Buzzkill

I'm starting to get really comfortable with my CPA Reg book.

I know all of its secrets, and it knows all of mine.
We might be getting too comfortable together.
The other night, I could have sworn it was watching me change.
Dirty, dirty reg book!

But remember the other day when I was sort of kind of slightly super freaking out about my test that's in 26 days, 15 hours and 3 minutes?
I really worked on it today. I can tell you this: agency and bankruptcy are NOT CATS.
Why?
Because they are no longer out of the bag.
They are so far IN the bag, that I can answer any CPA question about agency/bankruptcy (and it will be at least 75% right).

And I think I'm getting the hang of this study-at-weird-intermittent-times. Like when I'm drying my hair. Or "watching" football. Or when I'm driving.
Just kidding about that last one.

I think if I can do this one exam while I'm juggling busy season at work and one online class, I should be able to do the other 3 parts during the summer with no busy season and no class.

And the best thing about it is that I'm so dang motivated.

How motivated?

This motivated.

I think the only other time I was this motivated to do anything was when I had just started drinking coffee in 11th grade. Which was, in fact, when that picture was taken. I don't know if I can create that same level of b-a-ness.

Of course, my sewing blog will suffer, but after it's over, just think about HOW MUCH NEW FABRIC I CAN BUY and HOW MUCH FREE TIME that I will have then.

I'm clearly more excited than you are about this.

Paint my spirit gold,
TWS

I Will Wait; Mumford & Sons

Basilisk

I love how freaking organized I am.

Came home yesterday and got the mail.
Oh? What's this?
My first W-2? Let me just put that in my "Taxes" folder.
What's that other thing?
Oh, just my Notice to Schedule for the actual CPA exam, guys, on the 22nd of February, guys.
Let me put that in my "CPA Docs" folder so I know what to bring to my test*.
Oh, a bill came today?
Looks like it's already been paid because I'm so on top of things and have a not-so-secret obsession with paying bills.
And then I filed it in my "Bills" folder and recorded the amount in the "Expenses" folder.

I kid you not. This is what I do with my time.

*Remember that time I was like an hour and a half late to the GMAT because I thought it started at 2 so I got there at 1:30 thinking I was going to be early and it actually started at 12 and I was soooo late but they let me in anyway and then I got a 570 and got into grad school? Good times. But that's not happening ever- EVER- again.

And then I started doing this thing that sounds really stupid, but it's really not.
On Sundays, I put together my work outfits for the week. This saves SO much time in the morning, which in reality is only about 10 minutes, but 5 days times 10 minutes is almost an hour of extra sleep. True story.

Instead of waking up and being like, "What am I going to wear today? Where are my black tights? Does this maroon really match this maroon?" and then taking 15 trips to the bathroom because that's the only mirror we have in our house, I can just change in the closet and know that it looks good because I did all the girly-indecisiveness Sunday night. Plus, it's more fun and less stressful to do it this way.

And then I figured out if I put my folded shirts vertically in my drawer, I can see everything in one glance.
They're even sorted by sleeve length.

My wardrobe. U jelly?

So that's about as Pinterest as I'm going to get.
I just wanted to write about things that didn't involve weddings, sports, or placentas because that's apparently all Facebook is about now.

Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire,
TWS

Girl in the War; Josh Ritter

Champagne

Did you hear that MLK parade outside on Monday?
It sounded like a civil rights movement.

*chortling*

Today happened.
Expectations: Come home, eat dinner, study for CPA, shower, sleep.
Reality: Came home, ate dinner, watched TV, read funny stuff, played guitar, finished writing a song, recorded music and now I'm bloggin'...

Clearly, hobbies > priorities.

And then in a month, it'll be like:
Expectations: >75
Reality: <75
And then sadness will ensue.

This movie applies to pretty much everything.

So I made a list:
Things that I have in the bag: Individual taxation, partnerships, commercial paper, secured transactions, suretyship
Things that are almost in the bag: Corporations, Estate and gift tax, Agency, Bankruptcy
Things that are kind of surrounding said bag: Miscellaneous CPA stuff and liability, business structure
Things so far away from the bag, they're not even groceries: Contracts and sales, other law topics

That was more for me than it was for you.
But if you don't know what 75 means by now, then you have not been paying attention to my life the past 5 months.

I suppose my justification for playing hooky with myself (ok, well, that just sounds weird) was that I got SO MUCH S DONE AT WORK .

Let me show you just how much S:

So much S got done.

Because of my hyper-productivity during the day, I feel like I should be able to have a chill night and relax.

What a wonderful life that would be.

And sometimes I just feel so creativity-starved. I guess that's what I get for working 9.75 hours.
Oh, yes, I took my first dose of overtime today.
It wasn't bad at all, though. As long as I'm busy, I'm good to go. But then I start to feel funny and then I realize- 'oh yeah, lunch was supposed to happen two hours ago'.

I should probably get a litter box to go in my office so I won't even have to leave to go the bathroom.
Too far?
Too far.

AVG, I don't care that your scan has started.
Just do your thing and only let me know if there's a problem.
Let me "management by exception", as it were.

I so want Noah & the Whale to play at my wedding.
Rocks and Daggers is the coolest song ever.
Too bad they're not touring anymore.

In summary, sugar packets need to be approximately 9 times larger than they are now so I won't look like such a paper shredder when I make coffee.

#firstworldproblems

There's no need to pla-a-ay with my heart,
TWS

Rocks and Daggers; Noah and the Whale

Bath Pouf

I. Love. Getting my hair cut.

I think this started when I was a baby. My mom would massage my head to get my hair to grow.
Thirteen years later, it finally did.

