Butter has meltdowns all the time.

It's really cold back here, so I had to pop a steaming bowl of popcorn. And it is steaming- right in my face. It's what we call "biofuel".

I got frustrated with my latest sewing project (dress B, but with less lipstick, better shoes, higher neckline, and longer skirt). You would not BELIEVE all the back-breaking work that goes into that skirt. And you're all like, "Come on- what's so back breaking about sewing?" And I'll be all like, " The ironing board is at a certain height, and in order to see what I'm pressing, I have to hunch over. And it takes a really long time to go all the way around the skirt- twice- and you have to get it perfect or else the world will descend into deep, dark anarchy where people wear slightly uneven clothes."

Slightly.

Or at least that's how my mum makes it sound. I sound so home-schooled.

Story: The Spectacle(sssss)

Yesterday, we were sewing and I asked how you're supposed to know what size needle is what and Mum said it was written on the side of the needle. I look and find it, written very small there, and before I knew it, she had pulled out these...glasses that looked like something you could find at a dental supply store or a joke shop. Easily.

Since Mum wouldn't let me take a picture (with my BALLIN' new camera, might I add), I had to draw my own. I know this may seem very Allie Bosh of me, but in no way am I trying to infringe anyone's ideas here.

A Visual of the VISUAL

But here's the real kicker: despite all of her gear for this needle-reading occasion, she didn't use the glasses/goggles/telescope, but continued to wear them. She could see fine without it because she's near-sighted. Therefore, one can only assume she enjoys wearing them and heretofore zealously waits for an opportunity to don them.

You absolutely loved my usage of heretofore. It's 4 words in one. It's like nevertheless, but BETTER.

We went over to my grandparent's house the other day and Granny was giving us the usual update: "I didn't sleep well; ibuprofen wreaked havoc on my GI tract; my glucose was..." and so on. But apparently in the middle of the night, my grandpa talked in his sleep and said something similar to the following:

"You prescription is ready. When will you be able to pick it up?"

And Granny was like WHU?

I thought that was pretty cool. My grandpa used to work at the FDA as a pharmacist, so it's like his brain went back in time. Ha- maybe in a few years I'll say something in my sleep like, "Good afternoon, this is the office of student accounts..."

But so far I've just been drooling. Lots and lots of drooling.

Cleve walking around the electronics section on Wal-Mart:

Cleve: Horton Hears A Who. Ha- Norton Hears a Virus.

I was at Goodwill today buying a dress (I know- I know it's another dress, but when it fits so perfectly, how can you resist?), and I go to checkout, and the guy cashier holds up the dress and asks, "Is this a children's dress?"

Um...no?

"Girls dress?"

Not exactly...

"Women's dress?"

There you go.

I didn't know I was that tiny, geez.

But then I got a student discount of 10%, which came out to saving a grand total of 55 cents.

Also- my next photo shoot for my Winter Collection will be this week. I'll have 8 pieces, if I ever finish that interminable skirt edging. ROAR. Be sure to check Facebook, but if you're not already my friend on there, don't ask me because I'm sitting at a nice, round 100 friends right now, and I really don't want to mess that up.

Yeah.

So what do rich people play on boats?

Yachtzee,

T.T.

P.S. The "freaky" thing that happened in Dubai was that a Pakistani guy tried to kiss her.

Mum: What is with you and foreigners?

LOLZ