Do you ever have a drawer that goes a little too long being a little too forgotten about?
I'm not talking about a junk drawer. Junk drawers are a foundational cornerstone to the finer workings of a household.
In junk drawers we live, move, and have our being. They hold an indispensable occupation in a functioning society, much like lost-and-founds or protists.
For where else would you even store chip bag clips, restaurant coupons because Popeyes really may reopen one day, or the spare hardware you've accumulated from all the furniture you've assembled?
Don't answer that. Purely rhetorical.
What I'm talking about is a truly miscellaneous drawer that has gone too far in its assemblage of afterthoughts, mild hazards and poisons, and things that aren't quite trash but well on the brink of becoming so.
When I asked about this drawer, it literally opened up to me.
"Mike, where do you even keep the toothpicks?"
"Over here, by the matches," supposing little wooden sticks belong alongside other little, slightly wider and more flammable, wooden sticks.
Behold:
 |
| The Drawer |
Its Contents, in no particular order:
Toothpicks, some not even in the container
Fire starter logs
Matches
Lighters
Liquid ant bait
Fly paper
A bottle opener
Several koozies
Bamboo skewers (Mike says they are just bigger toothpicks)
2 grill brushes
A sushi rolling mat
It's like:
-a hobby kit for a pyromaniac who isn't very serious about grilling
-a tacklebox for someone who only wishes to harm bugs
-a collage of drink supplies for someone who likes to kick it with a cold one while perhaps also holding the extremely occasional and unusual hankering for food that has been touched by bamboo
These things don't go together and yet, here they are, together.
Gaze upon the paradox: for the drawer appears so intensive with its collection of odds-and-ends while at the same time actuating a location so fit and peculiar that these items simply could not belong in a more logical place, for no such place exists.
Like a miscellaneous folder that has every type of file inside of it:
An organized chaos
Wherein an object can only be found
By those who already know where it is
#potc
Just know that if you ask for a toothpick at our house, we're gonna have to ask you to pick your poison.
Condensed on the plane of inertia,
TWS
Very clever. If this were out there where more people could read it, I think they would really enjoy the humor you find in everyday things... albeit, intelligent humor, so that's going to limit your audience anyway because at least half the population is below average (e.g. watch out for them on the road!).
ReplyDeleteAgreed! I imagine Demetri Martin also runs into that; clever humor just begets smaller crowds. I think also because of scroll culture, people are less patient with reading than other forms of media, but it has always been my preferred means of communication. Thanks for reading!
ReplyDelete