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Every day feels
Like a beach day when you have
A convertible.

I should write poetry for Miata brochures.
Or not.

I never bought the Miata in order to seek attention. I like pretty cars. And I always wanted a convertible. I remember telling my grandma this when I was a wee lass. I was going to be a famous country singer and have a convertible.
Well, at least one of those dreams was realistic.

But when you buy a sports car, you apparently buy the right to unsolicited comments from passers-by.
Some aren't so bad, such as, "I love your car!" or "Nice upgrade!" or little business cards on your windshield inviting you to join an exclusive Miata club that meets every first Tuesday of the month.

Then there are the obvious but neutral comments, which also aren't bad: "You're gonna make my wife want one of those." or "How you likin' that top down?" (local color unabridged)

But then there are the unappreciated ones such as: "Now you're just showing off." and "Hope you brought your sunblock." Both comments, not surprisingly, both came from cops.
As if I need to be apologetic that they chose a career in which they have to drive a Ford Crown Victoria the majority of the week.

What am I supposed to say to that?
"Yes. I am showing off. Please pull me over."
"No. I didn't wear sunblock. Please arrest me."

But I can't think of anything nice to say, so I just nod and drive. Away. Fast.

And I've noticed that when the older-ish generation find out what I drive, they enter into a story that starts with "I used to have a 19XX {insert name of hot rod}..." and ends with "That was before I started a family."
Note to self: never bear children.

That's like the moral to all my true stories these days.

Now onto something completely different:

I always never get asked questions such as "How can I be a better client, Allie?" or "What can I do to make your job easier?"
I will now take the time to answer the questions you would probably never ask.

How to Be A Good Client:

1. Send your information in between January and March 31st.
Not April 14th. Not even April 12th. Did you know that accountants actually have a process for tax returns? After preparation, it goes into review, which takes additional time to make sure it's all correct.
WHO KNEW!?!??
 People think "Well, my taxes are easy, so they should get them done in time."
Nope. There's a process; no shortcuts. Send your stuff in on time or on extension you go.

2. Send PDF attachments of documents we ask for.
And I guess this goes without saying, but PLEASE have an E-MAIL ADDRESS.
Every time I see in the prior year file that there is an e-mail address, I'm like yesssssssss because that means I don't have to call you. But when all you have is a phone number, and I need a document, either you have to bring it by (inconvenient for you) or fax it (which for me is like trying to read poop smear hieroglyphics).
It's a no-win situation. I'm still trying to figure out why telephones even exist anymore.

3. For the love of Pete, MAKE THE ADJUSTING JOURNAL ENTRIES I GIVE TO YOU.
Sure, they're optional in the same way a triple bypass surgery is optional.
It's for your best interest. Just do it.

4. Ask questions about things you don't understand. We would love to explain things to you so that your records are correct going forward. This is actually one of the best parts of our job. That and bank reconciliations (my personal faves).

 5. Keep personal and business expenses separate at all times. Just because you work from home part time does not mean you get to deduct your ridiculously high homeowner's association fees.

I have more, but I can already tell you're getting bored.

Since we're packing up the house, there are boxes everywhere and clothes, wires, and kitty spilling out of them. Last night, I was drying my hair next to a box, and in that box were my bright blue Cynthia Rowley tights and a pair of hot pink, lacey panties.
I asked Mike, "What would it look like if I wore those tights under those panties?"
Mike: "Stupid."
Oh, so like Superman?

If your definition of red is hot pink, like Mike's and Mark's is, then yes. Like superman.

Closing clothes,

TWS