Unrelated Matter

I finally figured out how to work the TV in the living room. This might not seem like such an accomplishment, but every time I come home from college, I have to relearn all the remotes, their functionality, and the correct "settings" to hack into the DVR booty vault.

But now I know!

And lest I forget, I shall record this information to save time in the future:

1. Turn on the TV. It's the longest remote on the coffee table with the red button. Somehow, turning the TV on makes the blue light on the TV turn off. This was also very confusing to learn.

2. Turn on sound stereo using the remote that's too colorful for its own good. Side note: this remote also controls the volume.

3. Turn on the computer mouse.

4. Make sure you're on the right channel. "Tuner" is live TV. Press the "source" button on the third remote to get it to the computer screen.

5. And access DVR from there.

Isn't that a ridiculous amount of work just to watch TV?

I've been sewing a skirt. IT HAS POCKETS. It matches my scarf, which was the whole reason I was making the skirt (and to see if I could really do it all by myself). It has top-stitching, too, which I might end up taking out and redoing. Like most everything I create. But it HAS POCKETS. Like- made out of a different but matching fabric, so it looks legit. Now all I have to do is the button and button hole. And clip off all remaining threads. And the hem because right now it's hanging there like a Goodwill skirt.

And you all know what I'm talking about.

Dear Pandora,

Miley Cyrus is NOT in the same genre as Taylor Swift. Please remember this in the future.

Sincerely,

Me

Yesterday the doorbell rang, and I was all the way in the back of the house watching Seinfeld on my sister's bed.

"Why were you in your sister's room?"

Because in the fall/winter time, the sun comes up in her window.

And I like the sun.

So ANYWAY, the doorbell rings, and I take like forever getting it because I was in the back room and I expected the guy, who I thought might be a mail guy, to have gone away by then. But he was still there. So I open the door.

"Hey! Is your husband around?"

Whut?

"Oh- you mean my DAD?"

So either I look really old or my dad looks really young. Moral of story: don't hang around when roofers come calling.

And we're getting a new roof.

We're having a bit of Led Zeppelin weather today. It'd be a good day to stay inside and read one's past blogs. I might succumb to that.

I bought Cleve a __________ for Christmas (hint: the item DOESN'T start with a vowel since I put the article "a" in front of it- and you know how I wouldn't make any hypothetical grammatical errors if I could help it. Just thought I'd point that out to you. Ok- we're going to move along; sorry to slow you down). And I also bought some trendy shoes. Not for Cleve, though. They're like boots, but not. They're also like heels, but not. They're on every other page of the J. Crew catalog, though. (But that's not why I bought them. (But that may have influenced my decision. (But here's what went on in the store))):

Me: I can't decide if I want them or not. I mean, they're SUPER trendy, but I can't think of anything I'd wear them with right now, but I know in the future that if I had something and I didn't have the shoes, then I would be sad.

Mum: Well, you are a working woman now...

Excellent argument, Mum. And now I have 37 pairs of shoes.

Disclaimer: I'm not really sure if I have 37 pairs of shoes, that's just a rough estimate. I know I have more than 20, but less than 50. And there's your confidence interval. The alpha level would be 0 in this case, since I am 100% confident that the true proportion of my shoes falls within this interval. Therefore, since the probability can never be below zero, we will never reject the null hypothesis.

We "fail to reject" the null hypothesis.

Yeah, I'm taking statistics.

Yesterday, I was in the shower and all of the sudden, my ring and middle fingers starting getting really warm on the inside and extremely sensitive to touch. The hot water seemed to burn them. They weren't warm to the touch- only internally. This phenomenon lasted for about a half hour. Due to internet/self diagnosis, I either have an infection or Raynaud's Syndrome. But I doubt the Raynaud's thing because it didn't change color. It was just a really freaky thing. I should probably tell someone.

Nah.

During a game of Taboo:

Cleve: Okay- you're trying to get me to do this!

Me: Paint my nails! Pedicure! Manicure! Not wear jerseys anymore!

Answer: Dental floss.

Tomorrow just doesn't feel like Thanksgiving. The timing doesn't seem right for cranberry sauce. In a Good Housekeeping (or perhaps it was Better Homes and Gardens? Or Ladies Home Journal? Nah- I'm pretty sure it was Good Housekeeping) they had a really dumb suggestion for a centerpiece. I mean, I guess it was a centerpiece. They suggested getting a bunch of cheese graters together on a platter, placing candles under them, and "watching the sparkle" as the light plays off of the little holes in the graters. They had a picture of this conglomeration of rusty old cheese graters sitting around with tea lights under them. And then the authors/"interior decorators" had the gall to throw in "For safety, use LED lights instead of candles."

This just raised a bunch of questions for me:

1. WHERE are you going to get like 10 vintage-looking cheese graters? They suggested a flea market or on eBay. Seems like a lot of shipping and handling for a "simple" centerpiece...

2. WHAT are you going to do with 10 vintage-looking cheese graters after the centerpiece has...well, centerpieced? They're not very storage friendly. Also, the marginal utility declines with each additional grater. In economics, we call this the "Law of Diminishing Returns". Ergo, this centerpiece is bad economics.

3. WHY would you put a picture of candles in your magazine instead of your suggested LED lights under the graters? Posers.

4. WHO is actually going to take this suggestion? It's CHEESE GRATERS. What will be the centerpiece next year? PIZZA CUTTERS?

It just didn't make sense to me.

IS THAT DILLON I HEAR?

(Or is it a case of mistaken identity?),

T.T.

That was a lot of punctuation right there. I'm being very punctilious. No pun(ctuation) intended.