Paper Bag

I literally hate Apple more than my own brain can comprehend.

You all know how my computer is broken, which is why I've only been able to e-mail like 3% of you for the past week and a half. Ergo, I have to use other people's/places' computers to get anything done.

This afternoon, I went to the computer lab at my apartment complex to put in my hours for my internship. Since all the _________ people were using the Dells, I had to use the Mac.

The sleek, rounded-corner Mac.
Why do they have rounded corners?
 Because they don't want their precious users to get poked by the cutting edge technology.

That was a good pun.
You should probably write that one down.

Anyway: first, it took me too long to find the USB port. So long, in fact, that I was beginning to think it was pulling an iPad and not going to have one. But then I found it in a really awkward spot. If computers had buttholes, that's where this USB port would have been.

Which is quite fitting for a computer that's such an ass.

Secondly, I know Excel seems like it will operate the same on a Mac as it does on a PC, but it really doesn't. For my internship, I have to log what activities I do each week to make sure that this is a legit internship and that I'm not running to get people coffee and answering phones. So I merge some cells, and I'm writing my paragraph about how awesome my job is. Although cells can go on forever, I like to have my paragraph in a readable format, so I try the "alt-enter" to move the lines down, but it doesn't work. Then I'm like- "Ooooh- this is a Mac; I probably have to use the command key."

But there was no command key. It was Dell keyboard.

Control-Enter.
Nope.
Windows symbol- Enter.
Nope.

Then suddenly, there was an error, Excel shut down "unexpectedly" and all of my work was lost.
No, don't send the error report. Apple was just being a d-bag and couldn't process more than two things at a time.

And then I opened it back up, and it so sweetly asked me, "Do you want to restore your saved data?"
Um, YES PLEASE.
And then it brought up nothing more than the skeleton that was already saved on my flash drive.

True story.

By then, all the _______ people were gone, so I switched to a Dell and got my S done, which is supplemental proof that this was not a PICNIC.

And this is twice now that Apple has come close to ruining my life.

But whene'er I'm having a bad day, I just think about the kitchen I'll have in my Pooler apartment that I'm going to be moving into in 155 days, and it gets a little better.

It's a swag kitchen.
I might even have a house-warming party so you can come and look at it and see me in it and take pictures of it and then show it to all your fraaaaaaaaaaaands.

So, you know, look forward to that invitation.

Mike: I had a dream that I was in a lot of debt, I was camping, and a lot of people were trying to kill me.
Me: That's awful! Especially the camping part.

Running through the screen doors of discretion,
TWS