Pears

Valet parking is one of the most lucrative institutions of our time.
Did I say lucrative?
I meant to say ludicrous.
Because it's ridiculudicrous.

I just made a new word. Yay me!

The other night, I went to this fancy party. It was at a very nice restaurant, and the party and the food and the people were great (and nothing like the video).
But the valet was terrible.
Let me break it down for you.

You remember this post where I listed get-rich-quick ideas and most of them involved some kind of vehicle exploitation?
Add valet to that list.

Since it was a fancy party for the firm, I didn't have to pay for the "service", but I did have to hand over my keys to a very corpulent, gold-toothed worker and tell my name to his scraggly sidekick.

And people always want to spell Jansen with an O for some reason.

But these people didn't even have a booth. Or an organized system. Or any real appearance of employment. They were just standing in the driveway, wearing matching outfits, and somehow obtaining possession of people's vehicles.

Valet.

*party begins*
*party ends*

Let me tell you how valets are supposed to work:
At our hotel in Cincinnati, we had to get valet parking. Whenever we wanted to go somewhere, we'd call, and in about 10 minutes, they'd have our car right out front, warm and running.
They were fast and nice and kind and smart.
And that's how valets are supposed to be.
You know, like, convenient.

Mike and I walked out with a group of coworkers at about 9:30. They took our tickets and slowly began bringing around the vehicles. One by one, people slowly leave. And remember how I said there was no valet  booth? The workers were sorting and organizing the tickets and keys on the hood of some Mustang. With a flashlight. It was one of the most unprofessional things I've ever seen.

And then the fat one pressed the button on one of the keys, and a car lit up in the adjacent parking lot. And then the other one gave the keys to the owner so that the owner could get his own car.

IS THIS A SELF-SERVICE VALET?!?!?
The outrage:  then he tipped her.

So because of this disorganization, my tickets was one of the last cars that they dragged out of the sewer or wherever they put the cars, even though it was one of the first tickets they were given.
I tippeth not.

And they pushed my seat back. I was like, really? You have to adjust my personal car settings because you're moving it twenty feet? Awesome. People do this when they change my oil and I can't figure it out. It's like they absolutely must be comfortable for the 14 seconds that they're driving my car. 

Also, on the way home there was a traffic jam on  I-16  because the City of Savannah likes to do road work in the middle of the night and move traffic to one lane.

I know a lot of you are like, "Allie, oh em geezy. These are such rich people problems. Get off your hai-horse and take a chill pill."

Bad business just annoys me though. Especially when I see things that are a problem that could easily be fixed. I wish I could be a bad-business-fixer-upper. I guess that's how consulting got started.
And consulting is another entirely ridiculudicrous business.

Interrobangs look like ears,
TWS