to reptiles than they are mammals.
Like platypuses.
But I'm no taxonomist.
And please, for the love of Pete's thundering butthole, do not comment and say "Platypi?" thinking that you're being all cute and grammatically correct because you're not and I will be forced to make my next post boring and full of asinine puns and accounting quips.
Consider yourself warned.
Trine is also a very fun video game,
TWS
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
All my loose change
I have been hit in the head way too many times today.
First, I was bending over to grab some cute camel shoes, and on my way back up, I rammed my skull into the sharp corner of Michael's dresser.
Secondly, I went to stand on the tub so I could get the right hem length for the dress I'm making, and the entire shower rod and curtain came tumbling down on my head.
Yes, that's only two instances of head trauma, but that's TWO MANY!!!!
I've had a relatively bad day full of minor frustrations.
And what's making it worse is the fact that I can't maintain homeostasis. I could swear we live in an apartment where it is either burning up or freezing over.
It doesn't make any sense, but 77 is way to hot and 76 is way too cold.
It's like I'm a reptile with a three chambered heart and extreme sensitivity to temperature, noise, babies, dogs, lawn mowers, people smacking their lips, Pandora commercials and stray hairs that I can't see but I can feel.
It sounds like zombies outside.
And what's with all the dump trucks?
Helmet on,
TWS
First, I was bending over to grab some cute camel shoes, and on my way back up, I rammed my skull into the sharp corner of Michael's dresser.
 |
| Camel Shoes |
Secondly, I went to stand on the tub so I could get the right hem length for the dress I'm making, and the entire shower rod and curtain came tumbling down on my head.
Yes, that's only two instances of head trauma, but that's TWO MANY!!!!
I've had a relatively bad day full of minor frustrations.
And what's making it worse is the fact that I can't maintain homeostasis. I could swear we live in an apartment where it is either burning up or freezing over.
It doesn't make any sense, but 77 is way to hot and 76 is way too cold.
It's like I'm a reptile with a three chambered heart and extreme sensitivity to temperature, noise, babies, dogs, lawn mowers, people smacking their lips, Pandora commercials and stray hairs that I can't see but I can feel.
It sounds like zombies outside.
And what's with all the dump trucks?
Helmet on,
TWS
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Regal
About a year ago, I bought some fabric.
A remnant, to be more specific.
Two and two thirds yards of a sheer, pukey green muslin.
My mother was all like, "What are your plans for that?"
At the time, I was optimistic.
A skirt!
A cardigan! OMG I've never sewed a cardigan before!
A breezy little sundress!
A tank I can layer!
Oh the possibilities!
And now I see why she asked.
The remnant I bought with it was also sheer, but it was a lovely pink that I fully intend to make a top with because of its versatility:
Granted, I didn't pay much for the barfy verde, but I did not consider the limits of its potential in my asinine school-girl spending spree.
Here is everything wrong with the fabric:
1. It's the color of vomit. (Have I mentioned this previously?)
2. It's very lightweight and see-through which means anything I make with it will have to have lining or be double-layered. (because, I mean, what's the point of clothes if they don't cover what they ought to, eh, A&F?)
3. It wrinkles easily.
4. It probably won't go with anything I own because I don't wear upchuck-colored clothing.
5. It smells funny. I expected Wal-Mart remnants to be newer-smelling than the thrift store finds, but so far that has not been the case.
And it makes me wonder.
(Led Zeppelin ftw)
Why was this even a remnant in the first place? Someone actually bought the preceding 7 yards or so? What did they do with it? Do they wear it in public?
Never have I ever been so stumped by a textile.
I just don't know what I can DO with it to make it useful!
One option I suppose would be a practice fabric.
Stuff to try stuff out on.
Another option is to give it to the Benjamin cause and let it be a diaper.
It won't look much different when there's poo all over it.
I don't know.
I just feel like anything I make with it is going to be an eyesore.
But my latest project is not!
I once had a fear of hurdles.
But then I got over it.
Laugh out loud,
TWS
A remnant, to be more specific.
Two and two thirds yards of a sheer, pukey green muslin.
My mother was all like, "What are your plans for that?"
At the time, I was optimistic.
A skirt!
A cardigan! OMG I've never sewed a cardigan before!
A breezy little sundress!
A tank I can layer!
Oh the possibilities!
And now I see why she asked.
The remnant I bought with it was also sheer, but it was a lovely pink that I fully intend to make a top with because of its versatility:
Granted, I didn't pay much for the barfy verde, but I did not consider the limits of its potential in my asinine school-girl spending spree.
Here is everything wrong with the fabric:
1. It's the color of vomit. (Have I mentioned this previously?)
2. It's very lightweight and see-through which means anything I make with it will have to have lining or be double-layered. (because, I mean, what's the point of clothes if they don't cover what they ought to, eh, A&F?)
3. It wrinkles easily.
4. It probably won't go with anything I own because I don't wear upchuck-colored clothing.
5. It smells funny. I expected Wal-Mart remnants to be newer-smelling than the thrift store finds, but so far that has not been the case.
And it makes me wonder.
(Led Zeppelin ftw)
Why was this even a remnant in the first place? Someone actually bought the preceding 7 yards or so? What did they do with it? Do they wear it in public?
Never have I ever been so stumped by a textile.
I just don't know what I can DO with it to make it useful!
One option I suppose would be a practice fabric.
Stuff to try stuff out on.
Another option is to give it to the Benjamin cause and let it be a diaper.
It won't look much different when there's poo all over it.
I don't know.
I just feel like anything I make with it is going to be an eyesore.
But my latest project is not!
 |
| Though, that face kind of is an eyesore. #apologies |
 |
| Skirt still to come. Hanging it from the lights is the closest thing I have to a dressmaker's mannequin. #unemployment |
I even made myself a logo:
 |
| For, you know, when I make it all big on the upper-east-side. #sarcasm |
So maybe if I just keep being successful with my other projects, then the booger fabric might come around to be something worthwhile. If not, at least it will always be a joke.
I once had a fear of hurdles.
But then I got over it.
Laugh out loud,
TWS
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