Condiment Querying

I wore khaki shorts today.
I haven't rocked this style in a while.
What's awesome is that I bought these in 9th grade.
That was 6 years ago.
That was back when I dated stupid boys.
Now I date a smart boy.

And the shorts still fit.

I'll be a senior in TWO days (Dad, that one's for you). Taking a summer semester makes me want to only take summer semesters.
It'd be fun, but ineffective.
Like Ball-in-a-Cup.

So here's my new plan for life in 11 easy steps.
I literally one-upped the 10-step program:

1. Be awesome: work & take 15 hours in the fall
2. Be awesome: work & take 12 hours in the spring
3. Graduate with BBA; Major in accounting and a minor in information systems with SAP certificate. That's a mouthful.
4. Get a graduate assistantship somehow?
5. Be awesome: take 9 hours in summer and work as GA
6. Be awesome: take 12 hours in the fall and work as GA
7. Get engaged???
8. Be awesome: take 9 hours in spring and work as GA
9. Graduate with Macc.
10. Finish taking CPA exam in June 2013; become Allie J CPA :D
11. Get married???; become Allie _ CPA :D

It's going to be awesome!
Although I don't know about all that wedding planning amid graduate school.
I don't want anything big; I just want to be with someone for the rest of my life.
That's all. :)

Today's topic: Honey Mustard Stinginess

Have you ever noticed how the restaurants you frequent have become increasingly stingy over their honey mustard supply? Back in my school lunch days, you could pick up a few with your meal- no problem. Then they started keeping it behind the counter so that you had to ask for it, but you could still ask for some free of charge- no mean looks, no problem.

But now recently, they CHARGE you for it. 25 cents a packet. And I'd be fine paying the little extra to satiate my addiction for it, but their whole attitude towards it is just awful. Somehow, they're always like- surprised- that you want sauce with your meal. And when you order, it's not like they ask you if you'd like sauce with that (which would be effective up-sizing, btw) so that they can just add the charge onto the bill. Nonono- they wait until you've paid with a card and then when you ask, assuming it's free, they get all mad that they have to ring up another stinking order for 50 cents of sauce.
And then the way they inform you that they charge for this now is just hilarious.

Example scenario:
Worker: "Order 292"
Me: "Could I get some honey mustard?"
Worker: "You know that'll be an extra 25 cents?"

It's like it's an informative question. How do you even answer that?
"Yes, I know? Can you reach down there and get some so I can hand you the spare change I found in your parking lot in exchange for such saucy goodness?"
Or, conversely:
"Oh, really? Well, that extra 25 expense totally changes my opinion about this restuarant. I shall have to masticate my chicken without such luxuries!"

But WHY IS IT SO MUCH MORE VALUABLE than the other condiments?!?!? Is there drought and famine in the land where honey mustard trees grow? Why cannot there not be huge vats with pumps of HM like there are for mayonnaise and ketchup? Why can't it be FREE again?

Like- why all of the sudden did they start charging for this? Did some honey mustard supply and demand curves shift?

Here's some business advice that I thought they already knew but apparently they don't: Include the price of the sauce into the price of the chicken sandwich so that it appears free and you don't seem like such a prick by charging separately.

Sometimes they don't even ring it up as a separate purchase and just kind of throw your change in a little cup that could be easily compromised. (Lack of internal controls!!!) How is anyone even keeping track of the additional honey mustard revenue?

And have you noticed that when you get "fed up" and go to the grocery store to buy your own freaking bottle of the stuff that it's never as good? It's too mustardy. I also think there is a little novelty that comes with the individual packet that the bottle just can't replace.

My favorite is when I ask for honey mustard at a restaurant, and the worker goes and looks in the back and then comes back to me and says something like, "We don't have any honey mustard, but we have BBQ sauce."

As if honey mustard and BBQ sauce taste even remotely the same.
There are absolutely NO substitutes for honey mustard. Not even honey mixed with mustard will suffice.
They just don't understand.

Also, shoestring fries > waffle fries > crinkle fries.
Read: Everywhere else > Zaxby's.
TRUE STORY.
Comment if you disagree.

Bet you won't,
TWS