Help Me Help You

I've learned some things about myself in the past month.

1. I cry way too easily.

I guess I've always been an emo kid.
As an adult, it's actually really embarrassing, debilitating, and kind of pathetic.

Indeed I do live a very happy life, but sometimes my face just wants to explode for no bloody reason.

Here are just a few examples of how I have been brimming with tears or sullen with sobs:

a. Telling a co-worker/manager that I need to go home because I don't feel well
b. Praying in front of a group of people. And when I say "group" I mean only like 2 other people
c. Speaking up during a Bible study
d. Singing Come Thou Fount for the billionth time in my life (verse 2, omggggg)
e. Singing In Christ Alone every. freaking. time.

I realized that 4/5 of those things are church related.
Jesus really messes with my emotions.

2. I'm becoming ever more aware of my core values and how alarmingly rare they are in the world today.

a. Efficiency.
b. Punctuality.
c. Listening.
d. Commitment.
e. Silence.

Words to live by.

3. Stupid Things have become increasingly less interesting and less important to me over time.

Examples of Stupid Things:

a. Social media. I opened a Twitter account a few months ago, and I still haven't mustered the vanity to post anything.
b. Small talk/talking about work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job more than ever. I just don't want to bore my audience with details they won't understand. Let's talk about something else!
c. Complaining. I realize that this blog can be construed as a platform for complaining, but just know that I never intend it as such. A few weeks ago, I was sitting in traffic one day like I do every day thinking that I have nothing to complain about. Like I really don't.
d. Arguing for the sake of being right.

Example within the example:

The other day at choir practice, I popped my finger. Not in an obnoxious bubble wrap machine gun finger popping kind of way, but in just a one-off sort of situation. Because it really needed to pop.
An older guy that was there snapped at me, telling me not to do that so that I don't get arthritis like him.

I could have argued that, no, finger popping doesn't cause arthritis.
And I could've gotten all offended that he was being short with me.
Or I could have made it a whole generation thing by getting mad that he treated me like a child.

But in that moment, I thought through how I wanted to respond.
I could feel the cogs turning around in my head when I decided that taking action would require effort, and that the effort would be way more than the payoff.

It just didn't seem important to be right.

So, those are three things about me that you probably already knew, but I'll leave you with one more.

I'm a vegetarian in the way that I like to veg and tarry,
TWS