Annuity

I was looking for my headphones today, and I found them in my purse having a dirty, dirty threesome with my lipstick and a pen.
I felt like I had walked in on something really wrong.

In other news, I am really excited about our new lawn mower!
Hashtag grown-up enthusiasm.

"But Allie, didn't you just buy a lawn mower less than a year ago when you got a house?"

Aye. But the "guaranteed to start" slogan is an egregious falsehood.
We replaced the spark plug.
We emptied the old gas and replaced with fresh gas.
We changed the oil.
And the thing still sputters like an old tired horse.

From reading online, it might be something with a carburetor and a dead battery and at this point any other time or effort spent on it is a sunk cost.

So we bought a push reel mower. One that doesn't require spark plugs or gas or oil or engineering know-how.
All you have to do is clean the blades and sharpen them every couple years or so.

I. AM. STOKED.

I think the best part about it is going to be lack of noise.
Es ist sehr ruhig.
We could mow at midnight if we wanted to.

Sure, it might be harder to push than a self-propelled machine, but it's about time I got some muscle-y arms. Michael already has muscle-y arms. He can do a WHOLE push-up.
I'm so peanut butter and jelly.

However, I did actually got a compliment on my calves the other day.
Baseball legs?
Yeah I don't think so.

In a pie chart of exciting things happening in my life, the lawn mower is about 10%. The wedding is about 40-50%. And the other 40-50% I cannot share with thee. I know I'm always doing to this to you guys. Blogging about "secrets" and whatnot. It's like, why does Allie even blog at all? She doesn't really tell us much anymore. She used to be such a whimsical scribbler, but now all she does is write about things she can't write about. It's like reading the blog of a secret service agent.

Chyeah, if the agent was about to get a cool lawn mower!

But do you want to know a different secret?
Red lentils are better than regular lentils.
They probably make better mosaics, too, if you're into legume art.

I said, "Yeah, okay, cool. That looks like it will work." to the dress,
TWS

Farce

Today I was driving home after working an 11 and a half hour day.
I had my top down to enjoy the weather and what remained of daylight.
I didn't feel like listening to the radio; I just felt like singing some of my own songs.

I began warbling, but as I picked up speed in my car, the wind drowned out my sound, and the vehicles beside me created additional noise.

At this point, I reached over to my volume button and actually tried to increase my own volume as if my voice was coming out of my speakers and could be controlled by a dial.

o.O

True story.

Among other things,
TWS

Swatch

I have some feels for you guys.

Here are some feels:

Sheer Terror
That moment when you almost pee your pants because you set a file on the total button on your adding machine, and it started feeding the paper when you were total-ly not expecting it to.

Bitter Disappointment
That moment when you have your convertible top down, and you're cruising onto the interstate, increasing acceleration on the windy turn from exit 162, only to be brake gradually and slowly merge into rush hour traffic on I-16.

Absolute Serendipity
That moment when you realize that your wedding is 9 weeks away and that the weather is going to be so pretty and that since you set the date on your four year anniversary, every time you celebrate your anniversary, the weather will feel like it did when you first fell in love.

I'd rather my dream be just mine,
TWS

Besides; Sam Behymer