Turning Away Customers

Sarah comes back from Kenya today.

"Really?"

Ken-YEAH!

Actually, she's already not in Kenya. She had a layover in Amsterdam. And we all know what that means.

...

That's right: WINDMILLS.

But I actually am looking forward to seeing her. Apparently something happened in Dubai that "would really freak Mum out", so I'm looking forward to that story. My vote is that it was one of the following:

a. Airport security

b. Terrorist threat

c. Plane crash

d. B and C

e. None of the above

(see, if you pick E, you can be right no matter WHAT it is!)

Story: Phone In the Dressing Room

Mum and I went shopping, and we were going to the dressing room, and her obnoxious phone started ringing. Later, she's like, "It sounded so far away, I didn't think it was mine!" That is because she may be going deaf. So after annoying all the people in the dressing room (or at least I get bugged when someone's cell phone goes on and on and on and on, but I'm actually that way about phones in general) she takes it out of her purse and opens it, while squeezing the sides in excitement:

There are two types of people in the world:

1. Those who answer the phone to get it to stop ringing

2. Those who answer the phone to talk to whoever is on the other side

I am the former. Mum, the latter. So, all hyped up about who it is on the phone, she's gripping the phone like a boa constrictor, ne'er to let go, and answers it with a loud, HELLO!?!?!?

In the dressing room.

And since she gripped the phone in such an extreme desperate excited arthritic manner, she accidentally pushed the speak phone button.

And it's my sister in Nairobi, so you know they're going to talk forever. And you know how when you have your iPod/less-stupid MP3 player in, and it's turned up kind of loud, and someone asks you a question, and you answer them REALLY LOUD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HEAR YOURSELF OVER THE LOUD MUSIC? That's how this conversation was because it was on speaker phone.

In the dressing room.

So from this little stall, you hear, "HEY WOO! WHERE ARE YOU? UNCLE DAL IS COMING IN THURSDAY BUT IT'S ONLY GOING TO BE FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES. GET THIS: WE'RE IN THE DRESSING ROOM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH! MY PHONE STARTED RINGING AND I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm not kidding. This is what she actually said/yelled to my sister/audience in the dressing room.

So I fling open my door because this is just ridiculous, and I reach for the phone to undo the speaker phone. But you know how you have to hold down a button for it to actually take action? She thought by just me pushing it, it would do. So, naturally, it didn't turn off, but Mum thinks it did, and keeps talking with exorbitant volume.

In the dressing room.

I gave up at this point, tried on my stuff, it was all too short, and I leave the dressing room.

Later Mum's like, "I could barely hear her- it's like it wasn't coming out of the ear piece."

Um, maybe that's because SPEAKER PHONE DOESN'T COME OUT OF THE EAR PIECE????

Some people are flat out technology-retarded. Like when my grandparents had their accident in South Carolina, my grandmother had to have the police officer show her how to use her cell phone.

IT'S LIKE A REGULAR PHONE.

I don't get it, and apparently, neither do they.

Furthermore, people should only be able to utilize the things/technologies they understand.

Which brings me to my next point:

Now that I believe in the stock market, I'm going to start investing in it. However, I'm reading up on all my options from an investing book I bought at a thrift store for 50 cents. I hope the book was a good investment. Hbarf.

That's like we were playing Shang-Hai Rummy the other night, and Cleve had used up his two buys, and then someone discarded a card he really wanted, so he was upset that he couldn't buy it, and I was like, "Hey- let bygones be bygones. Like- literally, BUY-gones. Your buys are gone. Bygones. Yeah."

Last night, I had a dream Cleve and I broke up. And it's like we knew we were going to get back together, so we were both in high spirits about it. I forgot what we broke up about (or maybe I never knew). You know how dreams are. Or at least you know how my dreams are.

Did you feel like your thoughts were semantic

While you were in the middle of the Atlantic,

T.T.