A Momentary Lapse in Cynosure

I should be featured on a cooking show. I'd perform a segment called "How to dice a jalapeño into perfectly sized little parallelograms". I was making chili this afternoon and because the store didn't have chili peppers, I had to use a jalapeño (but technically I am still making "chili" because I used chili powder {as opposed to jalapeño powder?}). It's close enough. Anyway, I sliced the pepper open and took all the little seeds out, and then I discovered that if you roll the pepper flat and slice from opposite corners twice, you end up with delightful, seedless pepper pieces, perfect for flavor or garnish.

I'm a genius.

Well, somewhat.

I'm still unable to dice an onion without practically bleeding from my eyes. My sunglasses method only works about half way through the onion, but it allows me to take breaks in order to supply you with a b/a picture of the event.















It makes onion-chopping look so effortlessly cool.

I've also come across the best oatmeal in the world. If you like oatmeal, or food that tastes good in general, you should definitely take me up on this. It tastes like someone put cake frosting and vanilla ice cream on pancakes that had a long-term relationship with a doughnut that had a creamy, buttery affair with a waffle who breathed cinnamon and farted sugar.

"But, Allie J, aren't you allergic to cinnamon?"

Yep.

And you're welcome, Better Oats, for the publicity*.

*The reason I did not use the colloquial phrase "free advertising" is because in Marketing, we learned that advertising is a paid service, so sticking "free" on the front of it makes it a paradoxial term, which apparently isn't cool. So when someone promotes your product without a monetary incentive, it's just called "publicity".

The more you know!

I've spent the greater part of my Memorial Day doing tiresome loads of caviling homework. It reminds me faintly of the summer projects of high school AP classes. Do you remember those? Specifically: The Miracle at Philadelphia? Or Life of Pi? Or A Prayer for Owen Meany?
Oh, the horror!

While we're in a nostalgic mode, remember the song "I like the way you move"? Why did they ever think that was appropriate for football games?

And, Davin, I did not poke you; I merely messaged you. That was all.

I just realized I haven't spoken to anyone all day, but I know I've been speaking a lot, so that means that I've been talking to myself all day.
*shrug*
I amuse myself.

And here is another way I amuse myself: I was studying for accounting yesterday and I was reading through the following notes that I had taken in Dr. Lynch's class:

-Trial Balance: ensures total debits = total credits for the period.
-Follows distinct order: assets, liabilities, equity, revenues, expenses, dividends.
-Lynch's pants are like 1 cm too short today.
-Cash basis: revenues and expenses are recorded when cash is received or paid.

And I kept going like normal with notes on accrual basis accounting. I seriously love the way I take notes. I did the same thing in my financial accounting class when I recorded the day my teacher's shoe disintegrated into small pieces of black rubber all over the floor. I make journal entries amidst journal entries.

And yes, that was an accounting reference.

I'm going to spend the latter part of the day away from keyboard with the greatest man I have ever known and have come to love.

Errol Flynn, my guitar, of course!

Who else would it be?

"Turtles on the rocks" would make for an interesting drink,
T.T.