Lists

This is a list of men's apparel that I abhor:
1. Bowties
2. Skinny ties
3. Cardigans
4. Braided belts
5. Shorts that are too far above the knee
6. Jean shorts
7. Crocs
8. Shoes that go like this:



Don't even get me started on women's apparel.

This is what happens when Mike talks about Assassin's Creed:

Mike: Did you just roll your eyes?

Me: No- I just had to look up at the ceiling real fast.

This is a list of weird things I've eaten:

1. A coffee bean- horrible; this was done on a dare in a store.
2. Basil leaf- also horrible and done on a dare
3. Octopus- this I actually ordered and it would've been okay had it not been swimming in cucumber sauce
4. Radish straight from the garden- very potatoey and not spicy at all.

This is a true story:
Mike and I went to the strangest Wal-Mart the other day.

And I'm on kind of this boycott of Wal-Mart right now because that whole store, including  its freaking parking lot, just ticks me out of my ever loving mind.
Then again, I refuse to pay $2.99 for popcorn seasoning at Publix when I know it's a dollar less at Wal-Mart.

So we went to "pick up a few things."

And, as I have mentioned, I was going for popcorn seasoning.

In a normal, logical grocery store, usually the chips are by the 'snacks' and the nuts and the crackers and cookies and sometimes diapers (?) are all in the same aisle. Including popcorn.

But in this asinine place, the chips were in one aisle, the crackers were in another one 7 aisles down, and then there was this obscure area in the back labeled "Beverages".
So I go to the chip aisle, no popcorn.
Snack aisle, no popcorn.

I would just like to know when popcorn became a beverage.
Because there it was. By the alcohol and soda. Under "Beverages".

Their argument (probably some marketing person): Well, uh, you know, some people like to have some snacks with their drinks, so we put them by each other to increase, uh, sales.

Complimentary items, eh? That's understandable.
But then why are their two other aisles nowhere near this other place with other very snackable items?

itjustdoesn'tmakelogicalsense

And then Mike was looking for garlic bread, so we had to trek all over the frozen food area to find it. Apparently garlic bread is now a breakfast food.

So yeah. Strangest Wal-Mart ever.
It was eerie, man. Like a different dimension.
And there were so many pregnant women there.
SO many.
Pregnant.
Women.

True story.

This is a list of my favorite months in caps lock:
MAY, JUNE, NOVEMBER

This is a picture of Sam:

He looks like he's about to make a snide comment.
Feel free to caption and re-post.

I kind of miss nested "IF" functions,
TWS