Aloha

Alright, Sparky, here's the deal: this world simply must become more whimsical.

It has to in order for me to even be here.

It is my personal destiny to make sure that I live a life as whimsical as possible and my environment must support that or else I'm going to dissolve into the background medium and become another luminary for you guys.

So first and foremost, I want everyone to take life less seriously. It's really not that serious. I mean, giraffes exist. So do boney-eared assfish and pink fairy armadillos. 

This is a mammal, not sushi.

I mean, look at nature. Does nature take itself so seriously? Does nature read and care about the news? No? Then maybe we shouldn't either, probably. 

Secondly, I want to normalize silliness. Instead of silliness being "weird" and "immature" and "how much sugar did she eat before this square dance", it should be construed as "energetic" and "fun" and "childlike".

*whimsical*

Doing things:

1. Because we can

2. For the fun of it

These are the only things that motivate me nowadays.

Thirdly, I want to wake up and ask myself:

How GOOD can this day get? 

How pretty can I do my hair today?

How lovely can I be today? 

How badass can my workout be today?

How sexy can I make whatever I create today? 

How delicious can I make my lunch today?

Stuff like that. Just merely asking the questions puts you on a higher plane for three reasons:

1. It puts your focus on positive potentiality, so your attention is automatically magnetizing good things toward your open energy field.

2. It puts your focus on you and what you can control instead of others and what you think they "should be" doing, which makes you more attractive because you're just minding your own business. True story.

3. It puts your focus on today and the now. You can't worry about the future if you're too busy enjoying the present which makes you more like God and age incredibly slowly if even at all.

Fourthly, I want to just incrementally change our language to be more whimsical.

Let's perpetuate some pure, fun, good-hearted kindness in the forms of new idioms. Here are some examples:

May your flabbers always be gasted.

It's so cute when you use your intuition.

May your only tears be because of onions.

*signing an email* 

Regards and condolences, 

Greetings but in reverse,

I hope this gruntles you.

As for me, I'm going to make blueberry muffins later so that when people ask me what's new I can say "Muffin much."

Leading by example,

TWS

Dialogue Box

I have Sundays often.

Procrastination.exe is running.

If I could wake up one day without "What Was I Made For" by Billie Eilish stuck in my head, that'd be cool.

Also, why don't we call dirty laundry "hamp"?

Then you would put 'hamp' in the hamper?

Makes total sense.

More sense than the home affordable modification program.

I was writing a song yesterday comparing myself to a patchwork quilt and the term "karmic kaleidoscope" came to me in a hot drop from the ether and I loved it.

Then we made another black bean and corn salad, and it just wasn't as good as the first one.

Fine, I'll go update the slide deck. 

Agility is the latest trend in pickleball.

It appears my elven skills I developed in Mirkwood are transferring over nicely.

I'm getting a hair cut tomorrow for the first time since I moved back here, so if I look a little different next time you see me, you heard it here first.

If I don't look different the next time you see me, maybe you have changed more than I have.

Attentionspan.exe has crashed.

Mike put on his virtual reality headset about two weeks ago, looked at his phone, and has now been forever changed. It's some type of dysphoria where he always kind of feels like he's separated from his body and that his hands are not his own. The neurons haven't fully integrated the VR experience yet. 

While his brain and body recalibrates itself, we are calling this his American Honky Tonk Bar Dissociation, in case you want to get in on the action.

I want so badly to go bathe.

I like how a decade ago Magnus Carlsen went to India to play in some championship, and the Indian guy studied Magnus for weeks with a team of people and computers and analyzed his every move, but then several draws later when Magnus got out of his own head and started using his intuition, he started winning because he was playing from the heart and head and not just the head.

It was like a classic AI versus real people triumph story.

(even though the Indian guy was human [as far as we know] he wanted to act like a computer)

Love. It.

I think we'll see more of these the more we peel out along this new earth timeline.

Did you know that earth is an anagram of heart and also aether if you spell it with the lost letter Ash?

Everybody, this is Ash.
Ash, meet everybody. Say Hi.

Since it's unrelated, I guess I can tell you that sometimes I move my tongue around and count my teeth from the inside of my mouth. However, this is very boring and I often lose interest before I finish, so I am unable to give you an updated count of my dental matter.

Teeth.txt already exists. Do you want to replace it?

Four hours left in the Duolingo Diamond league Semifinals this week before I get promoted again.

Sittin' pretty in sixth place. 

Earlier, I was standin' pretty in sixth place, but I am in a chair now.

Wearing a diphthong,

TWS