The Appendectomy

It all started Thursday night.
Mike and I made some pigs in a blanket and sat down to play Lego Pirates.
Don't judge. (Mark)
And then my stomach started hurting like I had eaten too much.

Then I fell in the water and gotten eaten by sharks.

I'm getting ahead of myself, but sharks really do eat you when you fall into the water when you play Lego Pirates.

So I stomach hurt all through the night, I woke up feeling terrible, had a fever, went to a med-stop and they're all like, "You need to go to the ER." 

So I drove myself to the ER, and they're like, "Yeah, it sounds like appendicitis."

Doctor: "Do you give blood?"

Me: "No."

Doctor: "You should. You have great veins!"

And then one thing led to another (what kind of lazy-a writing is that?), and I ended up getting my appendix taken out.

One hole is for the camera, one was for the removal of the appendix, and the other was for the lolz.

Just kidding. 

They had to blow air down there so that the camera could see. I still have air in there that I can press around with my fingers. 

I feel...carbonated.

Needless to say, so far my weekend has been pretty couch potatoey. I was looking forward to eating Cheddar's and playing mini golf and tennis and swimming and fun weekend things. But instead, I laying around drinking all day. Water, mostly. And the drugs.

THE DRUGS MAKE ME CRAZY.

It's so creepy. First of all, they make me sleepy, so I have to lay down a lot or it severely interferes with my ability to raid, pillage, and plunder my weasley black guts out.  Secondly, they make me feel like there are things there that aren't. Like- I thought the cat was by my head, so I swatted him, but he was not there. And then I thought Mike was giving me a back rub, but I was like, "Wait, Mike doesn't randomly give me back rubs" and he wasn't. And then, I woke up and was SO convinced that I was wearing socks, but then...

I WASN'T.

It is really terrifying.

They do make the pain go away, but I'm wondering if it'd be better just to bear through it. Drugs put me in a terrible mood and make me sensitive to sound. I got really mad at the washing machine earlier. (Sorry, man.)

I couldn't be a drug addict even if I wanted to. It makes life so much more less enjoyable. 

Does that even make sense?
Whatever, it's the drugs talking.

Alive,
TWS