Underwear is expensive.
Like- surprisingly expensive.
I should probably stop wearing it so much.
Just kidding.
(But seriously.)
See, the problem with underwear is that you have to go out and buy it just like anything else.
Which makes it super awkward.
Why?
Because there are people. And when you're picking out underwear, there are people and when you're checking out there are people and then when you get to the car, you're finally safe.
Except if there's a lady in front of you.
Haha- that's an inside joke.
But the fact of the matter is that there are people everywhere, undressing you with their eyes.
And I REALLY don't like to be exhibited in that way.
I probably have some psychological self-image-inferiority complex or like naked-phobia that makes me think all weird like this (that's what makes it interesting, right?), but can we all agree that it is just a little bit REALLY AWKWARD to buy underwear?
Here's a true story that illustrates how strong my feelings are on this subject:
The first time I met Mike's dad, I told him that I'd rather get felt up than ogled at.
We were talking about the "new" airport security.
He gave me a weird look.
In all seriousness, I do not like people looking at my present- or future- underthings!
Underwear is a special secret kept between me and my pants. And when I have to shop for new secrets, I get really uncomfortable.
Like gynecologist-funeral-baby-shower-wool-sweater-uncomfortable.
YEAH.
But then, BEHOLD, on the kitchen table lay a certain catalog.
It brought me tidings of great joy.
For in the catalog, there was a website wherefore I could BUY such clandestine apparel minus audience!
*visit website*
*feel like a fool for about 10 minutes deciding between plaid or stripes*
*consequently, $23.72 will be charged to my Visa*
Watch out; there are sexy panties in the mail.
Awkward shopping trip avoided.
And now my pantaloons are never seen by anyone except me, and I can buy great masses and multitudes of panties and no one would look at me weird!!!!
I'm not going to, I promise.
I'm just letting you know that I can.
Everyone likes panties,
TWS
Allie Jansen I love you...and I share your pain
ReplyDeleteYay!
ReplyDeleteOr accept that there are people everywhere anyway and that they have to buy underwear too, and it's better that you're buying it in the mall than at Walmart. It helps if someone is with you, because then you can make jokes the whole time and get so distracted laughing that you don't even care what people think about you or your underwear.
ReplyDeleteYou should make a Sexy Allowance folder like I did and hang it in your room.
That would exacerbate the issue, my dear.
ReplyDeleteI've been looking everywhere for my Radiant Brunette Conditioner. It's so important that all .25" of my hair is soft, silky, and just the right hue.
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