Nothing To Do About Anything

Sometimes you have to be honest and not be the morning person you know you're not.
What are you trying to do, impress the dawn?

I wish people would say "mark my words" more in everyday conversation so that I could respond with "consider them marked" in a Norrington accent.

Consider them maaahcked.

And somehow "at your earliest convenience" still means ASAP to me. 

It still feels rushed.

As though I'm sitting around with all this convenience and you're still attempting to claim it. 

My earliest one.

How dare you.

The other day, I had some taco shells in the oven and they were counting down to the last minute. I took that opportunity to put my beans in the microwave and synchronize the timers so that the oven and the microwave would go off at the same time, singing with their cacophony of beeping voices like some weird kitchen choir announcing that my food is finished.

There was much rejoicing, but Mike was all, "Why would you do this to me?"

Also, in attempting to complete a Sackboy stage without getting hit or dying, we discovered a life hack to achieving perfection:

Invoke the rite of test run!

When you tell yourself it's just for practice, or it's a test run for science like there's nothing riding on it, somehow your mind lowers all of your resistances to achieving it so that the end result is exactly what you want.

And yes, I realize this is the same thing as "letting go".

Although it's been said, many times, many ways...

I just put a song subliminally in your head.

I wonder if we leave a little magic on our clothes when we wear them and don't immediately throw them into the wash.

I'm not advocating for dirty laundry; I'm just saying if things aren't actually gross or sweaty, then why not linger in it for bit longer?

Sometimes I'll even hang back clothes in the closet so they can tell all their friends about what a great time they just had going out.

Let the good vibes multiply in the darkness.

I put on a hoodie and it just smelled so GOOD. 

Like a worn, warm, comfortable lived-in smell, not overcome by detergent or fabric softener perfumes.

I think I'm achieving my "always smell good" life goal.

The key is awareness.

And also smell tests.

Turns out you live longer by living more slowly.

Putting myself through mystery school,

TWS