Crosswalks

I cannot concentrate today. I am so distracted with life right now. My caffiene is on caffiene. I don't have one train of thought; I have a whole metropolitan subway station with trains that keep colliding into each other and destroying things.

And I have a secret.

But this post is not about said secret. I don't want you to know the secret, but I do want you to know that I have one, so this post will be laced with subtle hints about the secret.

"The edges of the burger will hang over the side of the bun, and people will like that."
-Dave Thomas; Wendy's training video

I think it would be awesome to have white hair when I'm old. I mean, silver is wise and all, but I think white is like the blonde of the senior generation. And you know what they say, whites have more fun.
(was that unintentionally racist?)

Have you ever wanted to say something, but you found that you just couldn't? Not because it wasn't true, but because you physically couldn't SAY the words?
I love divine intervention.
It's so wise.

I saw a shooting star last Friday night, which was pretty ballin'. I wished for something attainable but not by my own doing. It was a little lofty, but we'll see how it works out.
Lace, lace, lace.

I hate essay questions that ask me WHY I think I'd be a good candidate or WHY I should get scholarship. I just want to write, "Why shouldn't I?" They're the ones making the decisions. They should call the shots and eliminate on a negativity basis. For instance, "This person is not dead and has never been convicted of a crime: HIRED!"
Unfortunately, though, that would be lowering the bar. However, this phrase doesn't really make sense because if you lower the bar, and you're doing the Limbo, it gets harder instead of easier. Someone didn't take that into account. It was probably the same person who came up with the phrase "sub-par" to describe things that are less than average because anyone who's anyone and golfers (OH!! BURN!!!) knows that is not the case.

My coworker smells like a gas station.

Today, I was pulling my hair back into a ponytail, and the elastic snapped and shot across the room. Fortunately, no one saw, but the event was heart-rending. Since that was the only one I had and I forgot my brush this morning, I can't wear my hair down without looking like a blonde wooly mammoth (think about it), so I had to tie it back to itself and pull up my hair anyway.

And WHAT IS THE DEAL with people having the HEAT on???? Yes, I know it's cold in the morning, but after about noon, you should really turn it off and open a window or something. I was filing yesterday and about to faint because of it (which would've been an awesome way to complete that life goal) and the other lady in the office was just sitting there quite comfortably in long sleeves and jeans talking to one of her relatives on the phone.
The only thing that kept me going was being able to think about something else.
Lace, lace, lace.

A ranking of hugs (assuming you generally like the person which you are embracing):
Full frontal: 10
Bear hugs: 8
Car hugs: 7
Fellow-church-goer hugs: 4
Hugs to/from inanimate objects (like trees): 2
Side hugs: -1
Location, location, location.
Laaaaaace.

Mumford and Sons is the best. At first when everyone was OMG about them, I was like- whatever. But now, having a second listen, it's wonderful to my soul. "English folk rock" is how Wikipedia describes it.
How would I describe it? Well, let's just say that if I was a pirate, it would be what I would listen to on my ship.
Banjolins.

Pick out the true statement:
a. I have never been to a concert before.
b. I have never had a cavity.
c. I have never seen a horror film in a theatre before.
d. I have never broken a bone.
e. All of the above are true because this is a blog that speaks of truth.

Hint: pick E.
And there's some lace in there, too, if you didn't notice.

I think the person who invented car alarms was deaf. It has to be the only explanation of why someone would purposely create something so obnoxious.

Caleb says I would be a terrible salesperson. That's a true story. He said that after I ranted about how my iPad is more useless than the gum on the bottom of my shoe. At least I can stick a flash drive into the gum.
(BURN!!!!!! on Apple which is, according to Fortune magazine, the best company for which to work. But I don't like your inventions, Apple. I like your competition. MUAHAHA!)
Anyway... I would make a terrible salesperson because I am brutally honest and sometimes that's not the best way to get people to buy a product.
So we're doing this fundraiser in Accounting Association that involves selling COBA drawings to people graduating, and we were thinking up ways to promote it.
Aka: Marketing.
And you know my feelings about marketing.
So since it's a picture of a building, I was like- HEY! Let's put a picture of the building ON the building, and then another picture of the building on that picture.
It would've been an epic sort of vandalism.
Either go big or go home, know what I'm saying?
Lace? Only a little.

Is Dillon turning 25 or 26 today? I think it's 25. Ok, good.
Glucklicher Geburtstag!!!!!!

And remember- just because you make a perfect score on science portion of the graduation test doesn't mean that you should be a chiropractor.

Just thought I should point that out.

And it was not your fault but mine,
T.T.