3.14 in the Sky

I have started this post so many times trying to figure out a clever way to break the news, so I'm just going to say it.

What has two thumbs and is moving out of Statesboro next weekend?

THIS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*points to self with thumbs*
*I could not take a picture of this event because holding a camera would require one of the thumbs*

I also began writing down all the benefits, a lot of which began with "No more of...", but I thought that would bore you, so I just left them out. There were a lot of them.
A. Lot.

Just know that I am very, very, very excited and stoked and I want to start packing right now even though it's still like 11 days away and I can have a flower bed and go swimming in a resort style pool and there's a kitchen and a shower and and and...

There I go with the benefits again. They just slip out of me like farts slip out of old people.
Uncontrollably, unabashedly.

But I'll lovingly smother you with the details when I actually move in.
There will be pictures, and then later there will be a party.
*high-pitched, giddy squeal*
And yes, you're all invited.

Which brings me to my next point:
Who actually reads this blog? Like, how many PEOPLE read this blog?
I feel like I need to take attendance. So if you're here, when I call your name, just say "here".

Though there's always that d-bag that says, "Present".
D-bag.

Every time I hear that someone else reads this blog, I'm like, "What? COOL. Why don't they comment and let me know!?!???!??!?"
I realize I advertise every other post on Facebook (which is actually how Mike and I started "talking" if you wanted to know the age-old story about how we came to be...), but when no one comments or "likes" or "diggs" or "follows" or does any kind of annoying cyber-poking, I have no idea that it's even being read.

If I knew for certain that it wasn't being read, would I still post?
Is this a Geico commercial?

*high five if you got that reference*

My point is that I really would like to invite you to a party in Pooler where there will be a pool and a party but probably not a pool party because I don't think I can reserve it for large crowds.
Is my audience a large crowd?
I HAVE NO IDEA!

So if you read, please leave a comment (or "like" or "digg" or "follow" but NO POKING WHATSOEVER) every once in a while.
It doesn't even have to be a real comment.
It can just be a letter.
Or a semi-colon.
Or a picture of hugging lizards.

I was at Wendy's today:
Me: ...And I would like a side salad with ranch...
Cashier: You smell REALLY GOOD!
Me, externally: Thanks...and I'll have a value fry.
Me, internally: I live for days like these.


I have to be wary of friendly salespeople, though. You never know when they're going to pull out a snarky "the bag doesn't go with your outfit" and whack you upside the head with it.
See previous posts for more detail.

I'm leaving and there's no coming back
Got no room for places like this in my sack,
TWS

This is a citation.