Then in grade school, [black] girls had some obsession with braiding my hair during story time.
ohmygoodnessitfeltsogood
It didn't even matter that they had created this microscopic braid that the center of my scalp that took forever to comb out later on. They had completely put my head in this massage-y, tingly nirvana while the teacher read to us.
Maybe that's why I like stories so much, too.
*wink to self and to blog*

I like to think of myself as a superhero.
My superpower is invisibility...to cashiers at fast food restaurants.
My weakness is...people touching my hair.
Brush/comb/blow-dry/touch/fondle/braid/massage my hair, and I become absolute putty.

So when Mike and I go get haircuts, it puts me in a really good mood.
It's a like a massage but way cheaper. Sometimes when they're done and they ask me if it looks okay, I tell them to make it a little shorter not because I really want it that length, but because I just don't want them to stop touching my hair.
True story.

Today, my hairdresser asked me where my husband works.
I didn't even correct her.

A phamily foto:

When I'm there, I'm Allie H.
And I am awesome.

Ka-chow,
TWS

Bells and Whistles

If I had only one wish for the world, it would be to make it so that when you have CAPS LOCK turned on, it acted as the 'shift' key for all the numbers.

Or maybe they should just design a keybaord where parentheses are on the number pad.

Either/or.
I'm not picky.

Aim small miss small,
TWS

Sam

Too big to fit in the box.

Tries anyway.

Feely box,

TWS

Chrometophobia

<Almost worst banking experience ever>

I went to my new bank yesterday to do some basic things.

1. Withdraw $200. Reason why coming later.
2. Order checks/see where the heck they are
3. Ask about getting a credit card.

So I went to the teller to get $200. She told me to write a check and make it payable to Cash.
As if I had checks.
She gave me one and I had to fill out the entire check to Cash which is just so silly.

I hope Cash knows what he's doing and that he's able to withdraw the money. 

I hope Cash knows he has to endorse the check before he cashes it.

Pssh- cash.
And I don't know how they expected me to write a check to cash if I had no checks.

So then they don't know if I've ordered checks or not. Their dinosaur of a system takes forever while eating my lunch break away (get it? Eating my lunch...break...ok. I guess it's lame when I explain my own jokes), and they discover that I didn't order checks when I opened my account.

So I go to order checks and I'm giving them my address. She was the s_____l______o__________w______e_________s_____t typer ever.
Blooming Crossing?
No, Blue Moon.
B-l-u...
Yes, that's how you spell Blue.

MY GOODNESS. It's like these people didn't pass 7th grade.

Then these business men come in with all their business suits and they're like, HEY EVERYBODY. I'M HERE TO GIVE YOU SOME MONEY.
And then, like, everybody laughs for some reason.

Bank teller (in a really saucy voice): How are you doing today?
Business man: I'M DOING GREAT. IT'S FRIDAY AND FOR SOME REASON THIS FACT IS HILARIOUS. HARARHARHARHAHR.

Seriously- it's like they're all sleeping together or something.

After I finally get my checks ordered, I asked if I could get a credit card. 

I'd have to do an application and blah blah blah. 

Would I be likely to be approved if I never had a credit card before?
Probably not.
I am shocked.

How the hell am I ever supposed to get freaking credit if I can't even get it from my own bank?

I was so upset I almost cried.

</almost worst banking experience ever>

The reason I withdrew $200 cash is because Mike and I are trying something new as far as sharing food money. We both withdraw the same amount in order to buy food on a cash basis. 

Kind of a Dave Ramsey technique.

Mike, however, is really not accustomed to using cash:

*at Wal Mart, coins come out of the self-checkout machine*

Mike: Oh my goodness. I haven't seen change in so long. Like- I haven't seen change since before Obama was elected.

BAZINGA.

And also probably true.

I saw this billboard on I-16 that said AVAILABLE with a phone number and I thought, man, that is a really bold way to pick up chicks.

Short skirt long jacket,

TWS

Boy Shorts

This is a true story about a real live accounting issue.

Before you nod off, just let me say that it involves PANTIES.

Yes. You heard right. Panties.

A year ago, I discovered the joys of online shopping when it came to underwear/ligerie/intimates because it's just less awkward that way. If you don't recall my post about that, go refresh yourself here.

So the other day, I went on my annual panty shopping spree, and a few days later, it all came in the mail. And I thought it was over. But of course it wasn't.

A few days after that, I got another package with the same duplicate order in it. I made sure I wasn't charged twice, and then resigned myself to, "Cool. Free panties."

Then I got greedy.
Could I exchange them for a different color? Can I send them back and get refunded in full so that my first order is pretty much free?

I got the order all ready to ship back, sealed the package, slapped the label on it and everything. Mike and I went to go play pool, and I tried to stuff it in the little envelope spot, but since panties are panties and not envelopes, they would not fit. This meant I would have to go to a real, live mailbox.

Then 2012 ended.

Yesterday I got this e-mail from the place.

OOPS, it said, I guess we sent you more things than you ordered. Give me a call and we can send you a label to return them for free.

Ok, Candy.

No, seriously. Her name was Candy.

So I called and "did the right thing".
But then I got to thinking.
It was only after year-end that they "realized" their mistake. Could it possibly be that VS was channel stuffing near year end to get their sales numbers higher and then defer the returns until 2013?

This happens all the time in grad school accounting cases, so there's a really good chance it happens out there in the real world.
In the panty world.

And I was a victim of it.

You: Allie, how were you a victim of it? You get to ship it back for free, and you weren't even charged for the second order.

Yes, but now I have to go out of my way and find a real live mailbox.
And a loss of inconvenience is still a loss.
#lawyered

Now I'm going to go eat a grapefruit and try not to turn my desk into a waterpark.
Sometimes, it's really that juicy.

When you date retained earnings, you don't take it out for a dinner and a movie,
TWS