Mugworm Tea

I slightly super hate how all retailers, it seems, have taken the thrill out of getting deals and maximizing coupon savings potential.

I remember the super bargain discount clearance finds with my mom back in the 2000s.

This is how it happened:
1. Head to clearance section of the store
2. Find marked down name-brand item because it had a dent in the box or whatever
3. Find both manufacturer and store coupons in that massive purse of hers
4. Get laundry detergent for a few yen!

I use the phrase "a few yen" because it's a little more cultural than "pennies on the dollar".

Or, alternatively:

1. Head to feminine product aisle of store
2. Find a buy one-get-one deal
3. Find a couple of identical coupons in that massive purse of hers
4. GET QUADRUPLE THE DISCOUNTS

But I am sadly here to report to you that those days are over.
There are so many restrictions on coupons now:

Do not double
Do not use in conjunction with any other coupon, sale, or discount
Only good at this location
Only one coupon per transaction, per item, per day, per customer
Dry clean only

Ok. I may have made that last one up. But all the others are true.

I'm less upset about not saving the money and more upset that they won't let me be clever or tactful enough to wield my super coupon combining powers.

I mean, all the stars in the commercial heavens have to align to pull off something like this.
So when the cashier says so nonchalantly, "we can only do one", I want to retort, "CAN'T YOU SEE HOW CLEVER I'M BEING!?!?!? I saved all of these coupons for this one time in my life so that I could get this item for a small percentage of retail value and you're telling me that I have to pay the plain ol' sale price because using the coupon instead wouldn't yield that much of a discount."

So much disappointment. So much wasted effort.

Or like that I time I got my haircut BEFORE the day on the previous receipt. I brought in the receipt to get the discount and then I was all like, "I work at Gulfstream" (to get an additional $3 off) and they were like, "the discount's the same either way."

BUT. BUTT.
I would've waited until after August 9th if I had known I couldn't get $6 off!!!

Unfortunately, I can do nothing as a patron to change this. I can no longer get excited about the potential of a coupon. I must just take it at face value, just like it says.
Any other sales or discounts I get are just unplanned retail shenanigans I merely stumble upon like the other common retail-chain-going bourgeoisie.

Of equal or lesser value,
TWS