Friday, April 17, 2026

Nothing To Do About Anything

Sometimes you have to be honest and not be the morning person you know you're not.
What are you trying to do, impress the dawn?

I wish people would say "mark my words" more in everyday conversation so that I could respond with "consider them marked" in a Norrington accent.

Consider them maaahcked.

And somehow "at your earliest convenience" still means ASAP to me. 
It still feels rushed.
As though I'm sitting around with all this convenience and you're still attempting to claim it. 
My earliest one.
How dare you.

The other day, I had some taco shells in the oven and they were counting down to the last minute. I took that opportunity to put my beans in the microwave and synchronize the timers so that the oven and the microwave would go off at the same time, singing with their cacophony of beeping voices like some weird kitchen choir announcing that my food is finished.

There was much rejoicing, but Mike was all, "Why would you do this to me?"

Also, in attempting to complete a Sackboy stage without getting hit or dying, we discovered a life hack to achieving perfection:

Invoke the rite of test run!

When you tell yourself it's just for practice, or it's a test run for science like there's nothing riding on it, somehow your mind lowers all of your resistances to achieving it so that the end result is exactly what you want.

And yes, I realize this is the same thing as "letting go".
Although it's been said, many times, many ways...

I just put a song subliminally in your head.

I wonder if we leave a little magic on our clothes when we wear them and don't immediately throw them into the wash.
I'm not advocating for dirty laundry; I'm just saying if things aren't actually gross or sweaty, then why not linger in it for bit longer?
Sometimes I'll even hang back clothes in the closet so they can tell all their friends about what a great time they just had going out.
Let the good vibes multiply in the darkness.
I put on a hoodie and it just smelled so GOOD. 
Like a worn, warm, comfortable lived-in smell, not overcome by detergent or fabric softener perfumes.
I think I'm achieving my "always smell good" life goal.
The key is awareness.

And also smell tests.

Turns out you live longer by living more slowly.

Putting myself through mystery school,
TWS

Monday, April 13, 2026

Ekspedisjon Is How You Say It In Norwegian

Back in high school, I was the co-creator of an amazing group of friends called the Summer Fun Club where we would hold get togethers at different locations and do fun teenagery things like watch Lost, learn how to waltz, or have dinner together. 

Looking back, it was actually an extremely cool thing to do, and I want to get back into the spirit of Summer! Fun! Club!

So I'm starting a book club. So far, it's just me, but I'll let the books bring the dicey excitement. My plan is to write "book reports" on this here blog so that you can see the variety that my super brainy book club is expanding their minds with. 

Again, it's just me for now, but you're welcome to join along if you feel so inspired.

Nearly three years ago, I found out about Kon-Tiki from a crossword puzzle. Recently, I decided to rewatch the movie and then read the book, which unsurprisingly has a ton more detail in it.

Not only is there a documentary made on the actual journey that won an Academy Award in 1951, but you can watch the adaptation version on Tubi for free. 


The cover will have you believe it's some magical love story but make no mistake. The real plot is about this little crab:

His name is Johannes.

If you've seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about.

If you haven't seen it, I highly highly highly recommend carving 96 minutes out of your day and doing so. That way, I don't have to explain the plot of the story to you which is how six dudes built a raft and sailed from Peru to French Polynesia to prove the anthropological origins came from South America and not East Asia as was postulated during that time.

The movie mainly focuses on the wet part of the expedition, but the book talks a lot more about the theory and logistics that led up to it. If I'm being honest, that part was a little stressful for me because I had so many questions because I live in a world that is like eighty years and a few cultures removed.

First off: communications! Just in my own limited experience in other countries, I do not know how a feat such as this was accomplished with all the different languages involved. Not only in building the raft and coordinating supplies, but also how technology worked back then, like telegrams, or how transportation was purchased and arranged. Even when they're on the raft, they're cranking the generator to get the radio to work and then sending out morse code messages and I'm just like how did that work in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in the 1940s!?!?!?

Secondly, how was everything afforded? How much did the plane tickets cost back then? I honestly don't know how he was able to afford and coordinate everything between the countries (Norway, the US, Peru, Ecuador) especially since no one wanted to fund his expedition because they all thought it was a suicide mission. And then to do it all on a time crunch to avoid hurricane season? It felt like a whole adventure had happened before the adventure.

Thirdly, they got a flat tire in the Ecuador jungle. While Thor and Herman sail down the river with the balsa logs, I'm still stuck wondering what happened to their guide. It's not like he can just call a triple A and get a tow down the mountains or hop right on down to the auto parts store. How did he get out of that bind?

Reading a book like this was not only the sea adventure but also a time travelling experience to when things were just, like, way, way different. Thor has a great writing style with plenty of detail so you can immerse yourself in the terrain that he describes, and I'm SO glad that he documented it as well as he did. The version of the book I got has pictures so you can follow along with each step of the journey. It's a little amusing because it's all in black and white and his caption for one of the photos is "The sun sinks into the Pacific with a brilliant display of colors."

So like any good book, it makes you use your imagination!

A few other things I absolutely adore about this adventure:

Dude committed to authenticity.

In order to prove the thesis of French Polynesia first being settled by South Americans from the east, they not only had to go by raft, but also build the raft with the same kind of materials that would have been used during that time. This meant that no modern materials were allowed to be used in its construction, not even for safety.

It was such a boss move in the movie when Thor throws Herman's wire out to the sharks.
Herman did not understand the assignment. 

Turns out that it was better that they stuck with the original design because wire ropes would have sawed the wet logs over time and disintegrated the raft instead of resting softly on them for the whole trip. They literally saved their lives by doing it just like the ancients did and ignoring the hubris of all the guys at the quay who said they wouldn't make it.

They navigated with nature.

That's the only way to do it, I suppose, but by using the natural currents as a highway system that would effortlessly carry them along away, it's so impressive that all they needed was a sail and a steering oar. No motors. No need for speed. Just a few months and they got there. 

I also loved learning how the Polynesians navigate by the stars, and I actually looked more into this after reading that part in the book. They have names for like 150 different stars and then to navigate around the little islands or go a certain direction, they know the path by following a certain sequence of the stars. 

There's a line near the end of the movie with all the headlines coming out, something along the lines of "They survived! Man against nature!"

And I'm like, no, it was man with nature that allowed it to go as smooth as it did.

They encountered wildlife in a whole new way.

I loved reading about the parrot, the crabs, the dolphins, the sharks, the whales, the stupid looking whale shark, the flying fish, etc. It was a magical menagerie, and I think the movie does a great job showing a lot of this. What they don't show you is that when they cut open the shark's stomach, there are a lot of cuttlefish in there and how spooky similar a parrot beak and an octopus beak are. 

Mildly terrifying

Now I don't have a rating system for books because I believe anything written by an actual human that makes it to print has merit all on its own.

The only two questions to be answered in my book report are:

1. Would my mom like it?

While there's no romance in a typical human love sense, there is certainly a romantic feel to the majesty of the nature they encountered, and you can revel in the Tahitian paradise when they arrived. It really does transport you to another world, and I personally enjoyed casting my mind into the Pacific while eating lunch. There are several humorous points with just the cast of characters that were daft enough to do this thing together. I would say that if ye like Pirates of the Caribbean and like to learn in a whimsical way, then ye also would like to read this book.

2.  Do I keep the book because I would definitely read again (or lend it to an inspired book club member), or do I sell it back for cash?


This one's a keeper,
TWS